To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

Why in her bra and pants though? Appreciating the female form or prancing around looking provocative in a hat and pearls.....

They may have originated there but pole dance has many different forms now. A example: The runner up of Americas Got Talent wasn’t writhing about and it wasn’t for the male gaze. The roots should never be diminished imo but pole dance is such a broad spectrum of styles now.

Have to disagree as a poler. Mallakhamb is not where it came from.

So if it's now a legitimate dance form, would you be happy for 3yo girls to take it up, like they would ballet?

@SurprisedWithAHorse

Public selling point? It's a private shoot with photos in private spaces for self expression. Who's the market?

Well the market in large part is her children. That's the whole point.

Look I'm not going to hide the fact that I think boudoir photography of this kind is cringeworthy. I don't find it offensive in a moralistic, pearl clutchy way, just really naff and tasteless and that certainly colours my perspective.

That's a subjective thing and I accept not everyone feels as I do but it's a separate issue from the fact that I think this is deeply embarrassing for OP's daughter and completely unnecessary for her to have to see it all the time.

You’ll be shocked to hear there’s kids classes out there then

If it's that small I guess it's no big deal. I was imagining a portrait piece. I'd come to your house even if it was more 'in my face' but, like most people, you'd never know my thoughts, good or bad. I agree that it's up to you what you put in your house (same with OP).

It was a poster upthread defending it who mentioned it being done in heels.

No need for a campaign against heels - most women have done away with them in recent times, they're pretty unfashionable nowadays. Apart from those who still wear them to feel "empowered" I suppose.

Why should everything revolve around what the DD might or might not want?
Because the daughter is a child and it's not the role of children to have emotional baggage and discomfort so that an adult can centre their own sexual side.

Mothers are entitled to have a separate self and identity.

I don't think many posters have said otherwise. Adult sexuality is an entirely normal part of life.

Most adults understand that there is a healthy separation between adult sexuality and children, and understand that there's something problematic about adults needing to perform their sexual self in front of children for validation.

Seriously? Who the fuck would let their daughter do pole dancing?

Having had a child in professional ballet training for many years, I'd probably prefer pole dancing as a fitness hobby. My teen daughter did it for a bit. It was just a social thing she did with her friends and good exercise. Never an issue with it.

Would you be happy with you daughter posing in the same way, dressed similarly and one of her friends taking pictures of her, then your daughter sharing the images with whomever she wishes? If not, it is not appropriate for her to see.

Boudoir photos are sexual. That's what makes them boudoir photos. Inappropriate to display to anyone you don't want to fuck.

Better get your pearls out cause mine has.

it is not taught in heels, nor does it have the styles you seem to expect it to be.

Seriously? Who the fuck would let their daughter do pole dancing?
If they're anything like my local ones it's wearing shorts and t shirt to do acro tricks. Some places offer it along side other aerial arts.

I had reservations when I first heard about it, but having spoken to friends and seen some of the class material, I'd not be concerned if DC wanted to do it.

If they were doing dances or sexualised moves then obviously I'd run for the hills.

It’s not something that I would do (the shoot or displaying it) but you know you and your dd. I don’t think others can tell you what to do.

I’m glad that you found something that makes you feel good.

My mam bought me an excersize pole for my bedroom in my teens... I never really took to it (I'm a weakling, it takes a LOT of strength to do).

I don't really see how its greatly different from balance beam (I did as a child) or Acrodance any other form of gymnastics.

There are tribes where there men pole dance. Theres even some male prison and urban street culture that embraces it because they lack easy access gym equipment and its a fantastic core workout using what they do have access too.

Just because in the western world some people can't uncouple it from 'sex work' doesn't mean it is.

You think you look the same and that is all that matters. May as well dream here as in bed.

It is a no from me. Could you put them up inside your wardrobe door perhaps so you see them every day but they are not on the wall for all to see?Remember you can get them out to look at any time you want.

i think restricting you daughter allowing friends upstairs just so you can display these images is a but weird but also unfair as It is her home too. That said, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say her friends shouldn’t be in your bedroom. I would say it is fine for DD.

Just tacky. I'd never invite my mates round if my parents displayed stuff like that. Some things kids don't want to see or hear....I definitely don't put my kids through any of it. It's their home after all too.

You're planning to hang it in your bedroom - I think that's absolutely fine. Personally I'd rather have a smaller one beside the bed, but I think that speaks more to my confidence than you doing anything wrong.

If her friends see it, through your open door and on the wall - I suspect they'll be as likely to mention it as they would if they say your dirty knickers and bra on the floor. Sure they might be mortified - but if someone is looking in a private space then they get what they get IMO.

It's weird though how the men that do it don't tend to be only in knickers and a bra though, don't you think?

Every post of yours makes me feel queasy, OP. You're going to do it anyway, for some reason you just wanted even more validation for doing that and an opportunity to argue the toss whilst keeping on about how amazing you are. Sad.

I feel sorry that your daughter will have this foisted on her because... your needs trump hers.

Your username says it all. Who thinks like that? Ugh.

Not a parent so no opinion on the DD thing, however I'm concerned about how cringy and tacky it'd look on a wall. For me this is the saucy equivalent of "Live Love Laugh".

ANYWAY OP
Boudoir pictures are meant to be sexualised, there are no doubt about this. I have them (they aren’t on display and I don’t particularly like them 13 years on!) but it’s just not something I could have up on a big display, I don’t feel it’s appropriate and they weren’t taken to show to them.

i think the question is, who did you take the pictures for? Then it’s for their eyes.