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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just chucked partners clothes in the bin

157 replies

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:23

Been with DP 5 years. Good as gold usually but I've had enough of picking up after him all the time. Asked him to put the new bedsheets on and he said he will in a minute. Half an hour later, he's still sat on his phone. He's also permanently got a pile of clothes on the floor next to his bed with a bunch of crap he can't be bothered to put into drawers.

Another thing, he recently came back from a golf holiday and left a whole load of washing in our spare room, some needing washing, some ironing. Been repeatedly asking him for 3 days to do something with it, and today I've just got so fed up, I got all the clothes from the floor and spare bedroom and put them in a bin bag and chucked them in the bin. He went absolutely crazy but I am at my wits end of having to tell him to clean up after himself!

OP posts:
Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:32

Bump

OP posts:
Xrays · 11/09/2023 20:33

You’ll get a ton of replies telling you how unreasonable you are but I have to admire you. 😆🙈

something2say · 11/09/2023 20:34

Well done.

Next, buy a linen bin and just stick everything of his in there, clean or dirty. He can then sort it.

PerfectMatch · 11/09/2023 20:35

Good for you OP. Personally I'd just let the clothes sit there until he ran out of clean clothes!

ConnieTucker · 11/09/2023 20:36

How is he good as gold usually? Whats the share of labour in the home?

ConnieTucker · 11/09/2023 20:37

PerfectMatch · 11/09/2023 20:35

Good for you OP. Personally I'd just let the clothes sit there until he ran out of clean clothes!

This. Same for my children. If not in the washbasket they dont get washed.

AdoraBell · 11/09/2023 20:38

Well done 👍

LusaBatoosa · 11/09/2023 20:39

Why not just leave it?

MoxieFox · 11/09/2023 20:39

I think it’s a good way to make a point. His clothes were not damaged or actually taken by the bin men. He presumably has retrieved the bin bag of clothes.

Has he always been so slovenly? If he has I’m amazed it took 5yrs for you to get to this point, you must have the patience of a saint.

Most men aren’t like this. You don’t have to put up with it.

Rosebyanothername19 · 11/09/2023 20:40

I completely get where you are coming from and this does sound like something I would do in the heat of the moment.

However, the fact you actually binned them might make you a tad unreasonable. Especially as he will just be annoyed at you for that, rather than actually considering what he is doing or changing his ways at all.

It might have been a better idea to put them in a bin bag outside or next to the washing machine and just keep adding to it. Can you get the bag out of the bin or is it a gonner?

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:42

Rosebyanothername19 · 11/09/2023 20:40

I completely get where you are coming from and this does sound like something I would do in the heat of the moment.

However, the fact you actually binned them might make you a tad unreasonable. Especially as he will just be annoyed at you for that, rather than actually considering what he is doing or changing his ways at all.

It might have been a better idea to put them in a bin bag outside or next to the washing machine and just keep adding to it. Can you get the bag out of the bin or is it a gonner?

He's been pre warned on so many occasions, anything left on the floor will be binned as it obviously is seen as rubbish. I've never gone through with it until now, makes me feel like I have child living with me sometimes

OP posts:
Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:43

LusaBatoosa · 11/09/2023 20:39

Why not just leave it?

Looking at it makes me angry so I didn't have a choice Grin

OP posts:
Rosebyanothername19 · 11/09/2023 20:49

Ah OK. Well if you told him numerous times that's what you would do and then followed through then you are definitely not being unreasonable and I applaud you!

It does definitely sound like living with a child...

Is he still angry with you?

LusaBatoosa · 11/09/2023 21:06

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:43

Looking at it makes me angry so I didn't have a choice Grin

Fair enough! 🤣🤣🤣

uhOhOP · 11/09/2023 21:09

Good! It's so tiring to ask and ask and ask for one simple thing to be done in a somewhat timely fashion.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 11/09/2023 21:14

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:23

Been with DP 5 years. Good as gold usually but I've had enough of picking up after him all the time. Asked him to put the new bedsheets on and he said he will in a minute. Half an hour later, he's still sat on his phone. He's also permanently got a pile of clothes on the floor next to his bed with a bunch of crap he can't be bothered to put into drawers.

Another thing, he recently came back from a golf holiday and left a whole load of washing in our spare room, some needing washing, some ironing. Been repeatedly asking him for 3 days to do something with it, and today I've just got so fed up, I got all the clothes from the floor and spare bedroom and put them in a bin bag and chucked them in the bin. He went absolutely crazy but I am at my wits end of having to tell him to clean up after himself!

I’ve done the same. Dh got the message loud and clear that I wasn’t going to tolerate being ignored or living in a shit tip of a house, nor was I going to be his replacement mum. 36 years later and still together.

vipersnest1 · 11/09/2023 21:16

Good for you, @Timeforchange13. You're his partner, not his PA.

MagpiePi · 11/09/2023 21:17

Don’t blame you!

Why do so many posters think buying a nice linen basket and putting all his clothes in it is a suitable solution in these situations ? It’s still just tidying up after the lazy man child him.

TawnyLarue · 11/09/2023 21:19

🫤 I mean I get the impatience but it seems a total overreaction to me. Imagine he had done that to your clothes. People would be calling him abusive and all sorts.

Because to be honest it is a bit. He’s an adult he’s not one of your children.

Birdie8989 · 11/09/2023 21:20

I feel your pain, my husband is similar. I got a seat with storage for my dressing table, and everything of his left out gets thrown in there now.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 11/09/2023 21:24

Good for you!

DontMakeMeShushYou · 11/09/2023 21:28

Well, assuming he has retrieved them and they are undamaged, then YANBU. A bit childish but not unreasonable.

If they've actually been binned and are irretrievable then YABVVVU, utterly disrespectful and soon-to-be single.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 21:30

If he wants his clothes on the floor let him

You aren't his mother
I'm so glad I live alone , I. Oils t be doing with someone telling me what to do all the time

I put my.clothes on the floor sometimes and I tidy when I want

And I like it !

Catusrusty · 11/09/2023 21:33

You're very reasonable OP.

I'd have burnt them

AmazingSnakeHead · 11/09/2023 21:36

if my partner did this to me, I would leave them.

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