To wonder if there’s a woman who hasn’t put up with unacceptable sexual harassment in the workplace?

[Ponderence]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-66775015

just reading this…..

and actually been thinking about this a lot recently. Have had 3 male bosses in my life. Was thinking that 2 have technically sexually harassed me (putting ice down my top, doing the tongue action between fingers, staring, inuendo comments- all while being ‘nice guys’) the one who didn’t Was seeing a lady in the office. Still work with the latest and to be honest I avoid bei nd alone with him cos I feel uncomfortable around him ( I’m in my 40s I’m not particularly worried about him but likewise I guess I should have to avoid a collleavue because I feel like I might be stared at)

these blokes are married with kids as I’m sure many of these ones are in the article.

are they all doing it? Is my husband sexually harassing people at work? Is theee a woman who hasn’t dealt with this sh*t?

m just realised my title makes it look like some sexual harassment might be acceptable. Obvs I don’t think that.

is the only way of avoiding it by not working with men?

wtf?

Mum, Aunt, Me, Best friend and both of my daughters at work and in private life. I don't think it's all men (as a PP said) however, I do think it's been normalised as 'banter' and we've been trained to just 'get on with it'. I'm glad we don't anymore. Fuck that

I am definitely more relaxed than most re flirting but pinching your bum at work is unacceptable IMO. In a club I would see it as flirting but I know many wouldn't. I would be confident enough to say get lost or whatever, it wouldn't traumatise me and I wouldn't feel like I'd been assaulted.

pinching your bum at work is unacceptable
that's not only acceptable, that's assault.

In a club I would see it as flirting nope, still assault. It wouldn't traumatise me, but I wouldn't tolerate for some low life to think they have any right to touch me. I'd get security to kick the twat out for a start.

Our commissioner started texting my work number, which he must have got from my line manager by stealth. He seemed to want to send me jokey comments. It was not work-related. Looking back it was inappropriate. I stopped replying as he bored me quickly after a few sentences. So I guess he didn't get the chance to escalate it. I told my boss a few weeks later, but she said nothing... I guess because he was our commissioner. I later found he'd done the same to someone else.

I worked in secondary schools and college for 43 years and never experienced sexual harassment of any kind. Come to think of it no flirting/banter either.

I won't put up with it.

At work I shoved the guy (very respected, senior) away and announced what had happened to my boss at the top of my voice in the middle of the department. A couple of other women burst into tears. Perpetrator was never seen again.

If you've heard someone on a train say in a loud voice 'please stop rubbing up against me' followed by a red-faced man scuttling off at the next stop, that will be me.

What's disappointing is that I get women shushing me and saying I shouldn't make a fuss.

How can a male surgeon sexually assault a female member of staff during an operation? The room is full of people, plus if either of them are actually scrubbed in, then they are going to mess up the sterility and the operation.

But anyway, I have had harassment and unwanted contact from males in the workplace. I was the only woman in the team, and it was just laughed off as banter.

Mine was more implicit than explicit but still enough to make me extremely uncomfortable. All done in plain sight though - even in front of my own boss. Asking me for lunch or dinner as a thank you even though I did nothing for him, inviting me to his team events……funny that he was married to the hr manager….

I told lots of people I trusted at work about it though and I know a few women had left because of him.

No, I can’t remember ever having experienced it in over 30 years of work - maybe I’m oblivious but I’m not attractive and have a permanent resting bitch face so I’m probably not the first choice for pervs.

I did have a creepy driving instructor at 17 though who would offer me ‘alternative ways of paying’. I wish I could go back in time and crash his car. Dick.

I have been harassed everywhere I have worked apart from my current role in the police (10 yr service) I understand this goes against everything the media wants the public to believe though

Im the only woman in a company of over 60 men! Many of them in the office that I work! I have never, not once been sexually harrassed, had inappropriate comments or anything else from any of them. Not once.

I have managed thirty years without any harassment and I don’t recall any female colleagues ever mentioning that they have either. And definitely I have been friends with enough so that I am sure they would.

I don’t doubt that it happens though, but I think to say every woman has experienced it is quite a stretch.

I had inappropriate comments when I was in my early 20s and applied for a part-time job in a clothes shop while studying. The manager during the interview for the job made a comment that I could get the job if I was ''nice to him''...

Then some inappropriate touching by a male volunteer when I was working for a charity: grabbing and holding my arm during a one to one meeting, coming behind me and rubbing my shoulders while I was sitting at my desk. The charity handled it really badly and I left shortly after that.

I should have added I had constant issues with harassment at school, on the street/ in various public places and was assaulted by a male so called ''friend''.

I have met some very decent men too but I must say in general I have a very low opinion of them because of what I have seen throughout my life.

Me neither

My first experience of sexual harassment was a placement in the House of Commons where it was absolutely rife! One well known MP (no longer an MP) asked my female colleague and I if we would masturbate under the table at dinner with him and another couple of MPs - not a difficult offer to refuse! I was going on to study politics after my gap year and my experience totally put me off ever working within that world. First job out of uni in recruitment one of my four male bosses took me to a brothel and tried to persuade me to have a threesome. Was notorious throughout the company for his initiative sessions with new female employees! Worked in a private hospital where a bit of inappropriate propositioning and groping was acceptable, before moving into an independent school where I was told infront of students I looked like the kind of girl who didn’t wear knickers (at this point I was in my late 30s, a senior manager and wearing a floor length skirt at the time!) My complaint barely resulted in a disciplinary despite another member of staff admitting she felt she’d been sexually harassed by him every day for 5 years. He’d also told one female member of staff that he could watch her on camera whenever he wanted.

I don’t think I have issues with boundaries or confidence, or appear like a victim, as some people on here have suggested would explain it.

Now in a wonderful company, predominantly men but all really respectful.

I do think it’s a huge problem but still believe there are many more good men than there are bad. Unfortunately if you work in a company with a lot of men it’s quite likely you might have one bad apple there.

I have. I worked in a call centre when I was 18 and sat at the end of a long row, next to the supervisors desk. I was so shy and used to blush terribly all the time. My supervisor thought that was really funny so he'd put his leg up on my desk and thrust his crotch right in my face. This was while I was trying to speak to customers. Everyone would laugh at how red I was.

I’ve been sexually harassed at work, by colleagues and weirdly a customer. The customer one was quite scary at the time, because I worked evenings in a supermarket and this bloke knew my shift pattern. Ultimately he was barred from the shop by the general manager and I never saw him again. I’ve also reported someone for sh against an underage colleague but that was donkey’s years ago.

I've never experienced it in work but I also work in a female dominated environment.

I'm not sure this thread is very helpful really as it doesn't really matter how many women say they haven't experienced it... the fact is still that it's rife in some professions.

And of course outside of work, you'd get very different responses and I think few women would say no to that.

Sometimes I feel I live on a different planet to everyone else. I've never had to put up with sexual harassment in the workplace because I've never experienced any. Maybe it's because my workplaces have been evenly split or female biased. I do hear sexual jokes sometimes from both sexes but they are things like laughing at unintended innuendo, not implying any form of sexual activity involving any actual person.

Nope, never in any of the many workplaces I've worked in. Many times I've been travelling in a boss's car to clients/meetings/courses, etc., and not a hint of anything untoward, not even risque conversations/comments.

I was talking to my sister about it too, she's been a dental nurse for 40 years which has meant working constantly in close proximity chairside with dentists (mostly male) all those years and she's never once had a dentist been inappropriate with her either and that's in a situation where they're basically within touching distance all day, every day!

Thing is, though, that I'm a "serious" kind of person, I don't flirt at work, have always been "professional" etc., so perhaps I give off a "don't mess with me" vibe??

Never been sexually harassed or had inappropriate comments made to me. I worked with lots of men over the years and never had anything like that.
I have never experienced it on public transport, night club, on the street....

I've been working for nearly 50 years and have never experienced any sexually inappropriate behaviour, and neither has any of my friends.

I think for some people they would include that under harassment. For me I wouldn't, i potentially wouldn't include unwanted advances either as how does anyone ask someone on a date without asking, as long as if you say no they leave it. I am talking inappropriate touching or extreme sexual comments (or worse).

I do think the type of organisation does make a difference also.

38 and never happened to me. Although I am more likely to be seen as the one that they laugh about as am very ugly.