To wonder if there’s a woman who hasn’t put up with unacceptable sexual harassment in the workplace?

[Ponderence]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-66775015

just reading this…..

and actually been thinking about this a lot recently. Have had 3 male bosses in my life. Was thinking that 2 have technically sexually harassed me (putting ice down my top, doing the tongue action between fingers, staring, inuendo comments- all while being ‘nice guys’) the one who didn’t Was seeing a lady in the office. Still work with the latest and to be honest I avoid bei nd alone with him cos I feel uncomfortable around him ( I’m in my 40s I’m not particularly worried about him but likewise I guess I should have to avoid a collleavue because I feel like I might be stared at)

these blokes are married with kids as I’m sure many of these ones are in the article.

are they all doing it? Is my husband sexually harassing people at work? Is theee a woman who hasn’t dealt with this sh*t?

m just realised my title makes it look like some sexual harassment might be acceptable. Obvs I don’t think that.

is the only way of avoiding it by not working with men?

wtf?

Oh, god, was just thinking of career jobs - loads of comments and touching when I worked in a night club as a student (I didn't last long anyway) and when I was a waitress in a pub in my late teens, though the nightclub was much worse. This was early - mid 1990s.

I’m in quasi-academia. Everyone I work with is highly educated. My field is male dominated and I am often the only woman on the team.

the men seem to go out of their way to make sure I feel welcome at this point. Now that may be because I’m an expert on my field and they want me on the team, but if definitely happens.

i don’t recall sexual harassment at any point in my education or career. most of my classes were male dominated and I was often the only woman. Given the statistics, I’ve often wondered if the harassment was actually happening, but I didn’t notice because of my autism. it may have been a shield that allowed me to progress in a male dominated field.

and actually been thinking about this a lot recently. Have had 3 male bosses in my life. Was thinking that 2 have technically sexually harassed me (putting ice down my top, doing the tongue action between fingers, staring, inuendo comments- all while being ‘nice guys’)

I tend to experience a fair amount of sulking and huffing from men when I don’t act like I’m their own personal assistant (which has of course got worse now I’m actually senior to a lot of them). No sexual harassment though, certainly not as blatant as what you describe in the OP.

First job as a trainee lawyer aged 22. Male boss aged 44 asked me to work late. I declined as my boyfriend was travelling to stay for the weekend. He urged me to go home early to get into my 'crotchless panties'. I was dumb struck. Wouldn't be now! Boss was married with teen boys.

Same place. Work party. Male partner told me in detail what he would like to do to me in a smoke filled room. I complained. I was encouraged to withdraw it. I have two girls. I hope things have changed.

I just wanted to say @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche, in no way wanting to dismiss your personal experiences, that there can be very legitimate reasons why a Doctor/medical professional can ask a woman to cough during a vaginal examination.

I haven't been sexually harassed in the workplace but have dealt with sexist behaviour, one notable twazzock who felt the need to make 'Barefoot and pregnant', 'A woman's place is in the kitchen' type comments when I was pregnant, he ended up being sacked for sexually harassing the female apprentices.

Many many many occurrences of getting slower responses to emails than my male colleagues, being spoken over in meetings by male colleagues, having male colleagues swipe my ideas and present them as their own, even had one male manager who said it was my job to make my male colleague look good. He got short shrift in my response when I told him it bloody wasn't, and if my male colleague wasn't capable of making himself look good then maybe he wasn't fit to do the job.

I work in tech and women make up 18% of the U.K. employees in this particular area, went to a conference recently and it was like being in another world, half the vendors (all male) actually slowed down their speech and started using simpler vocabulary when talking to me and my colleague as if we were thick.

I think though as a teenage girl, an older man being interested in you is something you were made to feel grateful for, or certainly was in the 90s

I dunno. I was a teenager in the 90s and while an older man (ie not a teenager) hitting on a teen was more one-of-those- things than the outrage it may be today, it was defiantly not seen as a good thing.
(Not by my mom anyway, lol. Her chuntering about “pervy men” did not encourage anyone.)

Only once and that was a client rather than work colleagues. However I've only worked in a very small business of about 10 people (3 male all partners) and a primary school which is predominantly female. So probably just pure luck! Outside of work .....

On work experience from college the director grabbed me in a corridor and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and he gave me a bad report, said I dressed inappropriately (he seemed to like it when he made vile comments) and said I was late (I wasnt).

Caretaker at college was completely inappropriate with me and it turns out many other girls there.

First full time job at 18 yo, 50 yo senior engineer was extremely inappropriate with his comments and used to give me a hug and grab my bum. He said he knew when I walked in for interview he'd give me the job as I had beautiful eyes. I was hoping it was because I was the right person. He did so many other things but seemed to get away with it as he pretended to not see anything wrong in it and was innocent. I thought it was me,until I grew up.

Worked in a bar for a few months before my first job, so many times there. Customers thought it was fair game and no one ever thought it was inappropriate. Even the landlady's boyfriend tried it on. You were definitely made to feel it was part and parcel of the job. This was late 90s.

New place I have been at for over 20 years, can't think of an incident at work, mostly woman really and the men I work with are lovely. Many instances outside of work though.

In addition to the sexual harassment I have experienced relationships with older men when I was 15-18 and mosy at work either colleagues/clients, they were much older men who clearly knew what they were doing but I thought I was mature and in control. Now it is mortifying to look back on. I was flattered as thought it was nice, 40+ yo me definitely knows it wasn't now.

I worked on reception as a part time job in school hols at my dad's work, there was a rep who called daily, once he got to know my voice if I answered and said 'how can I help you' he'd say stuff like 'suck my cock'. I actually slept with him, I was 15 and he was late 30s. I was probably well into my 30s when I realised how awful it was. I was flattered, he was gorgeous, rich and took me out in fancy cars.

Me. I haven't had SH in workplace.

The closest was negotiating with some engineers (making some things for me with metal lathe) who had a very lewd picture on the wall in their workshop. I wondered what was wrong in their heads that they had that as wall decor in a workplace. But whatevs. Our conversation was ordinary. I had a rather diminished opinion of them for it.

I was leered at by a client I did volunteering for. I feel so sorry for him (that leering at me was his best opportunity) I just sidestepped & shrugged it off. Come to think about, friend had similar when she did some similar volunteering. Our clients are considered to have capacity but 'very vulnerable'.

I worked as a lawyer throughout the 00s in London. I wasn’t sexually harassed as such, but there were incidents that I don’t think would wash these days. I recall the Partner in charge of grad recruitment telling me that if they had to choose between two equally good lawyers and one was “a dog” they would hire “the hot” one as “clients like a pretty face”. I remember feeling like, somehow pleased that I was considered “pretty” which looking back is gross given the effort I’d taken to become a lawyer.
Thing is, he honestly meant it as a compliment I think!
Apart from that it was just low level sexual comments, which all of us, men and women were subjected to, but it wasn’t anything that concerned me. It was actually a great place to work and there were loads of very well respected female partners.

We did get flirted at constantly by barristers and other male employees, but it was always after work in the pub and I enjoyed it to be honest.

I haven't. Of course, it happens, but it's not something I've ever experienced. I do realise how lucky I am.

Perhaps it's because I've always worked in schools and nurseries and I've never worked in one place for very long.

I haven't. I am deeply unattractive so rarely attract any sexually-motivated behaviour.

I'm 60, been working since I was 13.

First time, I was 18, it was the landlord of a pub. The last time I was 47, and it was my COO. In between, it was fairly constant. Maybe once a year in the IT industry. One was so serious I should have called the police, except it was his word against mine, and my boss would have 'redeployed me'.

It's everywhere there are men. 🙁

Yep

1. Boss told me I should come to work wearing a certain pair of trousers because it made my arse look good and slappable.

1. Another boss groping me on the dancefloor at a Christmas party

1. A senior member of the team (in yet another workplace) spiking my drink and r*ping me

Countless lewd comments / "jokes" from various co workers over the years, including a manager showing me the video of 'two girls one cup'

I now WFH permanently, I fought hard for it, and it's the only place I feel truly safe. Even the journey into work was treacherous...the tube is full of perverts. Apart from the usual pressing themselves into my back, I was once offered a seat (I was pregnant)... I happily took the seat, thanked him, only for him to say "you're welcome, as long as you don't mind my groin in your face HAW HAW HAW HAW" and proceeded to stand there, as good as his word, sticking his groin in my face. Needless to say I got off at the next stop.

Ugh that's made me feel quite angry and depressed

Bloody hell this is horrendous . Sorry to hear all of this x. X

It’s got less as I’ve got older
In the 70s and 80s it was seen as ‘banter’
I started to call people out on it as I grew more in confidence
Then thankfully it became less acceptable
Now I only notice that a few people are surprised that I’m in charge and am probably too old n bolshy to be an easy target for harassment

have not RTFT but i used to be in the army so lots and lots of it. Every day.
And since i left, not so much but yep, all the workplaces pre children. After that i wouldn't accept it and reported the idiots to the managing director.

Have never experienced sexual harassment or assault in the workplace. (Nearly 20 year career.)

Out of it is another story.

In my 60s. Worked all my life since 16 and never had any sexual harassment of any description. I am a teacher with male colleagues but before that as a student worked in factories/ shops etc.
Nothing. And it's nothing to do with how l looked seeing some people are attibuting this to their " lack of good looks" which is very sad. .
Actually only once in my whole life had an experience outside work and that was when l was 9 a complete stranger exposed himself to me. I have travelled widely and been part of numerous clubs with men. Its never been an issue.

I was babysitting for my Nanny family one evening. The parents came back after clearly having had a few too many drinks. The Dad sat next to me and touched my boob.

I moved over really quickly, and was really shocked and uncomfortable. He moved next to me whilst his wife laughed and said "don't pretend you don't like it. Why don't you stay over, you can have my bed."

I left at that moment. I never returned.

I was encouraged by other nanny friends to report it but I knew it was absolutely bloody pointless.

My late MIL was at age 13 in 1940.
I was in my younger days, but nothing since working in education so last 25 years
However I think it's clearly still a problem and action needs to be taken to punish this horrific behaviour.

The NHS like most emergency services has a undercurrent of dark humour which largely is to get through what is seen. As with a lot of work places romantic relationships are common, as are affairs, one night stands etc so why these men see the need to come onto woman who don't want it is a mystery. Their is plenty on offer especially with some of the dating apps if that's your thing.

I've been on the receiving end of some really bad attempts at flirting sure, but it wasn't actual sexual harassment. It may be to do with attitudes, if a bloke pinched my bottom in a club or at work I would see it as flirting whilst some would see it as harassment.