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Original poster

My son being told to walk to school with another child!

282 replies

SunSeaSand55 · 15/09/2023 15:32

My son is in Yr 9 and walks the 10 - 15 min walk to school with his friend who lives over the road. Coming home today our new neighbour asks to speak to him and says her son has just started in Yr 7 and she's having to pay for a taxi to take him as she's working and doesn't want him walking alone. She then asked if they could walk together. My son barely had chance to speak and she just said thank you so much and walked away! As a working parent myself I totally get where she's coming from but think it's a bit cheeky. My son walked on his own right from the beginning until several weeks in when he made friends. He is now stropping as he doesn't want to have a Yr 7 walking with him! Apparently it's very uncool and Yr 9 do not associate with younger year groups!!
I am not going to tell the other mum my son isn't happy but I do see his point. He shouldn't be responsible for someone else's child. Should he just suck it up?

OP posts:
Toomuchtrouble4me · 16/09/2023 19:44

I’m confused - so you and son agreed?
You literally both stood there mute? Or did you agree to it and then regret?
I think it would be a nice thing to do and can’t see the harm in walking together.

Mikki77 · 16/09/2023 19:51

Cheeky fuckery.

How dare she approach your son!
Tell her straight - she is never to approach your son for a favour and neither you or your son are prepared to escort her child to school.

VeneziaJ · 16/09/2023 19:55

MidgesGirdle · 15/09/2023 15:37

I am not going to tell the other mum my son isn't happy but I do see his point. He shouldn't be responsible for someone else's child. Should he just suck it up?

I don't understand why you are being so passive here. Year 9 is only 13, or barely 14 at this point. It's your job as parent to step in and deal with things far outside of the scope of a child's ability - this situation counts.

Absolutely! Our year 9 is 13 he would freak out at the responsibility of walking an unknown child to school every day.

Pickle59 · 16/09/2023 19:58

lots of unkind posts on this ! why not teach the older child to do something nice and kind for a younger child

LolaSmiles · 16/09/2023 20:00

Wow, whatever happened to kindness and helping someone out. I would hope my child would be happy to help - it’s just a walk to school!
Kindness is seeing a younger child walking on their own and checking they're ok, or helping out when a neighbour asks if would mind helping your younger child walk to school for the first couple of days because they're nervous.

It's not being kind to assume you can dump your parenting responsibilities onto another child. If the mother is that concerned that her child is unable to manage the walk, what is she doing making another child responsible for hers?
It's not the responsibility of other children to supervise and take responsibility for another child because their parent doesn't want to do taxis anymore.

MidgesGirdle · 16/09/2023 20:01

Pickle59 · 16/09/2023 19:58

lots of unkind posts on this ! why not teach the older child to do something nice and kind for a younger child

Hello CF mum. If you want your child to have an example of kindness, best to start with yourself. 👍

WMA · 16/09/2023 20:08

I have 2 kids in (different) high schools.

One is in Y7 at a specialist school for autistic kids and STILL walks the 10 minutes too and from the bus stop to catch his school coach WITHOUT me, (I started letting him walk to school in Y6 so we could BOTH get used to it).

You say it’s a 10-15 minute walk. You need to explain to the parent that she needs to let her son grow up, and stop wrapping him n cotton wool and relying on others.

Protecting your child has as much to do with teaching them as physically protecting them.

(P.S. yes, it’s stressful and worrying, but that’s a part of being a parent. TG for mobile phones).

Totaly · 16/09/2023 20:23

lots of unkind posts on this ! why not teach the older child to do something nice and kind for a younger child

And this is why CF get away with it.

Being TOLD something is happening does not make it kind, nor is it nice.

Being NICE is asking. Being kind is offering something in return.

Iamtheonwandlonely · 16/09/2023 20:29

@SunSeaSand55 don't let your son do it even once,it'll be harder to end the arrangement

You need to worry more about your son's feelings than some random women.
Back up your son and tell the woman no.

SootyDog · 16/09/2023 20:40

FreedomSearcherForever · 16/09/2023 18:06

Wow, whatever happened to kindness and helping someone out. I would hope my child would be happy to help - it’s just a walk to school!

Cracking.

I'll PM your child a list of things that my child needs help with. On Wednesdays she does gymnastics so it would be kind if your child could come with us and watch her so that I could do something else.

Be Kind! ❤️

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2023 20:46

Glad you’ve taken on board all the posts, and now feel confident to tell CF Mum that your son will NOT be walking hers to school every day. The cheek of it!

Most of all because your son doesn’t need to be made responsible in that way, it’s not fair on him. The embarrassment is fair enough, as kids are like that, but I think the responsibility she’s trying to pass across to him is the main thing. Also as pps have said, what if your son is sick? Will she expect him to get up and take her son in anyway? Or expect you to do it perhaps?

Whatafliberty · 16/09/2023 21:53

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?

ZadocPDederick · 16/09/2023 21:54

Whatafliberty · 16/09/2023 21:53

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?

How are they being unkind? Surely it's his parents' job to get him to school, not random schoolmates'?

Pickle59 · 16/09/2023 22:49

ooooooo

Pickle59 · 16/09/2023 22:51

totally agree whatafliberty I can’t believe how mean some posts are 🤢

MagicFarawayTea · 16/09/2023 22:54

Rinoachicken · 15/09/2023 15:40

You just go round (or drop a note through the door if you must) that simply says

It is not appropriate for my child to be responsible for another younger child he does not know. You will need to make alternative arrangements if you child is unable to walk to school himself.

This. It’s completely inappropriate. What a cheeky fucker. And stand up for your son ffs.

jlpth · 16/09/2023 22:56

Whatafliberty · 16/09/2023 21:53

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?

Could you be kind to me and send me £500?

Why not?

Pickle59 · 16/09/2023 22:57

real kindness is expecting nothing in return

JFDIYOLO · 17/09/2023 00:42

Tell her no.

Your son is too young to be responsible for escorting a younger child to school.

If anything were to go wrong - an accident, say - the implications for your son could be difficult.

She will have to make other arrangements to get him there.

T1Dmama · 17/09/2023 01:15

I would be popping a note through her door stating that your son and his friends will not be walking her son to school and she needs to continue with her taxi arrangements!

T1Dmama · 17/09/2023 01:19

Whatafliberty · 16/09/2023 21:53

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?

They don’t even know this child… OP’s son doesn’t want to walk him to school and neither do his mates…. What would you have them do? OP’s son tell his mates he’s walking an 11 year old in so can’t walk with them anymore? Or would you have OP walk this other woman’s son to school for her? Why not through in a fried breakfast too and offer to pack him a lunch box!!

Totaly · 17/09/2023 01:25

real kindness is expecting nothing in return

Yes we choose when and where and who to be kind to. We do not have it foisted upon us with the expedition of ‘be kind’

I might be kind and pay for someone’s shopping - I would not pay if they demanded it.

I would take a child to school if asked, I would not take them if it was demanded.

Nor would I accept a responsibility for my teen - on their behalf.

RecklessGoddess · 17/09/2023 01:28

You should tell her he doesn't want to, and it's not his responsibility to make sure that a younger child gets to school ok. If something happened to the kid, he'd get the blame, and in-turn you too.

Topseyt123 · 17/09/2023 02:51

Whatafliberty · 16/09/2023 21:53

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?

Firstly, he's 11. Not actually a little boy, but still in a totally different and younger age group to OP's son so would change the whole group dynamic.

It's unfair to make OP's son responsible for him. What if something happened on the way to or from school, or they are into different before or after school clubs, which they should be free to do?

Secondly, nobody is being unkind to him, just avoiding an unwanted and unfair situation. They haven't told him to bugger off.

LolaSmiles · 17/09/2023 06:46

Why can't you and your son just be kind to the little boy?
Why do people always use "be kind" as a way to put on people, be CF and to get people to do what they want?

It's not unkind to say your own child is not taking responsibility for another child's transport to school.

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