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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think women who constantly say on social media they love being single don’t actually mean it

153 replies

TitusMoan · 17/09/2023 15:38

… and often run off with the first man who asks them out?

There’s too much protesting with some people.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 17/09/2023 16:15

DorisTheRidgeback · 17/09/2023 15:45

I agree.

Then when it all goes wrong they pop back up with “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” or something similar, followed by a quote about being a “strong woman”, usually accompanied by a photo of a wolf.

So well put and so true😆😆😆

Goateen · 17/09/2023 16:17

You'll be eaten alive with this one, but I agree.

I feel the same about older parents who claim they've done things the best by waiting and how wonderfully happy they are with every aspect of their life.

People who say their relationship is perfect and their DH would never do xyz.

So it's not just single people, but agreed.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2023 16:18

I'm also pleased for my friends who are in happy marriages and relationships.

I don't see the need to post snidey and belittling comments about other people's choices and situations.

instantick · 17/09/2023 16:20

im single and yes there are times when i think oh it would be nice but then i read all about men cheating on their wifes or girlfriends and i just would rather not be involved in the drama. i have 3 children am studying live alone and i wouldnt change it i have a casual partner if i have needs which id rather not as it puts me off that they have other casual partners sharing is not caring sometimes so yes ill post my single and happy quotes turn every man down and post wolf quotes about how strong i am because i know i can live life without a man. (because there all cheating pricks.....also im against marriage having to sign paper to show your love....cheeeseballs)

LolaSmiles · 17/09/2023 16:21

I don't like the idea that people who say they're happy single must be secretly pining for a relationship.

If someone shares that they're happy single, I'd take it at face value, just like I take at face value that someone has had a nice day with their family, loves their children, or had a nice weekend away with their partner.

If someone was always posting about being single but I knew offline they were desperate for a partner I'd think they were being false. I also think the same about couples who always gush about each other online are trying to present a certain image.

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 16:22

I don't see the need to post snidey and belittling comments about other people's choices and situations.

I would be surprised if the people making the 😆😆😆comment’s on this thread are particularly happy people if the idea of a woman being single and miserable actually amuses them.

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:24

I don't think the ones who go on and on about how much they love their husbands and their DC mean it either. They all doth protest too much...

Scruffington · 17/09/2023 16:27

Anyone who constantly posts anything on social media should have what they're claiming taken with a pinch of salt. Whether it's someone who's always claiming that they love being single, or someone who's always going on about how amazing their spouse is. Whenever someone who's been married say for 8 years or so, changes their profile pic to one from their wedding day I just know something is up.

That being said lots of people do enjoy being single and I've recently noticed a few catty threads on MN doubting this, as if it can't possibly true and these women are deluding themselves. I assume these come from people who've lived quite sheltered lives where anything that veers from marriage and 2.4 kids is to be pitied.

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:29

I have many friends who enjoy being single and child free. They don't post about it on social media though. They are just out enjoying life.

BonnyHonny · 17/09/2023 16:31

People talk shit on social media all the time.

It's not deep.

Divinespark · 17/09/2023 16:31

Yes agree and flip side is the happiest couple, I love him so much, all snuggles and look great on social media, but actually have the most toxic relationship, and this happens far more than 'happy ' singles 😂

Justdontforgethelegofrog · 17/09/2023 16:33

Strong disagree. I think we say it as so many women are stuck in shit relationships, just because they are scared to be single. I keep wanting to remind people that it's a.) not that bad and b.) much much much better than being in a terrible relationship.
I'm on holiday right now with a friend and the amount of couples around us who look utterly miserable. A lot of them seem to have nothing in common and constantly bicker. Yet I bet they're telling a different story on Instagram. Like the way I post things without posting that my holiday went straight on the credit card. We all hide things.

brightdayloomingdark · 17/09/2023 16:39

Goateen · 17/09/2023 16:17

You'll be eaten alive with this one, but I agree.

I feel the same about older parents who claim they've done things the best by waiting and how wonderfully happy they are with every aspect of their life.

People who say their relationship is perfect and their DH would never do xyz.

So it's not just single people, but agreed.

Yeah they are probably talking shite. I'm an older mum and it is rubbish. Especially envious of women my age who are getting their lives back as their kids grow up. Even more envious of the truly sensible who never had kids at all. That was almost me, goddamit!

Goateen · 17/09/2023 16:43

Even more envious of the truly sensible who never had kids at all.

The only show off that I believe are the child free🫢😂

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:45

I don't actually believe all the child free.

ghostyslovesheets · 17/09/2023 16:46

Thing is though - just because YOU feel something doesn't mean other people who say they feel the opposite are lying - it is perfectly possible for people to see things differently and have different feelings

I am happily single and happy I had my kids in my 30's - facts - doesn't mean people who feel differently are lying or people who did things differently are wrong or lying!

IHeartGeneHunt · 17/09/2023 16:47

Like others I'm very happy being single, but I never post about it on Facebook.
I don't mention it at all in real life because if I do I get the "Oh but you haven't met the right one/you never know what's around the corner" and I can't be doing with it.
I like my life as it is, with no man in it.

Scruffington · 17/09/2023 16:47

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:45

I don't actually believe all the child free.

you're probably right that some of them are bullshitting, just as some of the 'having kids was the best thing that ever happened to me' people are bullshitting too.

there's no one side where everyone is being completely truthful.

Ponoka7 · 17/09/2023 16:48

I was happily single. I just happened to meet someone. I didn't have something missing from my life, or was ever lonely. We don't completely live together. He's been ill and we had to stop having sex, he's also off work, I enjoyed his company as I would a best friend, which is a good test. Things are back to normal now. When I was younger I had fuck buddies. I feel for people who need a relationship, so have to accept the shit that you read about on here. If I hadn't have met him, I'd have been happily single.

Wobblysausage · 17/09/2023 16:48

I’m okay being single, I wouldn’t say I was happy but I’m also not bothered if I never have another relationship again. Mainly because I see how miserable my friends in relationships are and from my own experiences I know it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Don’t feel the need to post on social media about it though.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 17/09/2023 16:49

Who knows, but why people follow such annoying, attention seekers on social media, I have no idea. Just unfollow them!

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:49

Actually what I should say is that I don't believe anyone who makes a part of their lives their entire personality and bores on about it on social media, so
Excessively proud mums
Excessively loving wives
Excessively ecstatic child free
Most life decisions have their advantages and disadvantages.

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 16:50

I don't actually believe all the child free

To each their own 🤷‍♀️

I don’t necessarily believe all the stuff some parents come out with to make it sound like they’ve got the perfect life.

Defiantjazz · 17/09/2023 16:53

Most life decisions have their advantages and disadvantages

Facts* *

Lentilweaver · 17/09/2023 16:57

I think you have misunderstood me @Defiantjazz . I definitely believe many people are happy childfree. I just don't believe the ones who have made it their entire personality and keep banging on about it. Just like I don't believe parents who do the same. All is the crucial word.