To wonder if there’s a woman who hasn’t put up with unacceptable sexual harassment in the workplace?

[Ponderence]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-66775015

just reading this…..

and actually been thinking about this a lot recently. Have had 3 male bosses in my life. Was thinking that 2 have technically sexually harassed me (putting ice down my top, doing the tongue action between fingers, staring, inuendo comments- all while being ‘nice guys’) the one who didn’t Was seeing a lady in the office. Still work with the latest and to be honest I avoid bei nd alone with him cos I feel uncomfortable around him ( I’m in my 40s I’m not particularly worried about him but likewise I guess I should have to avoid a collleavue because I feel like I might be stared at)

these blokes are married with kids as I’m sure many of these ones are in the article.

are they all doing it? Is my husband sexually harassing people at work? Is theee a woman who hasn’t dealt with this sh*t?

m just realised my title makes it look like some sexual harassment might be acceptable. Obvs I don’t think that.

is the only way of avoiding it by not working with men?

wtf?

I have never had this but then I have worked in a very female-led field and one where the men you do get in it don't tend to be what you'd call 'alpha males' (or the sort of men who'd want to identify a such) but I recognise sexual harrassment is endemic in many industries.

No, I started dork in the 70's and it was pretty normal to be harassed then. We all just got on and got over it. 😗

It’s disgusting though isn’t it. When I look back…. I’m not even sure if I told
my mum about instances of SH as a teen but I can’t imagine a daughter and what she’s go through. I have sons and honestly the fear of their potential behaviour (one has Asd too) is awful.

What a sweetly naive point of view you have.

Guessing you weren’t performing surgery with a hard on in your back?

Never been sexually harassed in the workplace, and have worked in two very male dominated industries, construction and engineering.

Late 40's here and all my female friends have experienced sexual harassment at work.
Personally, I've had quite a few incidences of verbal harassment. I remember telling one drunk senior manager that I was going to walk away before he said anything else. I was terrified of where he was going with his comments.

I work in tech and I have never been harassed at work sexually. I’m brown - that perhaps makes me less desirable.

It does seem from the early stages of this thread that many women are not being sexually harassed at work and although I am very surprised by that, it is to be welcomed.

I grew up in the 70s and some of us didn’t just accept it and get in with it. How ridiculous. I’ve been assaulted, cat called, shouted at, harassed by several men over the years. My lecturer at uni was the worst, I ended up leaving because he was constantly trying to feel me up/sleep with me. I reported him and left but nothing was done about it. I think it’s extremely common and was not acceptable back them as much as it’s not acceptable now.

Never happened to me.

I worked (briefly) at one place where a particular employee would regularly get one of the white paper bags we used to wrap the products, twist it so it resembled a sperm, then sneak up to a woman and put it up her skirt. He thought it was hilarious and so did the boss. I always came to work in trousers, and I left as soon as I could find another job. This was in the 1980s.

I work in a male dominated industry and have been subjected to sexual harassment on more than one occasion. Non Disclosures Agreements (NDAs) and confidentiality clauses are used to cover up and perpetuate this type of behaviour. This is what needs to change, or nothing will.

Zelda Perkins (Harvey Weinstein's former PA) has been campaigning for years to have NDAs banned for workplace misconduct, and this was discussed in Parliament last week.

You can get support, and support this cause, by visiting her website - https://www.cantbuymysilence.com

If you click on "Support Us" then please sign the linked petition - as it will help.

I agree it’s not solely about “attractiveness” but it can play a part either way. I’ve known some quite obviously vulnerable women who have felt they were deliberately targeted because the men felt they should feel lucky to get attention since they weren’t known as attractive. So it can work that way too.

I was harassed in the street, trains etc a lot in my 20s, but I wasn’t in the workplace despite presenting the exact same in term of being a slim, youthful looking woman. The difference was in the workplace they were well warned of my rather hardened demeanour, whereas to men in the street I was just a clueless teenage girl ( I used to get child fares until I was 25!)

Younger women aren’t necessarily targeted in the street or in the workplace because they’re prettier though. It’s that they’re seen as easy targets.

I’ve known of a lot of very conventionally attractive women in the workplace who have been admired and favoured by male colleagues but not in such a way to constitute sexual harassment. I have a close friend who has men falling over her everywhere and random men & women telling her how gorgeous she is .

I used to work with her and she just doesn’t get harassed. She got asked out sometimes by male admirers in a respectful way and got privileged treatment in the workplace due to being stunning (which is sad ) but not harassed in her career ever according to her.

I think it’s partly because of the work environments I’ve worked in just didn’t tolerate that, so most women I know irrespective of appearance haven’t faced sexual harassment in the workplace.

All of us women here in my department in the NHS have been harrassed within the last 5 years whether by patients or other staff. Even us old ones, I'm 61 and one of my younger colleagues showed me his penis.
I've had a lifetime of this shit and I'm sick of it.

Well this is horrendous. And illegal no ?

It’s never happened to me.

I don't think that has anything to do with it, I'm 61 and have been harrassed by a much younger male colleague. I'm overweight too. It doesn't seem to deter them.
Maybe they think they'll get into more trouble if they abuse a person of colour - who knows.

Regularly for the past 30-odd years.

The last time about 6 years ago when a guy at an industry event shoved his hand up my skirt.

I'm 58.

I've had sexual harassment frequently but only once or twice in the workplace - one example was indirect - someone used a sexist term to refer to me in a meeting I wasn't present at and also several senior male members of staff took bets on who could shag me. That was appalling and I only heard about it as another colleague told me, horrified. And about 25 years ago.

Another time I was at a big work dinner and a guest on our table rubbed his knee against mine - for too long to be accidental. That was nearly ten years ago.

Loads and loads of examples from outside work though of harassment and assault, on nights out and just going about my business in the day time. Hasn't happened for ages thank god in my 40s.

I’ve never been sexually harassed at work by anyone.

I would imagine that most women of my age have been harassed at least once in the workplace and I doubt that things have significantly changed.

Yes, I have been sexually harassed at work although not in the last 20 years.

30 years ago I put in a formal complaint about someone and was told to stop being a feminist! Also got sacked 34 years ago as they suspected I was a lesbian.

At least times have changed a bit. It's so depressing.

I'm not surprised about surgeons - the men that harassed me at work were senior partners in a law firm and the knee rubber was a senior barrister.

Some men with money and seniority think they can get away with anything.

No it's not illegal to silence victims of harassment or discrimination in perpetuity, but it definitely should be. If you've signed an NDA you can report what happened to the police, but you can't warn a work colleague or discuss it with a friend.