To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

How is it empowering? An enhanced photo of you in your bra and knickers? Why would you feel more confident? It's a lack of confidence that makes these women dress up, get made up and pose to look like an airbrushed version of themselves. It's very sad because those photos are not real. You DO NOT look like that, it's a new, improved, enhanced version of you because you think the old one is not good enough.

"The origins of pole dancing can be traced back to the ancient Indian sport of Mallakhamb."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pole_dance

OP said the picture would go up in her bedroom...keep up.

Why are you even commenting if you can't be bothered to read OP's thread.

Any excuse to slut shame a woman, eh?

Massively cringe and really dated, I remember my friends and I as teenagers in the 90s cringing and laughing at the idea of strangers doing this. I cannot imagine if it was my own mum!

Just....no!

Oh OK. Did they wear high heels doing it too?

@SurprisedWithAHorse

But all of this is irrelevant and the thread's focus on it makes it clear what people are really objecting to. They would say and have said all the exact same things when an OP does a boudoir shoot and lives alone! It's nothing to do with the kid. And people who are claiming it's all about "boundaries" and protecting the child are giving themselves away with all the sneering about the shoot itself, which is not actually thr issue.

It's about both.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree on the "empowerment" point. I think using your sexuality as a public selling point, particularly with the help of a lot of augmentation, is not empowering and I think these shots are undignified, embarrassing and a bit desperate. It's not that confident people shouldn't celebrate themselves. To me underlining the fact that you've paid someone to make you look sexually appetising in a picture to display in your home is the opposite of selling confidence, it's advertising insecurity, its shouting it from the rooftops.

I accept that's a personal view and people can do whatever they want in the comfort of their own homes if it doesn't embarrass their children. If they draw some sense of empowerment from it it's a free country.

But I do think forcing your children to contemplate pictures of yourself in slightly coquettish poses in their home (and in front of their peers) is a different matter and takes this into the realms of narcissism. I really struggle to see any positives about broadcasting to your children that you see yourself as a sexual being. It's just not something anyone wants to contemplate in their own parents.

I said she could put it where she likes even on her front door as far as I care....keep up. My issue is not with hanging it up it's feeling she has to go get enhanced photo's of herself to feel empowered in the first place.

😂 If the photo was hanging on a wreath on the front door, which I thought was quite funny.

That's what I meant ha ha thank you!

There's spitefulness seeping through all these women kicking you down. Saying you're cringy, vain, tacky, silly, old fashioned.

I agree. Heaven forbid that a mother should present herself as anything other than a mother, even if it's only to herself in her own bedroom.

I suspect some of the pps on here keep themselves shrouded in baggy Toast dresses at all times like a good asexual mother supposedly should.

You don't get to have an issue with it, it's not your body or your home.

It's going in the bedroom so your wreath thing is pointless.

You must be desperately insecure and jealous for this level of hate to the OP.

Originating in strip clubs does not mean something isn't a legitimate dance form. Pole is literally a dance form, and one that in its modern variations takes considerable strength, flexibility and skill on par with any other traditional and aerial dance form. If you think all pole is "writhing" you clearly haven't watched many pole performances and therefore quite frankly do not know what you are talking about. You just feel justified to disapprove of something because it was created by sex workers.

Apparently they never wear makeup, never pose for a picture, never do their hair, never wear nice clothes...

No, I actually feel quite sorry for her.

I don't see the big deal. It might open a dialogue about safe sex etc with her and her friends as they get older.

Glad you finally agree 😁

Hurts to be wrong when you're desperate to shame a sport out of ignorance, huh?

You'll do your nut in when you find out that the majority of pole performances don't take place in men's clubs and the gymnasts are usually barefoot.

Is this a campaign against high heels? You might do better to take it to M&S.

Yeah you're definitely going to chat with your mates about safe sex cos you saw your ma/your friends ma's half naked cringy blurry "boudoir" sex pictures hanging up in the house.

Sounds legit.

No teenager wants to see their mum in her pants. They just don't, and having friends round who can see it would be utterly mortifying.

Just put it somewhere where it's not easily visible. Job done.

Especially if some of her friends are boys. Teenage boys might say crude things and take the piss especially in front of their mates.

I think using your sexuality as a public selling point, particularly with the help of a lot of augmentation, is not empowering

Public selling point? It's a private shoot with photos in private spaces for self expression. Who's the market?

But I do think forcing your children to contemplate pictures of yourself in slightly coquettish poses in their home (and in front of their peers) is a different matter

And yet you, and many other posters, can't get to this matter unless you precede it with lengthy paragraphs about how terrible it is to do a shoot at all and completely misrepresenting what it does.

OP could keep the photos wrapped in tissue paper in her dresser and she'll still get 90% of the crap she's getting, because people are deeply offended and angered by boudoir photography, no matter how private. The kid is a fig leaf.

Why should everything revolve around what the DD might or might not want? Mothers are entitled to have a separate self and identity.

Of course they are. They arent entitled to force children and their friends to look at it though.
Putting up pics of yourself in underwear for others to see is fetishisation, not empowerment.

...because that's how the question was framed?

Of course mothers - women - can have a separate self and identity. That's not under question, but the fact is that hanging them where your kids can see them - and their friends - is going to make them feel uncomfortable when you can just put them somewhere a bit less visible and everyone is therefore happy.

I mean, imagine being a 13 year old, going round a friends house and seeing a picture like that. It'll be fucking weird.

Well then feel absoloutly free to stay home and not come to my house. My house where I live isn't designed for you but my friends have seen me in my underwear loads... we all use to live in a big shared house and get dressed for nights out together.

To be honest not even friends but builders, health visitors, gas inspectors etc... I don't even think anyone has greatly noticed as its in a combi frame with 6 other photos of my kids.

I am in no way embarrassed or uncomfortable by my pregnant belly or think it needs 'hiding' in the bedroom, what a sad view point of something so beautiful.

Oddly despite my confidence in photo I don't like bareness in reality as I feel super 'on display'. I would never walk around in shorts/skirts without tights in front of people but I have seen SO many people this summer walking around in both public and in their house in short shorts and crop tops. I would however never think to go to someones house and say 'go put proper clothes on if you are going to have guests and keep your bareness to the bedroom'.