Lost my cool with school run mum

[Vanilladanish]

I’m at my absolute wits end. Recently bought a house near the kids primary school and like most primary schools the parking at school run time is a nightmare. There is one mum that constantly parks over my drive blocking me in or out. I work as an on call palliative care nurse and twice now have been late to call outs to provide pain relief and other things to patients at the end of life. I’ve tried to talk to her nicely and she just drives away. A few weeks ago my husband was trying to pull in the drive after work and she was blocking again. There was a queue of traffic behind him and he had to pull over and ask her to move so he could get off the road. She said she would when she was ready. Sometimes she’s there and there are spaces all the way up and down the road but she still blocks my drive.
today she blocked me again - I’ve just finished a night shift and I saw red. I asked her to stop parking and tried to explain I needed to get in and out quickly for work. She just shouted over me so I told her I would slash her tyres next time. I know I was unreasonable to say that and I am really ashamed of myself but I’m absolutely at my wits end. What do I do?!

Just checking- do you have dropped curb right along end of driveway

Large piece of paper worth ILLEGALLY PARKED printed on it and use Vaseline to stick it to the driver's side windscreen.

She's an arsehole. Completely agree with that. However I think you should probably be careful with the threats to criminal damage if you have already made it clear to her you are a nurse. If she secretly films you saying stuff like that and sends it to the NMC you could face going through all that stress.

I disagree that school won't action anything. Every school I have been involved with has been incredibly firm with parents parking over neighbours drives. My kids school has put bollards in place over one exit where parents used to park on the pavement and the headteacher patrols the area and moves people along at 3pm. They need to have a system in place to allow parents to collect their kids safely and if parents parking makes things risky they will get things done.

I see this at my child's school, people parking across people's drives and on double yellows etc. The school send emails out about it and have traffic wardens and pcso wandering about at pick up and drop off. Speak to the council, school and non emergency police number. You shouldn't have to park your car across your own drive just to stop this entitled idiot, but it might be a plan until you can get this sorted. I don't blame you for going crazy at her, I would have too.

I would put a cone out there and a big sign that says do not block drive. She'll have to get out to move it and will look like a twat in from of everyone.

As someone who lost a parent to cancer recently I am enraged on your behalf. The end of life care from people like you was invaluable and there were times when my dad was in agony and we had to get emergency medication administered by a professional, even all the prescription oramorph wouldn’t touch it and it had to be injected. This woman is a selfish, disgusting disgrace to argue back and continue to block you when you have politely pointed out what your job entails. I wonder how she would feel if she or a loved one was in agony for an extra 20 minutes due to someone’s arrogance. Having watched my dad wince with every micro movement, struggle to breath when his lungs were filling with fluid and we had to wait patiently for a professional to come out and administer the emergency medication, I am just sickened to my core tbh. I’d have not helps my cool around this woman, you did very well.

Follow all the advice from PP, I hope you get it sorted.

I would have done the same (and equally regretted losing my cool). Don’t engage with her again.

I would take photos and note time/ date. Email the headteacher (and board of governors?) to complain. Contact the council and local PSCO if possible. Post a polite message on the local facebook page.

She sounds like an entitled arsehole.

Also live on a school road and regularly blocked in. Id be tempered to park away from the school, then when she blocks your drive block her (may need you and a friend / dh to help proper block her front and back) in and give her a taste of her own medicine!

I would give her one warning to say next time you’ll take pictures of her and the car and paste over social media and the press, as she is clearly so set on causing distress to you, your family and the patients that depend on you.
you will also call the police for blocking an emergency worker in.

This was an issue near my friends mums house.

She took an excellent tip from another friend.

She got a roll of sticky white stickers that are a bitch to peel off.

She wrote on each sticker DO NOT BLOCK MY DRIVE on each one.

She peppered them on the front, side and back window, not blockering the ability to see out the front window, but making her position clear.

She did it a couple of days, photographed each of the cars, reported them to police and the school and the local FB page.....no more problems for her parents.

She is a CF and I simply wouldn't be tolerating it.

I'd photograph and put on your local Facebook page with the full story about being a palliative care nurse and having spoken to her politely numerous times. She will be absolutely ripped to shreds.

Draw a big penis on her car with lipstick.
Sneakily without her seeing you.

Our school encouraged neighbours to report these issues to them. They have a duty to be good neighbours and if someone sends them a photo it's easy to bung that in a newsletter. Much harder and less effective to manage if it's just rumours and grumblings and everyone being too polite to say anything. Peer pressure does work on parents - plenty will judge others parking inconsiderately, it gives them all a bad name.

I do like the post it idea. If you get on with your neighbours, agreeing to park close nose to tail over your own driveways for an hour or so to block them in would be highly tempting. In practice whether I'd risk it I'm not sure, but I suspect it would be very effective. It's like dealing with bullies, you just need to convince them yours is not the right fight to pick.

Blocking access TO the highway is an offence

Blocking so you can get back on the drive isnt

I'd report on 101 or online take the registration. At least 50% of the time she's committing an offence. Pcso should be able to deal if you take the reg no they can find her address

I live opposite an infant school. If I don't leave my drive by 8.35 then I have to wait until 9. If I arrive home anywhere between 2.30 and 3.15, the chances are I can't get in my drive!
I have been told too many times there's no law stopping them from blocking my drive! In my case, obstruction applies because there is always a car parked on my drive!
I've been told, countless times, "I won't be 2 minutes" - why is my time less important than there's!?
When it gets bad I email the school and it does stop for a short while.

Good on you for confronting her, absolute rude, inconsiderate cow.

Her not you now...

She doesn't drive a white Audi by any chance @Vanilladanish ?

We used to live in a tourist house in a tourist spot and somebody with a disabled barge parked on the pavement, which apparently is allowed blocking me into my house so that I couldn’t leave without literally climbing over their car with a double pram. I called the police who informed me that the person that done nothing wrong. Actually, think the truth of the matter is, they’ve got no interest in dealing with this kind of thing. Which I understand I really do, but it is frustrating.

My DM is in palliative care now. This woman needs a good shake. I like the ideas about the sticky labels, the sign stuck on with Vaseline and the lipstick penis. If you’re anywhere near the Midlands give me a shout, I’d be happy to come and do them all on behalf of you and your terminally ill patients.

I will be using this idea on constant offenders! 🤣

Pritt Stick.

Vaseline is what you put under the door handles!

We had this issue with a parent who consistently blocked our drive at school run time. DH was self employed at the time and would often drop in at home to pick up the next job or materials etc.
One afternoon, the same driver had blocked the drive yet again so DH just parked up in the middle of the road and went indoors to make a brew and prepare for his next job. Ten minutes later the driver is knocking on the front door insisting that he move his van, she couldn't move as next doors had parked up and gone out and she was stuck. He refused and said that she had blocked access to our drive and he had no choice as all the other parents were parked up in a similar fashion to her and went back in to finish his brew. There was chaos that afternoon and complete gridlock as all traffic was now reduced to accessing the school entirely up one narrow road fully parked up on both sides only allowing one car up or down and having to go round the block to join the queue to exit the estate. Anything behind my DHs van was unable to move and had to wait until he was ready to go - so tea finished, materials loaded and off he went.
We never saw her again and we were updated by the school caretaker who lives next door but one about that afternoon! We were told that she had complained to the Headteacher - who told her in no uncertain terms that she was at fault here along with all the other parents who have no consideration for residents of the estate - she apparently completely lost it and had an argument with the Headteacher resulting in her having to remove her children from the school that day!!

This is correct, it is an offence to block someone in but not to block someone out. A neighbour was told this by the police when someone kept blocking their drive. Getting out could be an emergency, as it may be in the OP's case, but getting back on your drive will not be.