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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lost my cool with school run mum

464 replies

Vanilladanish · 15/09/2023 10:18

I’m at my absolute wits end. Recently bought a house near the kids primary school and like most primary schools the parking at school run time is a nightmare. There is one mum that constantly parks over my drive blocking me in or out. I work as an on call palliative care nurse and twice now have been late to call outs to provide pain relief and other things to patients at the end of life. I’ve tried to talk to her nicely and she just drives away. A few weeks ago my husband was trying to pull in the drive after work and she was blocking again. There was a queue of traffic behind him and he had to pull over and ask her to move so he could get off the road. She said she would when she was ready. Sometimes she’s there and there are spaces all the way up and down the road but she still blocks my drive.
today she blocked me again - I’ve just finished a night shift and I saw red. I asked her to stop parking and tried to explain I needed to get in and out quickly for work. She just shouted over me so I told her I would slash her tyres next time. I know I was unreasonable to say that and I am really ashamed of myself but I’m absolutely at my wits end. What do I do?!

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 15/09/2023 10:43

Email the school so they can put in their newsletter telling people not to park inappropriately.

Honestly, when it comes to CFs like this, nothing the school says or does will make a scrap of difference. Rude, entitled and dangerous parent parking has school managers and staff tearing their hair out. They have zero authority to tell people where or where not to park, zero authority to confront parents (and school governors will instruct staff not to do this as the board has a responsibility not to put their employees at risk of confrontation) and true CFs like this one are brazen enough to ignore clear reasoning as to why they shouldn't be doing what they're doing.

It's a police or council matter. Report repeatedly to the appropriate authorities who have a legal ability to do something about it. Don't try to shuffle it off to the school as it will be totally ineffective.

Workawayxx · 15/09/2023 10:44

YANBU, maybe that's the level she needs in order to stop parking there! Or can you put bollards out that say "DO NOT BLOCK DRIVE, ON CALL NURSE LIVES HERE"? I know they'll be a pain to move each time but could help. Or sticky notes that saying really big letters "DO NOT PARK HERE. YOU ARE BLOCKING ON CALL NURSE FROM ATTENDING CALL OUTS". Basically shame her!

Also, do bother the school and PCSO with lots of emails with photos of her car every single time. Our primary school got members of the PTA to wear yellow hi-vis and ask people to move their cars (not blocking drives but parking on yellow zig zags). They also got permission from 2 village halls, each a 5-10 min walk from school, to allow school parents to park there which helped a bit I think although parking still very tricky.

Namerequired · 15/09/2023 10:44

Actually slash her tyres, or have your keys out as you walk past her car!! I would be livid. I have 5 kids and live rural so know all about the nightmare that is school parking, but she’s is just whole other level. Parking across someone’s driveway is beyond cheeky (and pretty sure illegal) but to continue to do it after you spoke with her? She’s doing it on purpose. Definitely go to the school. Get her reg and a picture and send it to the school, every day if needs be. If she’s that brazen the school might not want to deal with her, but make it that they have to. I’m sure there’s somewhere else you can report it to also.
You could also find out where she lives and repay the favour. How are people like this not mortified?

ActDottie · 15/09/2023 10:44

I’d slash her tyres! Ok maybe not but I’d take pictures and start evidencing it every time and build up evidence to send to police.

AmandaHoldensLips · 15/09/2023 10:44

Empty a huge tub of Vaseline across her windscreen and side windows.

Beautiful3 · 15/09/2023 10:44

Take photos of her car including the registration and put it on the local face book, and on the school face book. Explain you're a nurse and have asked this person numerous times not to block the drive. All the mums will be talking about her. Or teach her a lesson and block her in, at both ends. She will never do it again.

Bollindger · 15/09/2023 10:45

One of my friends had this, she got a pack of post it notes and stuck them all over the car.
The owner was so mad, but she never did it again.
Also you could try this, put your phone on record, knock on her passengers window tell her you are recording her and will be posting on the school facebook page, tell her nicely you request her to stop parking over your drive. The actually post it to the page...

category12 · 15/09/2023 10:46

Frosty1000 · 15/09/2023 10:42

Definitely let the school know and I'd also drop into the message about her attitude towards you as that was uncalled for. I'd also look at getting some cones to put outside 🤣

I think in terms of attitudes, OP would probably be best not bringing it up after threatening to slash the woman's tyres. 😂

OP's in the right, but I think she's better sticking to the facts not perception of each other's attitudes 😂

MoroccoMole · 15/09/2023 10:47

I'd flow her home, find out where she lives. Then the next day go block her in so she's late for the school run

Dogsitterwoes · 15/09/2023 10:47

Deny deny deny making that threat. She's making it up has to be your line.

Big sign 'Nurse on-call. Do not block drive' placed so you can see it and her car blocking your drive, then take photos showing both. Then police, school and local Facebook/WhatsApp shame.

AdviceNeededForMe · 15/09/2023 10:47

Absolutely try all of the above. Id take photos and ask the head to include the photo in newsletter, so others know its her and hopefully she will be shamed into stopping. If people ask you about it, tell them you are a pallative care nurse and need to get to patients asap. Shes a dick

MrsWombat · 15/09/2023 10:48

I would send a very polite and brief email to the head teacher every single time this happens, and include how it impacted your job etc. Photos of her parking etc. Escalate it to the governors etc as per their complaints policy if it's ignored. Hopefully, one of the school's values or home-school agreement includes being respectful of neighbours, will will pee the head teacher off and make them do something.

MsMarch · 15/09/2023 10:48

I would let the school know but realistically, they can't do much. You can try contact local traffic enforcement (around us, there are a couple of car parks with a warden who, bless him, does his best to walk round the car park extraordinarily slowly, tie his shoe laces as people are rushing back having not paid etc - so I'd probably find him and have a word and ask him to loiter on our side for a day or two).

But I think you might have to go nuclear with posts to local Facebook groups. She needs to be embarrassed into stopping.

adventurewonderlands · 15/09/2023 10:48

Don't blame you for losing your cool in the circumstances. Awful woman!
Good advice from lots of other posters about taking photographic evidence and going to the school, police and social media.

WandaWonder · 15/09/2023 10:49

Could you take a photo of the car turn it into a massive poster and stick it up in the area?

RandomButtons · 15/09/2023 10:49

MoroccoMole · 15/09/2023 10:47

I'd flow her home, find out where she lives. Then the next day go block her in so she's late for the school run

Genius!

Foggyfoggyfoggy · 15/09/2023 10:50

There is a website called parklikeatwat. Shove her photos up there op.
Local fb page shame her also...

Gellhell · 15/09/2023 10:51

Put a sign on your drive saying something like. Medical staff on call. Driveway in constant use.

Stroopwaffels · 15/09/2023 10:51

Just a point - all the stuff about governors and "school managers" and so on is irrelevant in Scotland and OP doesn't say she is in England/Wales. We don't have governors here, it's the school head teacher and local authority.

Anyway, neither the head not local authority have any power over parking. They can ask nicely and that's it. Police is the only way.

CheekyHobson · 15/09/2023 10:51

I would send a very polite and brief email to the head teacher every single time this happens, and include how it impacted your job etc.

The school will have absolutely no authority to enforce street parking so you are just making more pointless work for already overworked teachers and school managers. They will be very unlikely to get involved in a public name-and-shame campaign either.

RandomButtons · 15/09/2023 10:51

I’d go for dropping a bag of open dog poo or dirty nappy on car window screen.

And lot the big “nurse on call” sign. She will shame herself in front of the other parents (not that some care going by schools around here)

NameChangedForThis195206644 · 15/09/2023 10:52

MoroccoMole · 15/09/2023 10:47

I'd flow her home, find out where she lives. Then the next day go block her in so she's late for the school run

This is brilliant

Rosequartzz · 15/09/2023 10:52

This wasn't a school time thing but we have encountered this many times. We once had someone park across our driveway and so we blocked the car in its spot by parking bumper to bumper so there was no way out for them. eventually they rang our doorbell as they couldn't figure out who blocked them in and we warned them not to park there again. The traffic wardens are on bikes so can be there super sharpish, they will issue a ticket to the offender if they are blocking access to your driveway. Make the call, watch them pull up and place the ticket on the windscreen. We've had to do this on many occasions

CoolShoeshine · 15/09/2023 10:52

If contacting the school or a pcso doesn’t help then the power of a local Facebook group will definitely sort the issue. A post with a photo of the car and details of how it is impacting your work with the terminally ill will get the whole of your local community on your side. Pitchforks may be raised!!

dawngreen · 15/09/2023 10:52

I would find some one willing to tow it to a yard, who will give her a large fee to pay to get the car back. How many times of being towed and collecting fines? before she avoids your drive?