Page 7 | Dating a man who is obsessed with his child

Honeybu · 2023-09-18T11:12:18+00:00

Everything revolves around his son who is 8 ok no problem I have kids and I’m the same, but when we go out or spending time together why constantly bring up topic related to your child? How are we going to know each? I’m getting fed up. Every conversation the child will come up and not just in passing it will take over our topic and continue

stclementine · 29/04/2025 21:15

LastHives · 18/09/2023 13:01

You can't tell a good father by how much he talks about them!

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No, not at all. I dated a man once for a very short time who had to turn every conversation onto what his kids were doing and how wonderful they were and what he was planning to do with them. As someone without children I found it tedious but gave him a chance. After the third date of him dominating the conversation with his fucking kids yet again, I called it quits.

I then found out through a mutual acquaintance that he saw his kids about once a month and had a track record of “auditioning “ new women to take on the parenting when he had them and so he could have them more often.

BownnTown · 29/04/2025 21:20

I’d have finished with him after the first date. He sounds boring as fuck. Nothing worse than a parent who’s entire personality is about being a parent

Ilovecleaning · 29/04/2025 21:20

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/04/2025 20:16

It’s to warn other people it’s a zombie so they don’t waste their time replying. Chill out.

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”Chill out” - another childish expression.

BownnTown · 29/04/2025 21:22

Who actually cares if it’s a “zombie” thread? If people want to carry it on let them!

Maitri108 · 29/04/2025 21:29

Honeybu · 18/09/2023 12:24

I think you misunderstood, I totally agree he is his world. But and a big but when we are on a date for few hours is it too much to ask to concentrate on us? What is this?

He obviously has few social skills. It's common courtesy to show an interest in the other person, especially if you're dating.

If he just monologues for hours I'd move on.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/04/2025 21:29

Ilovecleaning · 29/04/2025 21:20

”Chill out” - another childish expression.

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I was answering your question and said to chill out as you were rude and overly irritated by something that didn’t impact you. Clearly you just like being unpleasant, which is fair enough. Some like commenting on zombie threads, others appreciate the heads up as, like you said, it’s easy to miss the date, it’s just not a big deal either way is it.

Maitri108 · 29/04/2025 21:30

ZOMBIE

Fleur66 · 29/04/2025 21:35

You don’t deserve him, please leave him alone so he can find a good one.

SociableAtWork · 29/04/2025 22:43

Anyone talking constantly about their children gets boring really quickly. Fine to have a few minutes or so catching up on what you and your child/ren have been up to, exchange a few funny anecdotes but then it’s time to move on to grown up stuff (a colleague bangs on and on about her child, even talking in baby-talk with “and she said ‘me no want do dat, me feed ducky’” or some such tripe while we all cringe; it’s tiresome, and a date isn’t the right time).

He either doesn’t want to talk about the grown up things, has nothing to say about any of them (music, hobbies, interests, work, films, bucket lists etc) OR he’s over compensating with “I’m a great dad me”. It’d be interesting to know if his relationship with the mum broke down because he was always too busy for family stuff/parenting and he’s now trying to prove otherwise. My ex was like that - literally absent the whole time the kids were younger, until we split and he was suddenly father of the year, apparently.

Dating191 · 03/06/2025 04:32

I’ve been seeing a man whose daughter is his entire world and even if I spent the whole weekend with him (once a month or maybe twice if I’m lucky) I have to hear about how much he misses his 10-year-old daughter and makes it sound like two days with me while he has her The rest of the month is too much for him to bear. (Eyeroll) he has full custody and is always with her It’s fucking pathetic. He’s a great dad—-yeah, I get it but these parents that treat children like gods and expect the new partner to be a part of the fan club devoted to a child he had with another woman really need to grow up. It’s one thing to be supportive, which I am (i clean help with homework and even buy her clothes) but when you constantly have to hear that the child is number one and the most important thing and the most loved blah blah blah after a while it makes you roll your eyes like yes we know we get it next subject, please or maybe God forbid talk about the relationship for a second or what came after the child after reminding the new partner that the child is number one and every conversation. I think people like this need to date other people with kids to what it feels like to be a third wheel to somebody and their kid 24 seven no matter how much you help out or how patient you are. Please know there are men out there who can balance a partner and a child much better. Without acting like a child is an act of God and royalty 24-7. It also gives children an abnormally unchecked ego when daddy worships them and drops to his knees anytime the child wants something while the partner always has to wait. Sorry that’s not a green flag that somebody who can’t prioritize. Not to mention the immense satisfaction the other woman gets knowing her child pretty much owns and controls your new man.

LogicalBlodge · 03/06/2025 04:36

What happens when you steer the convo onto a different topic?

Lovemusic82 · 04/06/2025 18:54

Dating191 · 03/06/2025 04:32

I’ve been seeing a man whose daughter is his entire world and even if I spent the whole weekend with him (once a month or maybe twice if I’m lucky) I have to hear about how much he misses his 10-year-old daughter and makes it sound like two days with me while he has her The rest of the month is too much for him to bear. (Eyeroll) he has full custody and is always with her It’s fucking pathetic. He’s a great dad—-yeah, I get it but these parents that treat children like gods and expect the new partner to be a part of the fan club devoted to a child he had with another woman really need to grow up. It’s one thing to be supportive, which I am (i clean help with homework and even buy her clothes) but when you constantly have to hear that the child is number one and the most important thing and the most loved blah blah blah after a while it makes you roll your eyes like yes we know we get it next subject, please or maybe God forbid talk about the relationship for a second or what came after the child after reminding the new partner that the child is number one and every conversation. I think people like this need to date other people with kids to what it feels like to be a third wheel to somebody and their kid 24 seven no matter how much you help out or how patient you are. Please know there are men out there who can balance a partner and a child much better. Without acting like a child is an act of God and royalty 24-7. It also gives children an abnormally unchecked ego when daddy worships them and drops to his knees anytime the child wants something while the partner always has to wait. Sorry that’s not a green flag that somebody who can’t prioritize. Not to mention the immense satisfaction the other woman gets knowing her child pretty much owns and controls your new man.

Run 😬

I’ve just left someone for the same reason and I feel a huge relief. I felt like I was just there to fill in any time he wasn’t with his DD’s, always felt like I wasn’t good enough because all he spoke about was them and how amazing they are, how he couldn’t wait to see them etc….etc….

it’s not normal, it’s OTT and almost obsessive.

teabycandlelight · 04/06/2025 21:00

Lovemusic82 · 04/06/2025 18:54

Run 😬

I’ve just left someone for the same reason and I feel a huge relief. I felt like I was just there to fill in any time he wasn’t with his DD’s, always felt like I wasn’t good enough because all he spoke about was them and how amazing they are, how he couldn’t wait to see them etc….etc….

it’s not normal, it’s OTT and almost obsessive.

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I also think that a lot of the time it’s performative bullshit.

went out with a guy who was always going on about his how his DD was his world … and I just thought, isn’t that what most parents think?

who is genuinely going to say ‘my kids aren’t really my priority’ ?

it’s really all about telling people how they are amazing fathers.

I also think it’s used as a way of negging. By saying you will also be second place in my affection to make women feel insecure.

I have kids. And a new partner. It goes without saying that my DC are my priority, but I’ve never said that to my partner ( and he hasn’t about his kids). My relationship is also very important to me, and to be honest, it’s rare you really have to make a decision between the two.

Original poster

Honeybu · 05/06/2025 22:00

Dating191 · 03/06/2025 04:32

I’ve been seeing a man whose daughter is his entire world and even if I spent the whole weekend with him (once a month or maybe twice if I’m lucky) I have to hear about how much he misses his 10-year-old daughter and makes it sound like two days with me while he has her The rest of the month is too much for him to bear. (Eyeroll) he has full custody and is always with her It’s fucking pathetic. He’s a great dad—-yeah, I get it but these parents that treat children like gods and expect the new partner to be a part of the fan club devoted to a child he had with another woman really need to grow up. It’s one thing to be supportive, which I am (i clean help with homework and even buy her clothes) but when you constantly have to hear that the child is number one and the most important thing and the most loved blah blah blah after a while it makes you roll your eyes like yes we know we get it next subject, please or maybe God forbid talk about the relationship for a second or what came after the child after reminding the new partner that the child is number one and every conversation. I think people like this need to date other people with kids to what it feels like to be a third wheel to somebody and their kid 24 seven no matter how much you help out or how patient you are. Please know there are men out there who can balance a partner and a child much better. Without acting like a child is an act of God and royalty 24-7. It also gives children an abnormally unchecked ego when daddy worships them and drops to his knees anytime the child wants something while the partner always has to wait. Sorry that’s not a green flag that somebody who can’t prioritize. Not to mention the immense satisfaction the other woman gets knowing her child pretty much owns and controls your new man.

Run. .. what are getting from this relationship?

OP posts:

CanadaNotAMum · 05/06/2025 23:31

Moonlightdust · 18/09/2023 13:16

I suggest you walk away OP. His child will come first. As it should be.

His child coming first is one thing, but it seems like there is no second or third. Does he really have nothing else that interests him? Also, talking about his child isn’t the same as putting the child first. Just because he’s using his kid as conversation fodder on a date that he willingly chose to go on doesn’t have any bearing on what kind of parent he is.

CanadaNotAMum · 05/06/2025 23:39

Fleur66 · 29/04/2025 21:35

You don’t deserve him, please leave him alone so he can find a good one.

What a judgey think to say. You don’t know anything about this guy, certainly you don’t know that he’s better than OP in any way. All any of us knows is that he goes on dates and talks about his child. He might be a great guy, or me might be a deadbeat who talks about his child when he goes in multiple dates a week, but is a Disneyland dad at best. Who knows? Why would you automatically put him on such a pedestal? Is the bar so low for men that just having one talk about his child means that he’s an A+ parent?