To not want to ask for my money back!

[KeepingItTogether23]

Lent my friend some money last week, not much just £30 to get her through Thursday and Friday with the promise she would transfer it straight back Saturday morning.
Its Monday morning, she hasnt transferred it!
I absolutely HATE having to ask for money back.

Is it unreasonable for me to think I shouldnt have to, we made an arrangement and she should have just transferred it Saturday like agreed off her own back?!

Nobody has, at any point, suggested a grovelling apology is required from the OPs friend. What has been said is that the friend should, at the very least, have acknowledged her lateness if not apologised for the OP having to chase it up.

A simple "Sorry I didn't send it on Saturday it totally slipped my mind! Have sent it now, thanks again" would have sufficed.

She clearly expected you to let her keep it. How rude she is. And sneaky. Asks you to lend her money and then puts you in the position of having to chase her for it which is simply not on. This is not how a friend behaves.

The mental gymnastics that some people will do to avoid paying back money they owe knows no bounds.

Ask ASAP as the longer you leave reminder your friend the harder it will be. And agree with others, don't lend her anymore money! Good luck

Don't lend out money again. Your budget is tight and you can't afford to be missing the money even for one day.

Why would you let it go if you could afford it? You loaned. With terms. If you can gift it then do just that, gift it.

You might want to read OP's updates, she's paid the money back

It's horrible having to ask for a loan to be repaid. On the few occasions I've lent money I've had to chase it. Whether you can afford to throw away £30 is irrelevant. She asked, you lent, she promised. I think if she's bold enough to not pay, you can be bold enough to ask for it. I don't lend money now, nor books. In fact, I don't lend or borrow at all. It isn't worth the aggro. Good luck.

I had a friend who was a nightmare for this. It was only ever smell amounts but it was a pattern. She often forgot her purse or realised she didn’t have her debit card in her bag and could someone get her a drink and she will transfer cash over. Only she never did transfer money probably knowing most people would think ‘oh it’s only a fiver’ or whatever. But when you realise she’s doing same thing with all of our friendship group then you think ‘no she’s a grifter’

I don't lend money now, nor books.

Agree. Lending out books is a definite no.

Hmm. I think you just have to be direct and ask!

A friend of mine keeps asking me to send her money… she has family and they are good but will never ask them and always me. Tonight I had to ignore the phone knowing it was coming. She never gives it me back.

So after this I’d start saying no that you can’t afford to.

Ridiculous. She did forget

Definitely DON’T mention putting in back in your savings account. She will just think you can afford to lose from money that is simply sitting there. Ask for it back. You don’t need to give explanations or excuses for asking for your own money back. Then don’t lend again.

I once lent an extremely rich and v famous person £20 for something I ordered for them. They took bank details to transfer money and never did. It still bugs me. I didn’t ask.

@Toomuchtrouble4me who was it?😆😆

This massively pisses me off. Nobody should ever have to ask for someone to pay them money back. Its like a power thing. On the few occasions I have owed someone money (they've paid for both our tickets for event for example) I'm returning their money immediately or hassling them if they don't send bank details over! Can't believe people have the audacity to just not give a fuck about paying someone back.

I’ve lost friends doing exactly this, and have learned my lesson now - no lending to anyone, if I want to help them I’ll give them what I can afford to give as a gift then forget about it.

For some reason, when people owe you money, they get resentful and feel angry at you when you have the temerity to very nicely ask for it back as agreed, then avoid you and the friendship never recovers. Especially if they think “you can afford it”. I lent money to 5 different people before I learned the pattern, and only 1 person paid me back as agreed without prompting.

I don’t understand why people are being arses about OP mentioning her savings account.

Some people manage to save even tiny amounts which all all up rather than living to their hilt - what is wrong with that?

Never a lender nor borrower be etc ….

I have been asked to lend money to one ex friend who always paid me back but knew I had money. Another ex best friend asked me to get a mobile phone out in her name as she had bad credit, I think it was eventually transferred to her name and the contract cancelled. Some people just assume and take the piss when it comes to money as they can’t manage it themselves.

I don’t judge that as I’ve had loans and credit cards in the past. But borrowing or lending money from
friends or relatives never ends well. My nana who was wealthy always said only give money as a gift, never lend it. She’d been stung too many times in the past by “friends” borrowing money or her lending them money.

For a start, friend has not ‘borrowed’ if she does pay it back. OP is not being petty. The friend should organise her finances. If she needed to borrow she should have gone to her bank for a loan.

It's not petty to expect money back from someone who has borrowed it! That is the whole concept of lending money. If friend had said "can you give me £30", I'm sure OP would have said "on your bike!".

Very ill-mannered friend to not pay back when she said she would and for not explaining and apologising for delay or just saying "thank you"!