To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

This.
Doesn't matter how smoking hot you look, she doesn't want her pals seeing you like that. I'd have died of embarrassment as a child/teen

Hi OP, I'm 17. Reading this I am oscillating between laughing and holding my head in my hands. Please, please, DO NOT put this photo where you dd can see, and esp not where any of her friends can see. I get you wouldn't ask her to keep it secret from professionals, but she shouldn't be in that situation, esp, if she's neurodivergent. I would feel really weird being shown sensual pics of my mum and told to keep them private, even partially. I wouldn't disapprove, I just wouldn;t want to be told or see. I feel it is different from pp's friend whose model mum had a small underwear pic on fridge, (though even that's a bit iffy), since its prime purpose was for you to be 'overtly sensual'. It's great you feel newly confident and aware of your possibilities, though I second pps that it is a pity that you had to have to photoshoot to feel that way. I have a lot of sympathy-my mother is single and has always felt unconfident about 'finding love', mainly due to snippy comments from others, (including sils). And of course society always encourages women to feel they look inadequate. Don't let dinosaurs get you down!
Beware if her friends do see-in Fun Home, Alison Bechdel draws her friend's house (using her real name I think-hopefully with her permission), incl a nude pic of her friend's mum on the wall of a public room, drawn by friend's dad. You don't want your dd's friends' doing that!

You're really enjoying this fantasy, aren't you?

I actually didn’t think other people’s pictures are that great. But mine blew me away.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I like your style OP

Really don’t understand why you need to hang it up ? If it’s only you that wants to see it just have it on your phone

I’ll be very disappointed if it wasn’t a builders hat.

Because you quoted me and others litrally talking about children pole dancing and then talking about underwear and YOU sexualised it.

What bizarre images do you have going on in your head? And why be so rude?

Here is a person. One pic with no make up. One pic with make up.

Can you seriously not see that they are the same person?

Go look at a professional pic of your wedding, where you're made up to look beautiful, your hair is done in an amazing style and you've been posed by your professional photographer, who maybe used additional lighting. Then look at a selfie. Are you really telling me you look like 2 different people?

OP hasn't seen mine 🤣

To be fair @Wasjumpking - it’s the OP who’s pushing how different she looks, and the lesson she’s learnt about what else she might be capable of. Clearly the pictures are a huge departure from
her every day look. From the first para of the OP:

They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

And ‘boudoir’ (I hope after this thread I never have to say that word again ) shots are not exactly known for their muted, nude make-up look, as in the before-and-after shots you just posted! I mean…..

We all know full well make-up can transform people….

No please don't OP. Not with a 13 year old daughter. It will certainly make a contribution to her understanding of sexuality, but it's not possible to predict what conclusions she will draw. I would personally try to avoid inadvertently linking publicly sexy with strong and capable in her mind. Also, the potential for bullying is huge. Some parents won't be ok with their teens seeing a friend's mum in her underwear.

I actually didn’t think other people’s pictures are that great. But mine blew me away.

🙃

We read it different ways then @GodDammitCecil

I read it that the little extra resource and expertise was the lighting and the professional posing techniques.

As that's the difference it made for me. I could have done my make up and hair myself... Just not as quickly as the experts!

No overmade up face for me in my shoot. I wanted to see me shining through.

I don't understand why some people have to be so flipping rude about it and fail to see they might be wrong.

I hate the word boudoir too 🤣 But tis what it tis.

It would have been the lighting, the posing - and the make-up!

Clearly make-up can completely transform people, is the point.

I think you're being contradictory in that you expect your bedroom to be a private place that her friends don't see but also saying that the dogs open the door and it's always open. It's extremely likely one of her friends will take a photo of them for the group chat if they're there and your door is open and they see.

I'm all up for displaying them but if kids are wondering around the house unsupervised and your door is open that's what will happen.

You could also take them down when a friend visits- it depends how often they visit

I keep seeing Shania Twain in her "Feel like a Woman" video.

That and Lois from Family Guy as Lois was regularly described (often by Brian the dog) as "smokin' hot"

Surely the point was to look different to how she looks doing the school run and weekly shop. It's supposed to express a lesser-seen side of her.

MN is mainly populated by middle aged women. We all know makeup changes how you look. That's literally what it's for.

It's not just looking different to on the school run. It's not real. They can make anyone look amazing. The lighting & poses as well as the very heavy make-up could never be recreated .
That's great if that is what you want, a bit of make believe.

It's like some people's social media that have been filtered. Some people look totally different in real life. They aren't fooling anyone.

YouTube has 100s of videos of people doing pole work fully clothed. Here's a few.

I saw the first one. It was elegant, graceful and beautiful. Wasn't "sexy" and wasn't intended to be.

Clothed 1 Clothed 3

You're so determined to pull OP down and make her feel that she's not as pretty as she is in the pictures that you've missed the point over and over. It's not supposed to look like her everyday self. It's not supposed to be her everyday self.

This is such a spiteful thread. Why are so many grown women so offended that someone got some photos of herself looking sexy after a hard few years in which she forgot that side of herself, and now feels happier about it?

Those are lovely. So you like pole dancing now?

OP basically said that the other women's photos weren't great like hers.

She hardly sounds kind.

Most posters are thinking about her Daughter.

It's insulting to the artists in those videos to call that "pole dancing" I's usually called something like "arial work". or "flying pole"

No, I don't like "pole dancing" as I'm not a fan of sexually objectified women being paid to perform in a sexualised way by grotty, sleazy punters and calling it "empowering"