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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off?

226 replies

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 05:55

My uncle sold a cartier watch to my dad about 20 years ago for 2 grand, about 6 months before dad passed away he asked my brother to sell it on his behalf as dad was going blind and couldn't see the time anymore, gave me and my brother £500 as a gift. When dad was dying nobody on his side of the family made any effort or when he passed asked if there would be a funeral, nobody messaged me after, I haven't seen my uncle in 17 years and I get this message from my cousin I haven't even seen since she was about 2 before I go to work. Dad never promised the watch to him he was always talking about getting it back. Am I being unreasonable to tell her to fuck off?

To tell her to fuck off?
OP posts:
Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 10:55

It was spoken over the years about him buying the watch and it wasn't that dad couldn't be bothered my uncle lives in new Zealand, he never came over to visit or anything. Its like when people say they will do something but it never happens. She's claiming now that her dad was talking to my dad right up until his death.. well that's utter bollocks because my uncles phone line was disconnected and we had no forwarding number. When dad was on end of life I had to put a post on Facebook to try and get hold of him and his ex partner gave me his mobile number

OP posts:
GoryBory · 18/09/2023 10:59

Well done you OP!

You have made it very clear about the facts and how disappointed you are but you’ve kept your dignity and been firm but polite.
You couldn’t have sent a better message.

You didn’t mention (unless I missed it) that your dad had no number for your uncle and he tried contacting him and that he obviously didn’t bother contacting your dad for quite a while - this shows exactly what he’s like even more so!

I thought they were CFs before but the fact that the watch was sold so many years previously and your dad couldn’t even get in touch with him, speaks volumes.

Moral of the story - don’t get rid of something and then ask for it back.

TheSandgroper · 18/09/2023 11:00

@thecatsarecrazy You might just want to go through your posts and remove identifying names.

GoryBory · 18/09/2023 11:01

When did your dad die OP?

I would find out who your brother sold the watch to, give them the details and then tell them not to speak to you about it again.

I do not think it’s fair that they are dragging you into something that you had nothing to do with and the bloody watch has gone.
They need to just drop it.

Unicorn2022 · 18/09/2023 11:21

It's a shame your brother didn't give your uncle the opportunity to buy the watch back before selling it privately. If your uncle had mentioned buying it back several times over the years then he obviously did regret selling it and wanted to own it again. But nothing can be done about it now.

Muu · 18/09/2023 11:21

Well done op. Your uncle sounds a bit desperate.

the decent thing would be for them to back off.

ehupo7 · 18/09/2023 11:34

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Good message OP

Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:40

GoryBory · 18/09/2023 11:01

When did your dad die OP?

I would find out who your brother sold the watch to, give them the details and then tell them not to speak to you about it again.

I do not think it’s fair that they are dragging you into something that you had nothing to do with and the bloody watch has gone.
They need to just drop it.

My dad died in Dec 2021

OP posts:
Original poster
thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

OP posts:
nauticant · 18/09/2023 11:50

It's a shame your brother didn't give your uncle the opportunity to buy the watch back before selling it privately.

From what the OP has written, it seems unlikely that the uncle would have had the financial means to buy the watch for a market price.

Everanewbie · 18/09/2023 11:50

I'd leave out the bit about where the money went after the sale. Its none of their business and they have no right or need to know. You have nothing to justify or explain beyond telling CF that the watch was sold at his request.

Everanewbie · 18/09/2023 11:53

nauticant · 18/09/2023 11:50

It's a shame your brother didn't give your uncle the opportunity to buy the watch back before selling it privately.

From what the OP has written, it seems unlikely that the uncle would have had the financial means to buy the watch for a market price.

Indeed. £2,000 20 years ago is, what, £10k in todays prices? Reckon he'd have those funds and agree that price?

Redlarge · 18/09/2023 11:55

Dont give her your number. You need to ignore this completely. The watch has gone. End of discussion.

readsalotgirl63 · 18/09/2023 12:03

Id respond factually saying Uncle sold dad the watch in 19??. Dad instructed that the watch be sold prior to his death and so it was sold in early 2021. You ahve no idea to whom it was sold and will not discuss further as you find this disrespectful and upsetting, And then block all of them as they are deranged.

I did have an aunt with form for this sort of thing - she'd give you something( second hand skirts) and then a year later ask for them back. Nowt as queer as folk.

tigger1001 · 18/09/2023 12:08

I think you just now need to stop responding. She is likely feeding off the drama she is creating. Maybe just one last reply saying - Watch was sold before dad died. I won't be responding to any further messages about it. Then ignore.

Confusedmeanderings · 18/09/2023 12:15

They sound nuts! You are not losing anything if you cut them out of your life so I would do that!

WowOK · 18/09/2023 12:17

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

You haven't argued but you will argue if they continue to throw shade on your brother who ultimately has done nothing wrong. Honestly, I'd block them all. Fucking scavengers.

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 12:20

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 11:45

I have no idea who bought the watch or even how it was sold, I just got a message one day from my brother asking for my bank details.. dad wants you to have £500 I sold his watch for him. I mean at the end of the day it's a watch, yeah cartier watches are a bit pricey but a 25 plus year old second hand one still isn't a fortune, even if dad hadn't sold it and was part of the estate what right do they have to lay claim to it? Her mother has started now telling me not to argue with her. I said I haven't argued with anyone.

Sounds like the entire family is scummy.

Ignore them OP. I'd also delete them on Facebook and delete block and delete their phone numbers.

MaybeSmaller · 18/09/2023 12:26

I'm reading between the lines a backstory where the uncle tried to buy the watch back off your dad and ultimately your brother for well below market value over the years, but was rightly given short shrift.

The uncle and cousin sound like complete wastes of space and CFs and you shouldn't waste any time on them.

I mean, your dad passes away and their first thought is about some watch?! How disrespectful and grasping.

If I communicated with them at all it would be along the lines of:

Hi Cousin, nice to hear from you after (10/20/30) years. Sorry, the watch is gone, it was my Dad's to sell and it was sold in line with his wishes. If Uncle wants a similar watch, I'm sure he can find one on (Ebay/name of site where naice watches are sold).

clpsmum · 18/09/2023 12:26

thecatsarecrazy · 18/09/2023 06:14

I've given her my phone number and said I'm not talking about it on here but you are free to call me, I was going to say to her are u under the impression you're dad gave it to my dad or something. Calling my brother out is uncalled for he sold it on behalf of my dad, fuck knows who it was sold to all done online I think. My uncle was on good money years ago and bought the watch with a Christmas bonus, he has since lost everything and is living in a wooden hut type home, says it all really

Either block her or tell her it was sold to your dad many years ago and her dad has no right to it and then block

CherryMaDeara · 18/09/2023 12:27

MaybeSmaller · 18/09/2023 12:26

I'm reading between the lines a backstory where the uncle tried to buy the watch back off your dad and ultimately your brother for well below market value over the years, but was rightly given short shrift.

The uncle and cousin sound like complete wastes of space and CFs and you shouldn't waste any time on them.

I mean, your dad passes away and their first thought is about some watch?! How disrespectful and grasping.

If I communicated with them at all it would be along the lines of:

Hi Cousin, nice to hear from you after (10/20/30) years. Sorry, the watch is gone, it was my Dad's to sell and it was sold in line with his wishes. If Uncle wants a similar watch, I'm sure he can find one on (Ebay/name of site where naice watches are sold).

Edited

Also, I don't think it's a coincidence that OP's dad the watch sold 8 months before his death.

He knew his brother would have hounded his kids for the watch.

clpsmum · 18/09/2023 12:40

MaybeSmaller · 18/09/2023 12:26

I'm reading between the lines a backstory where the uncle tried to buy the watch back off your dad and ultimately your brother for well below market value over the years, but was rightly given short shrift.

The uncle and cousin sound like complete wastes of space and CFs and you shouldn't waste any time on them.

I mean, your dad passes away and their first thought is about some watch?! How disrespectful and grasping.

If I communicated with them at all it would be along the lines of:

Hi Cousin, nice to hear from you after (10/20/30) years. Sorry, the watch is gone, it was my Dad's to sell and it was sold in line with his wishes. If Uncle wants a similar watch, I'm sure he can find one on (Ebay/name of site where naice watches are sold).

Edited

Perfect response

Unicorn2022 · 18/09/2023 14:19

nauticant · 18/09/2023 11:50

It's a shame your brother didn't give your uncle the opportunity to buy the watch back before selling it privately.

From what the OP has written, it seems unlikely that the uncle would have had the financial means to buy the watch for a market price.

Probably not, but it would have been kind to give him the opportunity. The OP said she and her brother received £500 each from the sale of the watch, but I'm not sure if that means their dad also kept some of the proceeds or the brother actually sold the watch for £1k.

Unicorn2022 · 18/09/2023 14:21

Anyway sorry for your loss OP and hopefully you won't hear from them again now they know the watch has gone.

NumberTheory · 18/09/2023 14:44

Everanewbie · 18/09/2023 11:53

Indeed. £2,000 20 years ago is, what, £10k in todays prices? Reckon he'd have those funds and agree that price?

Show quote history

£2,000 in 2003 was about £3,000 in 2021, when OP’s dad died. And the man has flown from NZ to the UK this year so must have some access to funds or that sort of size.

But it was OP’s dad’s choice to do as he pleased with it, which he did.

The lack of offer to the uncle may have been on direct instruction from the dad (possibly due to Maybesmaller’s scenario) or it may have been a complete oversight. It doesn’t make the nasty messaging from the cousin any more appropriate.