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Original poster

Ds19 not come home

142 replies

bellaroo92 · 15/09/2023 06:44

So am I worrying for nothing, not sure what to do?

Ds19 messaged me last night at 9.30 saying he's at a mates and will be back about 11.
Well he's not back and his phone is switched off. He has work at 7!

He has done this before but on a weekend when he's not had work.

Now I'm thinking has he been arrested or in hospital but no idea how to find out.

Anyone know?

OP posts:
Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 15/09/2023 06:47

Call your local hospitals and call 101 to ask I suppose. I don't think you're wrong to worry but it's probably fine. He's technically an adult even if he will still make stupid teenage decisions.

Hellocatshome · 15/09/2023 06:48

At 19 while those are both possible he is just as likely to be asleep at a friends house or gone home with a girl/boy he has met.

BippityBoppityBooHooHoo · 15/09/2023 06:56

Hellocatshome · 15/09/2023 06:48

At 19 while those are both possible he is just as likely to be asleep at a friends house or gone home with a girl/boy he has met.

This. He's likely fallen asleep at his mates house. To ease the worry of him coming to any harm, I'd phone 101 and hospitals, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

Other than that, he'll have to deal with the consequences of being late to work.

BeardieWeirdie · 15/09/2023 06:57

If he gets a disciplinary because he’s pulled (code: at a mate’s house when talking to mum) and is too busy having sex to get up for work, that will be a lesson learned. I wouldn’t worry just yet. He could be living away at university and you wouldn’t have a clue where he is on a daily basis.

Original poster
bellaroo92 · 15/09/2023 07:01

Tried 101 won't tell me anything because he's not under 18.

He's already had a warning from work for time off so he will prob lose his job. His own fault the idiot!! He should be there now.

He prob is at mates or girls somewhere so i will have no sympathy for him If he is.

Just doesn't hurt to send a text to let me know he won't be home!

OP posts:
User19543785 · 15/09/2023 07:02

He has probably gone to work from his mates house. As PP says if he was at university you wouldn't know what he was doing, I found when DS went off to university my anxiety about his whereabouts disappeared but when he was at home the worry came back.

Original poster
bellaroo92 · 15/09/2023 07:08

User19543785 · 15/09/2023 07:02

He has probably gone to work from his mates house. As PP says if he was at university you wouldn't know what he was doing, I found when DS went off to university my anxiety about his whereabouts disappeared but when he was at home the worry came back.

His work stuff is still here so he won't have gone!
Honestly can't wait for him to move out at times!! Worry more about him then my younger ones

OP posts:
MissMillion · 15/09/2023 07:34

Has he ever told you he would be home in 1.5 hours and then not turned up? That's quite worrying!

Screwballs · 15/09/2023 07:59

Not home yet? I agree a text wouldnt hurt but I also remember (vaguely) being 18/19...

Hellocatshome · 15/09/2023 08:05

Do you have the numbers of any of his friends he was out with?

Privatelyliving · 15/09/2023 08:09

I found the transition from childhood to adulthood by far the hardest part of parenting. Whilst we know he's probably fine and thoughtless, we also know that being a young male is a risky business!

I've eventually managed to get to a place where I don't ask many questions (so don't get told lies) but they do know always to let me know if they're not coming home.

Can you contact his friends? Maybe via whatever SM platform they use?

CarPour · 15/09/2023 08:15

I don't know. He said he'd be home at 11 and he's also missing work. Both are quite worrying signs.

Yes probably he's just fallen asleep at a mates/girls. But I would be worried.

Can you contact a friend he was with?

If he turns up I'd be giving him a massive bollocking. He can stay out all he likes but he needs to let you know if that's happening, because God forbid if something did happen your just going to think he's fucking around when he's late home.

gemloving · 15/09/2023 08:20

I hope you're ok OP. Mine are 4&2 and I know I'd be so worried.

Let us know what's happening x

x2boys · 15/09/2023 08:22

I.hope he's turned up.its not the fact he's an adult its just common courtesy I always used to let my parents know if I was staying out as I knew they would worry and I have drilled it in my 16 year old to.let me know if he's going to.be late etc just for peace of my mind .

Original poster
bellaroo92 · 15/09/2023 08:24

Well spoke to my sister she tried his phone and it's ringing. I've tried again and straight to voicemail. So he's obviously blocked me! Why on earth would he do that??
Obviously planned he wasn't coming home or going to work so decided fo block me instead of let me know!

Bloody hell I never question him or go on at in. All I ask is for a text to let me know he won't be home.

No respect at all!

OP posts:
Tempone · 15/09/2023 08:26

Why would he block you?

Privatelyliving · 15/09/2023 08:27

Tempone · 15/09/2023 08:26

Why would he block you?

Becuase he knows he shouldn't be wherever he is when he should be at work. 19yo men who've had the opportunity to stay out all night don't think like the rest of us.

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 08:28

Rude of him to turn his phone off.

Findyourneutralspace · 15/09/2023 08:32

Mine was awful for this at 19. It’s basic manners isn’t it? Chances are he’s just got caught up with the party but it doesn’t stop you worrying.

Wendysfriend · 15/09/2023 08:44

I always say give me a 2-3 year old and their tantrums etc over a 18-19 year old. While they're officially an adult, they can still act like kids and you can't say anything as you look like a smothering mother. Yes, they can learn from their mistakes but we have to deal with the fall out from their actions.

He's obviously blocked you so that he doesn't have to speak with you, the only good thing about this is you know they're safe.

My mother use to tell me when I was in my 40s that parents never stop worrying, it's a life long thing. 😬😬😬

EeesandWhizz · 15/09/2023 08:46

When my kids were younger I used to think that people that found parenting late teens was more difficult than younger kids were just being a bit daft and forgetting how hard the lack of sleep, constant watching of toddlers, etc could be.

Now I know.

x2boys · 15/09/2023 08:55

EeesandWhizz · 15/09/2023 08:46

When my kids were younger I used to think that people that found parenting late teens was more difficult than younger kids were just being a bit daft and forgetting how hard the lack of sleep, constant watching of toddlers, etc could be.

Now I know.

Yep.my mum always used to.say when your kids are little you know where they are ,safely tucked up.in bed
Im.starting to.understand the worry of having an older child who is more independent now.

WanderingWitches · 15/09/2023 08:59

Could his phone have been on the last bit of battery and then gone off when you rang? If he hasn't planned to be out, I can't imagine he has his charger

Original poster
bellaroo92 · 15/09/2023 09:10

@Privatelyliving exactly that!

He has no manners and no respect!
Least I know he's safe. Just an absolute arse hole

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 15/09/2023 09:24

If he loses his job make sure you aren't subbing him! No money for nights out etc. He'll learn his lessons the hard way.