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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just chucked partners clothes in the bin

157 replies

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:23

Been with DP 5 years. Good as gold usually but I've had enough of picking up after him all the time. Asked him to put the new bedsheets on and he said he will in a minute. Half an hour later, he's still sat on his phone. He's also permanently got a pile of clothes on the floor next to his bed with a bunch of crap he can't be bothered to put into drawers.

Another thing, he recently came back from a golf holiday and left a whole load of washing in our spare room, some needing washing, some ironing. Been repeatedly asking him for 3 days to do something with it, and today I've just got so fed up, I got all the clothes from the floor and spare bedroom and put them in a bin bag and chucked them in the bin. He went absolutely crazy but I am at my wits end of having to tell him to clean up after himself!

OP posts:
pictoosh · 11/09/2023 21:43

I leave my clothes in a pile on the floor beside my bed. If we had a spare room I'd undoubtedly leave clothes to sort in there too.
If you put my clothes in the bin we'd have a big fight.

pictoosh · 11/09/2023 21:45

Especially if you had 'warned me' you were going to. Who do you think you are?

blackbeardsballsack · 11/09/2023 21:46

LusaBatoosa · 11/09/2023 20:39

Why not just leave it?

I tried this with my ex and just ended up surrounded by his stupid piles of clothes and felt like I lived in the back room of a charity shop.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 11/09/2023 21:49

My colleague seemed surprised the other day at my admission that I don't put DH's clothes away but I got fed up of it so I leave them in a box by his bed. Same with DD's but it's one of her jobs to put her clean washing away. I used to iron it all but not anymore. Even if DH brings up all the washing he folds it then leaves it all on my bed 🤣. You're brave though. Once I left DHs trainers outside because I got sick of him not putting them away and he hit the roof.

Maray1967 · 11/09/2023 21:54

I chuck anything left on floors in the bottom of his wardrobe. No way will I live with clothes etc strewn on the floor.

INeedAnotherName · 11/09/2023 21:55

Good for you OP. Hopefully he's learnt his lesson. I also hope you have stopped washing his clothes if they aren't in the wash basket too.

After 30 odd years of tidying up after my lazy DH I have started throwing everything of his under the stairs (it's his camping cupboard anyway). Doesnt matter if its unopened post from 2 months ago or toilet rolls or sweet wrappers (don't ask). Funny how he's starting to be a little less messy...

WandaWonder · 11/09/2023 22:15

I would just do my own washing and leave him to it, why not just ignore it?

No I don't think you deserve a medal it is nothing to do with you

RantyAnty · 11/09/2023 22:42

Well done.
He just got consequences to his shit behavior.

Datgal · 11/09/2023 22:46

I just came here to say 👏

swimlyn · 11/09/2023 22:59

pictoosh · 11/09/2023 21:45

Especially if you had 'warned me' you were going to. Who do you think you are?

I would think that I am most definitely an equal partner worthy of respectful treatment and of course both of us to have our fair shares of the household work necessary to keep the place reasonably nice.

In this regrettable situation who would YOU think you are @pictoosh ?

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 23:00

Thanks everyone. I took some time out as needed a breather and he came and apologised. Washed all his clothes and ironed them. They are now nicely washed and hanging up in the airing cupboard.
Sometimes you just have to put them in their place. I do not tolerate being treated like I'm his mother Grin

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 11/09/2023 23:03

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 23:00

Thanks everyone. I took some time out as needed a breather and he came and apologised. Washed all his clothes and ironed them. They are now nicely washed and hanging up in the airing cupboard.
Sometimes you just have to put them in their place. I do not tolerate being treated like I'm his mother Grin

You act like his mother with this

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 23:06

@wandawonder Ah just realised my comment looks as though I washed his clothes and ironed them. I most definitely did not, he ended up doing it almost immediately

OP posts:
CruCru · 11/09/2023 23:10

I remember someone who used to say “God, it looks like a dosshouse in here” (I am quite old). Having piles and piles of clothes lying around makes a house look like a dosshouse - like the people who live there are dirty and don’t mind that the house is chaotic and ugly.

People pay quite a lot for their housing. It’s a total waste to leave piles of clothes lying around.

I suspect that it’s got to this point because you’ve been “nice” and tolerant.

TawnyLarue · 11/09/2023 23:11

Sometimes you just have to put them in their place

urgh.

why are so many people married to people they clearly don’t like?

sad.

PickAChew · 11/09/2023 23:11

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 23:00

Thanks everyone. I took some time out as needed a breather and he came and apologised. Washed all his clothes and ironed them. They are now nicely washed and hanging up in the airing cupboard.
Sometimes you just have to put them in their place. I do not tolerate being treated like I'm his mother Grin

Did he wash his own clothes?

If there is a fair division of labour that includes you doing the majority of the laundry then you still shouldn't tolerate him leaving stuff lying around and expecting you to pick it up. You're his partner, not his carer.

If he wants it washing, it goes into the laundry basket (and if he doesn't want stuff ruining, he checks the pockets, first.)

RantyAnty · 11/09/2023 23:14

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 23:00

Thanks everyone. I took some time out as needed a breather and he came and apologised. Washed all his clothes and ironed them. They are now nicely washed and hanging up in the airing cupboard.
Sometimes you just have to put them in their place. I do not tolerate being treated like I'm his mother Grin

Well done. Hopefully that'll be the last time he treats you and his home with disrespect.

PickAChew · 11/09/2023 23:14

And yeah, I realised after I posted that he did his own washing. Thank goodness for the edit!

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/09/2023 23:15

Timeforchange13 · 11/09/2023 20:43

Looking at it makes me angry so I didn't have a choice Grin

Ah, he made you do it 🙄

You were angry and had no control of your actions. Very reasonable and bound to be applauded on here.

CruCru · 11/09/2023 23:27

It’s been 33C here. Having someone else’s stinking golf gear lying around would make me angry too. The smell just gets into your nostrils and doesn’t go away.

LightSpeeds · 11/09/2023 23:34

Well done you.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/09/2023 23:35

something2say · 11/09/2023 20:34

Well done.

Next, buy a linen bin and just stick everything of his in there, clean or dirty. He can then sort it.

Yes I agree with that

user1477391263 · 11/09/2023 23:36

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 21:30

If he wants his clothes on the floor let him

You aren't his mother
I'm so glad I live alone , I. Oils t be doing with someone telling me what to do all the time

I put my.clothes on the floor sometimes and I tidy when I want

And I like it !

Weird response. If you live by yourself, go ahead and be a pig. This man LIVES WITH someone. If you live with someone, it's rude to clutter up the home with mess and refuse to clean it up.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/09/2023 23:36

MagpiePi · 11/09/2023 21:17

Don’t blame you!

Why do so many posters think buying a nice linen basket and putting all his clothes in it is a suitable solution in these situations ? It’s still just tidying up after the lazy man child him.

Edited

It's just getting his stuff out of sight so it's not an eye sore

VeridicalVagabond · 11/09/2023 23:39

I truly do not know how so many women can stay romantically and sexually attracted to these "men" while simultaneously playing mummy to them.

If I had to warn my husband that if he didn't do some basic chore he'd be punished like a 7 year old, or buy him his own special fucking linen basket, I think my vagina would permanently seal itself shut.

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