To think women who constantly say on social media they love being single don’t actually mean it

[TitusMoan]

… and often run off with the first man who asks them out?

There’s too much protesting with some people.

Anyone who says anything all the time on SM doesn't mean it.

The women who are all "I love my hubby so much, <tags him> best man eva, luv you babe, my world!"....we all know he's had three affairs and she barely speaks to him when they;re home alone.

the "I'm a mental health advocate, I'm posting this (cut and pastes jobbie) to promote awareness of people struggling, I'm always here to talk, I won't judge" is the gossipy mare who would tell your secrets before the door hit you in the arse on your way out, judhing the whole way!

People always protest too much

If someone is gushing about their partner who lives with them, that is totally unnecessary. You could just tell them. It's clearly performative (I've done it myself in the past). It's a leap to assume their dysfunctional but we all know things aren't as perfect as people make out. You have arguments, they irritate you.

Someone saying how amazing it is to be single and how they would never want a relationship may be being honest. Or they may be putting on a front. I don't really see why anyone cares though it is a bit cringe to go on and on.

I definitely agree with this.

People's social media have become this prism for judgement. You're allowed to judge every aspect of what people post about themselves with a level of scrutiny and unpleasantness which wouldn't be tolerated IRL.

Post about your relationship -- you're in denial and your husband is shagging someone else
Say that you enjoy being single -- you're crying yourself to sleep at night
Post a selfie -- you're a narcissist
Post any pictures of your kids -- you're probably neglecting them and social services need to be contacted
Pictures of social events -- you're either an alcoholic or you have no real friends and are over-compensating
Anything political -- you're a virtue signaller

etc etc.
The only posts now deemed acceptable are charity fun runs/bake sales.

It's become so moralistic and tedious.

I think the ones who appreciate it most are probably the ones who've already had long relationships and can see the downsides of that too in many cases

I’m glad I’ve always been far too self-conscious to post any life updates on sm. I’d cringe myself inside out if I was forced to post something about being a ‘strong single female’ or ‘feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have bagged this guy’.

There’s a lot to be said for being emotionally repressed.

Indeed. Mega cringe. Just go to the next room and tell your partner you love them in person.

Sorry, I judge.

Yes, I do agree with this. Anybody that keeps blathering on and on about something, whether it's 'I'm soooo happy single men are all scumbags having children is shit,' or 'I wubz my lovely man so much. He's so amazing. We are da power couple!' it is pretty much always a case of 'The Lady Doth Protest Too Much.'

I just think the more and more people go on about something, the more they're desperately, desperately trying to convince themselves and everybody else of it.

I know a woman at the moment. and I've known her for about 10 years. (aged 40-ish.) Been married to her husband for 12 years. (Couple of kids still at home.) She has never posted much on Facebook. (I've had her on my Facebook friends for about 6-7 years now.) Maybe once or twice a month she will post about 5 or 6 pics of her kids/her and her kids. Occasionally, maybe once every 3 or 4 months there will be one of her DH and the kids in the garden playing footie.

All of a sudden this last 3 or 4 months, she has gone overboard. They seem to be doing so many things together, going on little day trips, going on bike rides, going for little pub lunches at the Carvery, going for long walks etc. Pics of them loved up and cuddling and snuggling, with #myman #loveuforever #dreamcouple etc... 'And he's just done up an old car on their drive - and she's posted pictures of it and is saying 'I'm so proud of my amazing lovely clever brilliant husband doing this!'

He has painted up and old banger ford escort, and yet she's acting like he's saved someone's life or something ... Very, very strange ... It's speaking volumes to me, that he's had an affair and they're trying to work through it. OR, he's having an affair now and she's desperately trying to make him choose her, and is saying 'this is my man my manmy man!' all over facebook. (Could even be that she had an affair, but IMO it's more likely to be him.) But yep, something is 'off' for sure.

Never in 7 years of having her as a friend on facebook have I ever seen her do this. Only this past 3 or 4 months.

@Strictlyslender99 yes some have emotional incontinence on social media!!

😂 this really had me chuckling

@SweetBirdsong I fear you are very correct

That did make me laugh!

I think it's really 'so glad and happy to be single in comparison with the majority of relationships and men on offer out there'
I would rather be single than go out with a draining or lazy man which according to MN a lot of them are!
I would ideally like a unicorn of a man to be in a wonderful secure fulfilling relationship with me, but compared to the real life relationships I've had recently I'm happy to be single. But I don't ever post about this on social media! Maybe those that do have either just recently started enjoying their single life, or it's just part of their brand.

Very good point

Ive been single for almost 20 years. Rarely tell anyone Im single. Perfectly happy. I wouldnt mind a companion (friendship, hugs, support) but not particularly interested in a relationship as such.

@SweetBirdsong that's very interesting keep us updated!

I think someone young and pretty is sniffing around him at work and she's suspicious rather than a confirmed affair

I'm single . Don't particularly post about it - just how it is

That said I find it interesting that those who plaster their amazing happy family lives all over social
Media often aren't being totally honest

One friend posts all the time , her life looks perfect . Amazing good looking successful husband, 2 kids

And behind the scenes her dh is a sexual deviant who keeps creating accounts on sex apps pretending to bee her and arranging hook ups for his wife without telling her and then being surprised when she sleeps on the sofa .
They haven't slept together in about 10 years.

So I'm single , but I do smile at this type of post op . At least I know where I stand .

I’m currently enjoying being single after an abusive relationship, I feel really at peace and happy with life.

However the loneliness has started to creep in more and more recently (it’s been three years) and I’m thinking I might start to get back out there and try dating again after Christmas.

I love being single, I have been for a decade now. I don't go on about it though, and certainly not on SM. I get annoyed with people looking at me pitifully and asking if I've found somebody yet. As a lone parent to a SN child, I couldn't date even if I wanted to. However, that ship has long sailed for me and I like my life as it is. Why is that so difficult for people to accept?

So all single people are whores who would sleep with the first person who asked them out?! Wow that's a gigantic chip on your shoulder there love!

I've been single 8 years and love it! I became single under tragic circumstances but despite that obviously wishing that hadn't happened (DH's unexpected death), I'm genuinely happy on my own and have no desire to dare anyone!

There are no relationships in my life that I am envious of. Far from it.
I stand by what I say though, views haven't changed on single women at all no matter what anyone says. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told by colleagues that I should get myself on dating sites and get myself out there. Despite having no interest. I also get the pitying looks etc.
I just find it depressing that in 2023, these views still exist, that you simply cannot be happy or fulfilled in life without a man.

It’s not absolutes but when I see some people declaring on social media how happy they are single, married, etc, I take it all with a pinch of salt. Many times people who are happy single or married are not the ones making noise about it.

I will. As you say, it could be that she is worried that another woman is after him. (Or he is interested in another woman!) But something is definitely 'off' about it all. As many people have said, the more people parp on about how deliriously happy they are, the more likely that there are problems. (And/or they are NOT happy at all, and are trying to convince everyone they are!)

To start, I’m not one of those who gush on fb about anything but I post the occasional meme.
I think that’s fair considering the amount of people who’ve told mw “you’ll find someone one day” over the year, no matter how much I’ve told them im
nog looking or wanted someone else.
I’ve been married twice in two different t countries, I have three children, I’ve done my family thing , I don’t think I will ever want another man, the thought of having to have penetrative sex again repulses me and the thought of having another person here daily doesn’t interest me at all. I like the peace of single life .

and as someone above me said I’m bored of women thinking I’m gonna steal their men, trust me they are NOT attractive with their balding grads and unfit bodies…

I think you’re conflicting happily single and having a sex life op. You can have both, doesn’t mean you’re just ‘running off’ with the first person that shows interest. I’m very happy being single, though I don’t go on about it on social media. I still have my ex on FB and we’re amicable enough, I think it would be a bit rude to bleat on about ‘living my best life’ without him (I am for the most part though). I’ve also been enjoying my freedom elsewhere in my free time, again not his nor anyone’s business but it doesn’t impact at all on my singleness, I (currently) have zero want or need for a relationship.

Social media, including Mumsnet is nothing more than like standing in a room with a megaphone declaring your thoughts. If that’s what you feel the need to do, crack on. Most people just carry on however they please without the need for loud validation.