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Original poster

To think women who constantly say on social media they love being single don’t actually mean it

153 replies

TitusMoan · 17/09/2023 15:38

… and often run off with the first man who asks them out?

There’s too much protesting with some people.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 17/09/2023 15:39

I don't know anyone who does this.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 17/09/2023 15:43

I don’t necessarily disagree as I do know one women who posts an endless succession of memes about how glad she is to be single. Knowing her in real life, I know she’s absolutely desperate for a relationship.

That said, I wouldn’t at all support the idea that all women who say they’re happy single are secretly lonely and desperate.

BananaSlug · 17/09/2023 15:44

See it on MN constantly as well tbf

DorisTheRidgeback · 17/09/2023 15:45

I agree.

Then when it all goes wrong they pop back up with “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” or something similar, followed by a quote about being a “strong woman”, usually accompanied by a photo of a wolf.

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 15:45

Nothing on social media is to be trusted really. Everyone pretends to be happier or more interesting than they are.

PerfectMatch · 17/09/2023 15:45

Maybe but I also don't believe the people who say they're madly in love with their partner. They're usually the ones who split up!

ValkyrieAssassin · 17/09/2023 15:46

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 15:45

Nothing on social media is to be trusted really. Everyone pretends to be happier or more interesting than they are.

100%.

Once I learned that I became happier and less envious of others.

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 15:48

Maybe but I also don't believe the people who say they're madly in love with their partner. They're usually the ones who split up!

Yeah the #blessed #making memories type of posts have a slight whiff of BS about them as well. It’s just how a lot of social media is.

NewName122 · 17/09/2023 15:48

I agree but only because this is literally my friend. Then she crys after a few drinks that she's lonely and wants a man.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 17/09/2023 15:51

Are any of the OPs so far single? I single and love certain things about it but still get a bit lonely sometimes.

But I definitely believe a lot of the posters on here who, when to question is asked, say they absolutely love it and have no intention of giving it up. They give lots of compelling reasons to back up why they love it too. Once you are genuinely content being single, it feels too precious to give it up.

That said if we are taking about someone who is constantly posting on insta saying how much they love it for all to see, then maybe that's not how some of them really feel.

But as we know, there are million happy family, happy couples etc who post on insta etc gushing about how happy they are that are absolutely not reflective of real life at all, so it's certainly not just a single person's thing if they aren't being truthful.

ghostyslovesheets · 17/09/2023 15:52

BananaSlug · 17/09/2023 15:44

See it on MN constantly as well tbf

I post on thread about being happy and single because I am - 14 years and counting - genuinely happy - if I wasn't I'd be trying to find a man - I'm not I'm comfortable being single, I have a career, 3 great kids, good friends and freedom.

Some people can actually BE single and happy.

Boohooz · 17/09/2023 15:52

In fairness for every single woman who does this, there’s an attached woman doing the “I married my favourite person” shit and banging on about being spoilt on her birthday. Social media is a form of PR for many people.

AnneVeronica · 17/09/2023 15:52

You're being goady, OP. Run along now.

lapsedbookworm · 17/09/2023 15:53

Some will, some won't. I do know one on mine who went on and on about how glad she was to be single til she met a man, then on and on about how loved up she was but so glad she didn't have children - then had 4! But who knows, maybe it was defensiveness, maybe she just likes to go on about the positives of her life .

Bouncyball23 · 17/09/2023 15:53

I've been single for 6 years now while am happy being single I do think from time to time it would be good to have that one person to enjoy life with but I am not going out and looking for him if it happens it happens, and I certainly don't post anything on social media about it.

Dontcallmescarface · 17/09/2023 16:09

I have a friend who has been happily single for well over 15 years. She has been asked out a few times but always declines. She has absolutely no interest in having a relationship again.

SweetBirdsong · 17/09/2023 16:09

100% agree @TitusMoan I have even seen women posting threads with the title 'I absolutely bloody LOVE being single!' It's just odd, and feels a lot like they're trying to convince themselves (and everyone else tbh.) I just think 'good for you Julie, but why do you need to crow about on mumsnet? No-one cares!' Usually the louder and longer and more frequently someone goes on about something like this, the less I believe them. Same as the gushy 'I wubz U so much' couples on facebook. The more they crow, the less I believe their waffle.

I recently met a woman on a walk in a woodland 10 miles away, who seemed pleasant and cordial first of all, but she was twice married, and twice divorced, and had had the last man (who didn't marry her) leave after 7 years, for one of her workmates. (She was about 58.) She was also child free and dog obsessed. She walked around with me, and spent half the time bad mouthing men, like every single one was a rotten egg, said her brother has 2 teenage boys who are evil monsters, and her neighbour's cat is horrible and taunts her poor doggos all day.

I mentioned my DH a couple of times in passing and my (now grown) kids, and she didn't respond, just changed the subject, and started yabbering on about how much better life is with no man and no children. How she can come and go as she pleases (so can I) she can enjoy holidays (so can I, with just DH AND with the kids when they were younger,) she can have a lie in (so can I,) she can meet up with friends for coffee and meals (so can I,) she can hog the TV remote (so can I,) and she gets perfect sleep with no snoring man next to her (so can I as I have my own room.)

Again, the more shit she chatted, (about her wonderful, glowing single life, the more it sounded like she was trying to convince herself she was gloriously happy. If you are, you don't need to keep going on about it. Kinda seems like a case of the lady doth protest too much.

She wanted to swap numbers and meet up again for a walk, so I quickly switched off my phone when she was walking off ahead, and pretended the battery had died, and I couldn't remember my number. She wrote hers down and gave it to me. I don't think I'll be ringing her. Not coz she's single and child free, but the fact she wants to hear fuck-all about my DH and kids, and she hates men and hates children and hates cats!

She was also baffled as to why I don't have any dogs, and never have had. 'But they get you out walking and exercising' she said. I thought 'ummm Patricia, I can walk and exercise without the responsibility of a whiny, smelly, expensive-to-keep fucking DOG that is nothing but a massive tie!' I just said 'nah I still manage to walk a lot without a dog...'

Irksome woman! 😆

Picturethat · 17/09/2023 16:09

I'm on some female only social media groups for women with certain interests and there are literally thousands of very happy single women on them living life their way without men. It's very liberating being completely happy alone, even if you happen to meet someone, you know you'll still be happy alone if it doesn't work. I think the majority of women though do seem to want to be in a relationship, we're all different and that's ok Wink. If you think people are lying about it and it bothers you, unfollow.

Beezknees · 17/09/2023 16:10

What are you basing your assumptions on?

SweetBirdsong · 17/09/2023 16:12

@lapsedbookworm · Today 15:53

Some will, some won't. I do know one on mine who went on and on about how glad she was to be single til she met a man, then on and on about how loved up she was but so glad she didn't have children - then had 4! But who knows, maybe it was defensiveness, maybe she just likes to go on about the positives of her life .

100% this in spades! ^ I have known LOADS of women over the years - and men - who slate and berate being married, (with children) and mock and deride people who are. But then they get married and have kids themselves, and are totally loved up and obsessed with their wee rugrats! 😆 (AND their luvvly wubbly man (or woman!)

Definitely a defence mechanism when people carp on about being soooo happy single, and deride and berate marriage, and having children.

Beezknees · 17/09/2023 16:12

I mean, I am definitely happy single, but I don't post on social media about it. I'll reply to a thread on mumsnet if I see one though.

DinnaeFashYersel · 17/09/2023 16:13

Those who gush about their relationships are likely overcompensating.

HighFiveOoooooIFeelSoAlive · 17/09/2023 16:13

Agree this is just a social media thing. Don't take anything seriously on there (or here)! It's mainly bullshit

HighFiveOoooooIFeelSoAlive · 17/09/2023 16:14

Definitely agree re gushy couples too. They usually split up shortly after the spate of lovey posts ime

ilovesooty · 17/09/2023 16:15

I'm happy being single and I'm not interested in another relationship. I don't want to share my space or consider the needs of someone else. I don't shout about it on social media or start threads about it though.