To display a boudoir photograph with a child in the home?

[Notgoingononlyfansyet]

I ‘won’ one of those boudoir shoots and bought some pictures. It was just a bit of a fun, but the pictures are AMAZING. They honestly make me feel capable of anything and really brought home to me that everyday me isn’t all I can be. That with a little extra expertise and resource I can do something very, very different. It’s such a great concept to get my head around and apply in general. (Also, I look smoking hot and who doesn’t love that?!)

I really want to display some of the pictures. They aren’t tacky or sleazy. I’m wearing more that I was on the beach last month. Full Bra, brazillian pants, and a jacket in some shots. No stockings, thongs or bondage type undies. No handcuffs, but some hobby props (a hat and a book. Some pearls) She sees me naked all the time (but I respect her privacy however she prefers and I don’t brazenly wander about naked. We have dogs that open doors, it’s unavoidable, not deliberate or overtly liberal. She locks the bathroom, but will happily yell for me to get her a towel etc. All no big deal in an all girl household) But the pics are overtly sensual. I don’t have a partner and her father is permanently out of the picture for over than a decade. I do sometimes date and she knows about that in age appropriate detail.

My biggest concern is that she will connect it with my dating (which is fairly new and not unconnected in that both are because I feel more sexy than I have for years) but it’s not that dating leads to needing to change to be attractive for dates. It’s feeling more attractive and exploring that through dating AND how I present myself now I have a bit more freedom from lone parenting. How much do I share?! Is it creepy? Is it tacky, even though the pic itself isn’t? Or is it empowering and celebrating myself? (I could have one without my face in and make put it’s not me, but that seems even weirder!)

I’m not going to hang it in the sitting room, but she’ll see it often in my room. So will her friends as they come in and out of her room, because the only blank wall faces the door and our dogs open the door. We’ll have to have at least a chat about not telling my mother/all the neighbours/the greengrocer’s cat about it, what to say to her friends and not to let them photograph it! I just don’t think she’ll get it. I wouldn’t have got it at her age. (I wouldn’t have got it 12 months ago!). Is it unreasonable to expect her to get it with the right framing or should I wait? Until
when?!

All views welcome, but be polite! (Apologies for length, I’m thinking out loud)

YABU. This is wholly inappropriate.

And it doesn’t tell you anything about you no matter how much you go on about it.

To me it feels a bit of a shame that you would put 'looking sexy" in the same category as climbing Kilimanjaro! Surely the nice photos of you are someone else's achievement - ie the photographer? It sounds like you have genuinely achieved a lot of amazing things in your life, I just wonder why this photo feels like such a big achievement to you after all the things you have actually done yourself?

Do men get boudoir photos done? It's not something I am familiar with (and I don't really want to Google).

I honestly think some of these replies need to get a grip. It is a sensual photo of you that makes you feel good and makes you feel empowered hung in the privacy of your own bedroom. Just shut your door. If your kid has a problem with it they shouldn't be in your bedroom. If the dog pushes it open then the dog pushes it open it's still your room

100% your kid won't be scared for life because you have an image in your room that you feel body confident in.

The entire point of the thread is that the OP is so blown away by how different from normal she looks!

Each and every one of us would look equally amazing - no need for any jealousy.

The point is, to many people, boudoir photos are just funny, and anyone who take them seriously is also (very) funny.

And what if a friend of the child takes a photo and posts it on line? Which of course they shouldn't but it takes seconds and it happens and then there's no going back.

They also don't need to call a woman nasty, vile names on the internet. What sort of self worthy person does that? People on here can make an argument or a point without name calling.

Thats fare more tasteless than hanging a picture with high waste briefs and some pearls in a bedroom.

Completely agree.

Those type photos are utterly cringe! Please don't.

Your teenage DD seeing images of you posed sexually isn't the best message to give her. It might be empowering to you, but damaging to her. Women are more than sexual objects; surely you can see that.

I had a former colleague that did a boudoir shoot a year or two ago, but didn't hold back at all with the posing. Soft focus lens, on her back, legs apart on a chair, full cleavage. How do I know this? She posted every image on Facebook.

OP: I beg you, please don't post these images to Facebook. Once posted there, you lose control over them. Colleagues, superiors, friends, family, their pets, and then anyone who they care to show gets to see them and, perhaps, 😳 over them. Keep them in a little album for yourself.

Thanks for that.

It's happening on this thread too.

Tacky
Naff
You're wrong OP, it's not empowering

(Wish I had time to go back and find more)

One of the responses on my thread asked if I had "Live, Laugh, Love" in large letters on my front room wall. 🤷

@Notgoingononlyfansyet hasn't asked for people's opinions on boudoir shoots, nor asked to be told how it made her feel.

She's asked if it's appropriate to put up one of her shots in her bedroom with her daughter around.

A simple no would suffice if that's what you think. Instead, it's a character assassination by some nasty posters.

There are some horrible people on MN who have never learned that if you can't say anything kind, then say nothing at all. I for one wish they would learn.

Why is it that jealousy is the only justification ever permitted for women to disagree with one another? Could it be that they actually disagree for other reasons?

I genuinely do think displaying boudoir posters is breathtakingly tacky. It's the kind of thing you will never live down and you'll massively embarrass your children. I wouldn't let an enemy do it to themself, let alone a friend.

Jesus. No child wants to see or should have to see "sensual" photographs of their parents. Yes, it's creepy and gross to show them to your child, let alone display them for them to see all the time.

This privacy you want should be private from your daughter too, not a private thing shared with your daughter. Again, creepy and boundary-crossing.

Honestly, what on earth.

It's fantastic that they've made you feel so good but for heaven sake if you must hang it, hang it inside your wardrobe or ideally somewhere more hidden where your daughter and her friends aren't likely to stumble across it.

You're letting your personal wants and pride override your better parenting instincts here.

I think it's tacky.

omg you’re way over thinking this op! I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Hang it wherever you like. I have nude line drawings in my dressing room and full nude photography (not of me, of a random model) in my bathroom. I love it. It’s absolutely not an issue DO IT

No. Just no. Not even in your bedroom. Thinking of all the hours I spend lying on my bed chatting, advising, revising chemistry etc with my daughter. Kids don't need to see this sort of stuff.

I'm sorry if that's harsh - I don't mean it as an attack on your character but I'm honestly flabbergasted and think you've lost sight of what I'm sure is your usual good sense here in a haze of - justified I'm sure - newly rediscovered self-confidence.

People you know in real life are unlikely to be as firmly honest with you as strangers on the internet, though, it's true.

Why is it that jealousy is the only justification ever permitted for women to disagree with one another? Could it be that they actually disagree for other reasons?

@Thepeopleversuswork

And why is it only woman who tell other women that they're tacky, being, silly, embarrassing, and all the other vile name calling on this thread?

It's gross. Some of the people on here should be ashamed of themselves. Get your point across sure. If you have to name call and insult whilst doing so, then you are tacky and tasteless yourself. (Not aimed at you per say, aimed at all the name callers on this thread.)

I definitely wouldn’t if there was anyway her friends could see it.

My friends mum had them in her front room and she was made fun of because of it.
Seeing someone’s mum in sexy underwear is of course going to come up in conversation.

I see nothing wrong with having photos in your own bedroom but not in this scenario.

Just have it in your drawer and look at it everyday to remind yourself how great you look.

Well that's for the OP to decide whether she cares about that possibility. I mean personally I wouldn't give a shit but maybe the OP would.

But like get a lock for the door so the dog doesn't push it open?

I mean I guess it's a risk a friend would do that but I honestly doubt a friend is going to do that really based on fleeting glance at a photo on the odd occasion the dog has pushed the door open as they walk back to a friend's room.

its a sensual photo. It's not porn. I honestly don't think the daughters friends will even care.

You'll always get bad pushback for this kind of thing, OP. MN hates anything "attention seeking", including private photos in your private home. It's beyond ridiculous. I'm glad you enjoyed the shoot and that it's given you what it's meant to.

However, if you don't want the pics being seen by kids then I can't see how it's a good idea hanging them somewhere where they're visible from anywhere kids might be, even if that is your bedroom. I have some pregnancy photos including a couple where I'm naked except for strategically placed rose garlands and petals. My husband and I love them but there simply isn't anywhere we can hang them where we can be sure only we will see them. So they're in a photobook which I keep in a drawer on my dressing table. I can go in and see them whenever I like. Kids know they're not allowed in there as it's private and if they ever intrude, they'll get what they deserve!

If I were you, I’d keep the photos in an album, one which you can look at when you think yo or when you need to be reminded of how ‘empowered’ this whole process made you feel but I absolutely wouldn’t display the photos anywhere my daughter might see them.
Seeing ‘sensual’ photos of your mum partially undressed and posing with gimmicky props is absolutely not something any kid needs to see, and displaying them where you know she might see them is, in my opinion, very weird.
Also, as has been mentioned, if she has friends over, and they see them, it could be really awful for you. Kids can be brutal!! Not to mention I’d be pretty unimpressed if my kid came back from their mates saying they’d seen sexy photos of their friends mum!

Consent and rights to privacy are really, REALLY important concepts for teens to learn
And if she doesn’t consent to seeing your semi naked photographs, you’ll happily not brazenly display it I assume otherwise that would be wildly hypocritical.

A family member has one of these on display in her room and it makes me cringe with embarrassment for her whenever I see it. she looks great in it but it’s so contrived. More empowering to accept and be comfortable with your reality? That would be better bahaviour modelling for your daughter.

It sounds like there are two issues here, the photo, and the privacy of your room. If your DD has only just started to sleep through, it sounds like your room was very much a shared space. It's fine to want some space for just you, but perhaps address that before you hang a picture that is intended for just you? So the two things aren't related.