To not let 13 DS to go paddle boarding with his friends after school?

[Sparrow7]

DS wants to go to the beach (40 mins away) after school with a group of five other 13 year old boys, one of which is bringing a paddle board. The boys are sensible and all competent at swimming and paddle boarding. However, there will be no adults present, no lifeguards as they have finished for the summer and no life jackets will be worn.
My instinct is to say no but apparently all the other parents are fine with this. Even DH says ok as the sea will be calm later.

Please vote YABU if you would be ok with this.
Or YANBU if you would also say no.

My Uncle was 16 when he and his best friend drowned, nice day, people around, smallish bay, good swimmers, No life vests. His body took a few months to find. My grandmother lost everything from the shock Her business, her house and only just kept the younger children in her care.
Don't let him it all happens so fast.

I would say absolutely not. Teenage boys and unsupervised access to open water is a recipe for disaster.

No way! The sea is dangerous and things can turn from calm to scary quickly. I’ve known experienced paddle boards (adults) who have got into difficulties and needed rescuing by the RNLI. Over the summer a man sadly drown at a local marine lake water sports centre paddle boarding. He was in his 30’s. A bunch of 13 year old lads messing about on the sea without supervision and life jackets is an accident waiting to happen.

Definitely not and doubly so since risks aren't helped by no life jackets. Way too risky and 13 year old boys are not known for being sensible in groups.

Stupid to not wear a life jacket.

Here's an example of children in danger

www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/children-were-grave-danger-drowning-24640396.amp

My ds is a little older but we live right beside the beach. He goes surfing with a group of friends after school regularly but one of them always stays on the beach (guarding the bags). Would that be a good compromise?

It's actually a very busy beach where they want to go. But last year we were on a crowded beach and a man and his dog drowned very close to us and noone saw anything. (The sea was very rough that day).

I wouldn't allow it. Inflatables and the sea can be high risk in the wrong conditions, if there's even a slight wind it could get quickly carried out and with nobody looking out for them could be a disaster.

Assuming they wear the leash, the board would act as a life bouy but there are just too many risks for me. Not taking into account it's a group of lads by themselves, no matter how sensible they are as individuals. I'd say no I'm afraid.

I'm amazed at some of the responses here. I'm in the Lake District and we have people down on calm lakes after getting into difficulty on inflatable craft.

The lack of life jackets alone would be an absolute no way, no chance!

Absolutely no way and I can't believe the boys parents are OK with this.

Can you watch the excellent safety videos on The Royal National Lifeboat Institution website? Float to live and the one on rip tides among others. He might then better understand why you wouldn't want him going without an adult or a life jacket. Or at least, he might remember what to do in a situation. I know 13 year olds think they're invincible. I wouldn't want him to go without those two things.

And the one on the beach sees others in trouble and all he can do is phone the coastguard and watch his friends drown whilst the coastguard is on its way.

Thanks everyone, I think these answers have given me the confidence to stick to my guns for now. I know it's only going to get harder as he gets older, makes me want to rethink my decision to live by the seaside! I wish RNLI would run some sea safety classes at the secondary school.

Have you actually spoken to the other parents? Just wondering whether it’s one of these where they’re playing you all off each against each other, they might have similar concerns but think you’re ok with it

See, this is what I thought - that everyone seems to be making a case for no one going in the sea ever. The bit that would concern me about this is the paddleboard and I think that if they're taking equipment like that they should have life jackets (though whether they'll wear them is another matter). I think that otherwise teenagers going to the beach and sea unsupervised at this age seems fine, but I'm guessing I'm out of step with the general consensus here...

Which is different how to what an adult accompanying them, as lots of people have suggested would be helpful, could do?

I'd say it's fine if he wears a life jacket but without an adult present, you can't know that he will, if he thinks it's uncool in front of his mates.

I can't believe a whole load of other parents are OK with this. Could it be a case of all of them telling their parents 'everyone else's parents don't mind.'

Can you ring some of the parents and ask what they think and suggest all the boys get life jackets and that you take it in turns to be there on the beach?

It's a lovely idea but not safe enough without proper kit. And I wouldn't trust my DC a that age not to ditch the life jacket just to appear cool in front of mates.

Re courses.. there are probably some paddle board courses which also teach safety. My daughter did one before going out on her board and she is 35.

We've always had very strict rules about water safety in our family (we're very boaty) and I would possibly allow this if I knew the beach and if he was experienced and wore a life jacket...Possibly.

I only know the parents of two of the other boys and they are definitely ok with it. When I queried safety stuff with them before I have been laughed at for having a precious first born! (Both DS's friends are the youngest of three) I do wonder about the other boys, especially one that only turned 13 at the end of August and is very young seeming, but I don't have their parents numbers.

Absolutely no way.

They are too young.

Even with older teens & adults, it's vital there's a plan when you are entering the water, including someone shoreline who can call for help.

The life jackets issue is a big concern. It's a non negotiable for mine when they were paddle boarding this summer.

Here in Ireland there have been so many warnings about using inflatables - even with every precaution being taken, there can be serious issues.

I'm also so influenced by the fact that we've had a terrible summer of drowning incidents here in Ireland.

If he's threatening to just lie about where he goes after school then I think you'll have to say he can't go out at all.

No lifeguards, no life jacket, five thirteen year old boys? No way. Absolutely not.

Yanbu to that specific combination.

I would say yes if it was a river location rather than the sea, yes if it was sea where there would be a lifeguard, yes if there was a grownup going. Absolutely not if none of those things are so.

I would say absolutely no way, considering the circumstances you described.

I’d be looking for a water safety course for him. Some kind of outdoor Education thing where they teach them how to read the water, the importance of safety gear and how to use it to help yourself or members of your group.