Lost my cool with school run mum

[Vanilladanish]

I’m at my absolute wits end. Recently bought a house near the kids primary school and like most primary schools the parking at school run time is a nightmare. There is one mum that constantly parks over my drive blocking me in or out. I work as an on call palliative care nurse and twice now have been late to call outs to provide pain relief and other things to patients at the end of life. I’ve tried to talk to her nicely and she just drives away. A few weeks ago my husband was trying to pull in the drive after work and she was blocking again. There was a queue of traffic behind him and he had to pull over and ask her to move so he could get off the road. She said she would when she was ready. Sometimes she’s there and there are spaces all the way up and down the road but she still blocks my drive.
today she blocked me again - I’ve just finished a night shift and I saw red. I asked her to stop parking and tried to explain I needed to get in and out quickly for work. She just shouted over me so I told her I would slash her tyres next time. I know I was unreasonable to say that and I am really ashamed of myself but I’m absolutely at my wits end. What do I do?!

With your job OP I think I'd go to the local press. I know the sad face photo isn't popular on here but you in uniform and maybe a quote from a carer of someone who was left in pain should get the message across.

I live near a school and I sympathise. I spoke to the Head about it and she said she'd had to go out the previous week to intervene as a parent was being so aggressive with a traffic warden.

She could well be prosecuted under the Emergency Workers (Obstruction) Act 2006, which comes with an unlimited fine. Have you asked your employer if they offer you and support?

Somebody like her will just move the cones if they want to. I’ve actually seen them do it outside of a church when they have the black cones to save the spot for a Hurst.

I would be tempted to get a water pistol or something. Well you’re not actually gonna do any damage and it’s actually unprovable. And blast her with a supersoaker Nerf gun.

Yes, DS’s old primary took the parking impact on the community very seriously and the Head would email photos of badly-parked cars with reg showing out to the entire school immediately and reprimand. I would hope it was effective.

I would put a sign on the driveway and actually on your car (or whichever is in the drive) so that people can see she has blocked in a nurse on call. The embarrassment might be enough to deter her. If I was feeling cheeky I would also print out a flyer to put on her windscreen every time she did it (and extra cheeky to put it on the car while she’s in it!)

As others have said I would also post on the school’s Facebook, report it to the school and perhaps local PCSO. I wouldn’t block my own drive because that’s illegal even if it’s yours, but if you have local traffic wardens I might speak to one of them

It would be an annoying situation anyway but your job and the fact that you’ve spoken to her several times makes her such a CF

The school can do fuck all, they will just put notices in the newsletter, maybe send texts or letters home but they can't DO anything.

If she is yelling and aggressive report her to police (although cool it on threats) and take photos every time and report her to the council.

I have done it a few times, the people have ceased afterwards so I assume they got at minimum a bollocking but likely a fine.

I will say its different though as the people I reported isn't a drive way issue. They where parking on the pavement where there is double yellow lines on a junction that blocks the view of the busy main road for residents (which is a death trap if you can't see). Apparently the council really do not like people driving up and damaging their pavements.

How much abuse do the members of the school staff get from the yummies though? It's one thing to mention their entitled selfishness in a newsletter but quite another to expect them to take on the role of neighbourhood sheriff!

Agree with plastering her photo all over social media, speaking to the school and reporting to the police.

In our village there is a row of cottages with a low pavement in front of it. Parents on the school run park their cars ON this pavement every single day, they are both blocking use of the pavement for children walking to/from the school and they are actually blocking people in the cottages from being able to get in or out of their front doors as they have parked across them.

The village hall has a good sized car park only a short distance from the school, which parents have permission to use and the village pub amost opposite the school also has a small car park that they allow parents to use. Yet still they continue to block the pavement because its a few feet closer to the school, people can be so mind-bogglingly selfish.

Urban myth says someone actually did this. As far as I can tell you can't block someone from accessing the highway but you can park over a dropped kerb so this woman apparently parked on this woman's drive knowing it would be free at the time of the school run and when the woman returned home from the school run told her she would move it at her convenience. I think it changed the dynamics when the person who parked near school realised that this woman now had her home address.

As for the OP I would report her to the police and tell them she has blocked you in when you were needed to give pain medication for patients on end of life care, you have explained this to her and she still persists in blocking the drive.

I would also name and shame at school with the same details to the office. Our local primary had mini police, year 5s and above in high vis with a PSCO confronting parents who parked badly. It was lovely to see photos in the newsletter and I bet when confronted by children it was a bit embarrassing for the parents.

I'd go for a he embarrassment factor.

Inside of cornflakes packets used as very large notes under windscreen wipers with messages about blocking in nurse on Nightshift.

Post it notes.

Plus websites. Local twitter or Facebook.

Photo printed out of car tied to school fence! Or your fence/wall.

Put your Wheely bin (and neighbours if they agree.) Right up to her bumpers so she is inconvenienced.

Nothing that is criminal damage but is annoying for her.

I may have used the cardboard notes myself at some point when people have blocked access.

I think I would’ve said the same! She sounds utterly awful.
I would speak to the school asap.

Please don't do this. The school has no power in this, the governors definitely don't. They have enough to do without dealing with matters they have no control over. It's enough for them to put repeated messages in newsletters, which I'm sure they already do.
The police and local council are the correct route.

I live right by a school too, it's at the top of our cul de sac.

The ignorance of the parents is absolutely mind boggling.... My drive was blocked earlier this year, and I sat there waiting to get out to pick my son up from his school. The man came back and I was politely trying to talk to him, which he ignored. So I got out of the car, and went right up to him. Told him his parking was unacceptably and selfish. He said it was because it was raining and he didn't want his kids to get wet. I pointed out that meanwhile my son was waiting for me and was now soaked! I mean he didn't give a toss but you have to try.......

I'd take the reg. number and pictures of every time it happens, and ring the school every single time. I know it's a nuisance for you, but that's the only way you're going to get noticed. I'd also report to the police and local council (I think it's them that deal with parking wardens) every single time too.

I feel your pain. I live near a primary school (albeit one my son attends!) and I agree with others that talking to the school is a good place to start. Reminders about parking can be sent out in the schools weekly newsletter (if they have one) and in our area it is not uncommon for traffic officers to be on hand during school runs to deter bad and DANGEROUS parking. It's also not unheard of for the head teacher to actually do a walk around at peak times to see the issue first hand!
People that are otherwise reasonable at any other time can turn into right dicks when it comes to school drop off and pick up time!!! Hope the issue is resolved for you.

Stick a note to her side window every time with vaseline.

Yes because the school don't have enough todo so why not add parking disagreements to their list that quite clearly is not on school premises or anything todo with them!
These are fully grown adults and can deal with it themselves.

I don't blame you for losing your shit at her. If she's still parking there when there are other spaces available she's doing it deliberately now to goad you. Definitely take a picture and go into the school with it and ask to see the head. We lived right opposite a primary and schools are very conscious of wanting to not aggravate local residents.

I actually really like this idea. Directly follow her form the school run, block her drive, lock your car, smile and walk off.

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but rather than slashing her tyres, take the valve cap off and use a small screwdriver or thin pliers to press down in the valve. It deflates the tire without any criminal damage.

Take photos and forward them to the school. She obviously doesn’t give a damn so I would have no qualms about naming and shaming her. I never understand how people can behave so badly and park over people’s drives. Such arrogant self centred behaviour.

Disagree. We lived opposite a primary and the school was happy to act on complaints from local residents because they know the impact a school has on neighbourhood streets. All they have to do is talk to the parent and tell her to stop being an entitled madam.

The two primaries in two countries DS has attended (one village, one in a city) very much considered bad school run parking by parents impacting people who lived locally as part of their remit.

I work in a school and this is definitely something a head teacher would attempt to deal with. Obviously, they have limited powers but there is definitely more that they can do than write a message in the newsletter to stop minor anti-social behaviour outside their school which may escalate into something worse that students could witness or get hurt by. (We had a situation involving bleach)

iirc the rules on this are a bit odd - if someone's blocking you in and preventing you from leaving your property, that's illegal.
If they're blocking you out & preventing you from driving into your driveway/property, that's a civil issue.

Take a photo or video of her. Put it on one of the school Facebook pages. Email photo and dates and what's happened to the school and local pcso and also heavily put across that you are a palliative nurse providing end of life care and that her blocking you has caused a lot of issues, upset and literal pain for people