My son being told to walk to school with another child!

[SunSeaSand55]

My son is in Yr 9 and walks the 10 - 15 min walk to school with his friend who lives over the road. Coming home today our new neighbour asks to speak to him and says her son has just started in Yr 7 and she's having to pay for a taxi to take him as she's working and doesn't want him walking alone. She then asked if they could walk together. My son barely had chance to speak and she just said thank you so much and walked away! As a working parent myself I totally get where she's coming from but think it's a bit cheeky. My son walked on his own right from the beginning until several weeks in when he made friends. He is now stropping as he doesn't want to have a Yr 7 walking with him! Apparently it's very uncool and Yr 9 do not associate with younger year groups!!
I am not going to tell the other mum my son isn't happy but I do see his point. He shouldn't be responsible for someone else's child. Should he just suck it up?

I sincerely hope most teenagers are nicer than their parents are on here!

What’s not ok and totally ridiculous is parents actively facilitating a culture in which the younger kids aren’t supported by the older ones! And being cool is more important than being kind.

Some really revolting attitudes on here tbh. I hope your kids are never in a position where they need to ask another for help but if they are I hope that kid says yes because they had good parents who taught them decent principles .

It was the father. The parents were separated. He was able to meet her out most days. It was central London. She was an anxious child.

This used to be the norm, older children walking with younger. At our local secondary school the older children are still asked to look out for the younger ones if a school bus fails to arrive.
The mum might have gone about it the wrong way but it's not an awful request.
Shes not asking him to be responsible for him she's just asking that they walk together. I'm suprised at the unkindness being shown here.

No one is signing a contract. I’m saying you can disagree to the mum’s ask but still offer to be nice to the younger boy. The 2-3 days is an example of a boundary the older boy can set. The OP can support this, they just go to the other parent and say sorry he’s not confident walking alone but it is not possible for us to help long term, however DS will be happy to show him the way for 2-3 days to build his confidence.

Exactly this. I got 2 buses to school and my friends’ older siblings showed us where to go, what to do. Then when the little siblings and younger kids from the area joined y7 we did the same.

You’re all going the same way anyway, why not go together.

Like many things in life, it’s not so much what is done, it’s how it is done.

I would walk over, knock on the door and say ‘you were asking about your son walking to school with my son, that won’t be happening and please don’t ask again’ then you walk away.

Stand up for your son and good luck.

Gaza's mental health problems started when he was a child and he called round for another child and the mother wasn't keen on her son going out to play but gave in and told the young Gazza to 'look after' her son.

Her son was knocked over by a car and killed.

A horrible responsibility to put on a child to look after another child.

Tell the mother that she walked off before you could answer and that your son isn't a child minder and she must make arrangements for her child or teach them to be independent.

A y7 doesn’t need supervision on a walk to school; he must find his mother a sore embarrassment.

Rubbish!!

It's not that the child can't - it's just reassurance for an anxious mum whose child is doing this solo for the first time.

I don't know how you are projecting passive/aggressiveness out of this.

Sure, the mum might have asked in a more considered way but what harm is it going to do? Both boys are going the same way anyway.

100% this.

Great way to teach your child to be selfish and lacking in empathy.

Yep - but with a lot of posters here it's "so long as it's not my village"!!!

You say excuse me, my child is not responsible for your child so will not be walking him to school. Bye.

Exactly.

I suspect the son would have felt much happier about doing it, and might even have offered voluntarily if the mum had come round and said that her ds was really nervous about walking, could he just reassure him that the route was fine and lots of people walked it.

It's very different offering to do it and being expected. Especially when it's an open ended expectation.

You need to go over and tell her. Why would you stand up for your son?

Do we actually know they didn't??!

Well if he still needs "walking to school" by someone else's child, perhaps they need to do it a bit more. But the putting him in a taxi default suggests they havent done it all.

Honestly - if it were a case of can you just keep an eye out for him on the way- great and reasonable - and my kids would have done it. Actually be responsible for getting him to school, nope.

Absolutely not. Your son is responsible for himself, not another person. Unfair on him. Tell her no can do.

What @whatchulookinatwillis said.

If she was going to pay for taxis, this would be a saving for her.

Grow a pair and speak up for your son. Ridiculous you have to ask a bunch of strangers rather than use your common sense.

Times like this where I feel like I live in a parallel universe. Round here, the kids are all leaving their houses around the same time and generally wandering towards school in groups of different age kids. Maybe they all reorganise by age as they get closer to school.

That seems like madness to me. Two years! Did the girl never make her own friends or your daughter never want go do her own thing after school?

She hadn't prepared him to walk 10 minutes to school by year 7!
Don't make him do it. Just say sorry my son can't walk with your son, maybe suggest she practices walking with him over the weekend! I can't believe she's being paying for a taxi.

It is not her sons job to tell another child where it is safe to cross the road. It is the parents job. Which they have failed to do. It's a 10 min walk.
She could walk him on Saturday and get him to do it by himself Sunday then he's ready to do it himself on Monday.