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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to ask for my money back!

172 replies

KeepingItTogether23 · 11/09/2023 09:22

Lent my friend some money last week, not much just £30 to get her through Thursday and Friday with the promise she would transfer it straight back Saturday morning.
Its Monday morning, she hasnt transferred it!
I absolutely HATE having to ask for money back.

Is it unreasonable for me to think I shouldnt have to, we made an arrangement and she should have just transferred it Saturday like agreed off her own back?!

OP posts:
Nutterjacks · 11/09/2023 19:06

StormInaDcup99 · 11/09/2023 09:29

Maybe message her something along these lines

Hi friend....Hope you had a good weekend

Thanks for saying you'd send me back that 30 quid on Saturday. I think there might have been an issue with your bank as the £30 hasn't come through just yet on my side. Thanks a lot x

This way you're not blaming her.....and she has a get out and can blame bank

THIS!

Oysterbabe · 11/09/2023 19:08

Has she read the message?
I maybe wouldn't have mentioned savings, makes it clear you don't need it right now (not that that should matter)

Original poster
KeepingItTogether23 · 11/09/2023 19:17

Not showing as read but pretty sure she would have seen that I have messaged, cant see her last seen on whatsapp

OP posts:
CrazyHamsterLady · 11/09/2023 19:24

I’m really annoyed on your behalf OP, I hate people who do this. You shouldn’t feel bad for asking for your money back, yet CFers like this somehow manage to make people like you feel bad for asking for your money back. I hope you get it back soon.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/09/2023 20:18

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/09/2023 09:24

I agrée with the first response. And don’t lend her money again.

Agree

dunkery · 11/09/2023 20:20

If she mentions anything about your savings account tell her "I use my savings account for the elec/gas/rent etc due soon and now I am £30 short."

Kattitude · 11/09/2023 21:43

Maybe she genuinely forgot?

Mememe1234 · 11/09/2023 21:44

i would of said something like this.

I couldn’t see the £30 comeback into my account. Just wanted to check you sent it.

Also, did she borrow the money because she didn’t have it and needed to wait to be paid or because she needed cash to pay for something there and then?

readbooksdrinktea · 11/09/2023 21:51

MsRosley · 11/09/2023 10:55

Personally I would let it go but that's only because I can afford to lose £30 and I'm also assuming that she is a really good friend.

No one who breaks a promise and pockets £30 without a word is a 'really good friend'.

She doesn't sound like a friend at all let alone a good one.

CF more like it.

ThisNameWillDoFine · 11/09/2023 21:52

On WhatsApp, highlight the message you sent her... then click on the 3 dots in top right of screen and click info. You can see if she has read the message on preview.
I would hate asking for the money too.

Hummingbird89 · 11/09/2023 21:53

YANBU.

Pumpernickles · 11/09/2023 22:28

You know the old adage, the fastest way to lose a friend is to lend them money...?

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 11/09/2023 22:31

Never lend money that you are not prepared to lose

I am currently about £1,000 down, on money that I have “lent” people who needed it. Maybe one day they will pay it back, maybe they won’t. It’s a risk that I know I take, and my choice to do so, and their decision to repay it or not, is their choice to make.

Gmary20 · 11/09/2023 23:25

Can't you just write it off? If she's struggling that much with money that she needs to borrow £30 quid I would just give it to her and not expect it back. She probably hasn't given it back to you as she doesn't have it and is embarrassed or out of options.

If your going to be petty and ask her for it back, do the descent thing and just ask her upfront. Don't be passive aggressive as many other people have suggested, by saying "oh has the bank lost the payment?" or sending ... on her message saying she would pay it back. That's childish.

Gmary20 · 11/09/2023 23:26

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Hummingbird89 · 11/09/2023 23:32

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meganorks · 11/09/2023 23:33

Several times i've thought I'd paid someone but there is a final confirmation page with my online banking that I seem to miss (I think I've finally got it now before I get a telling off!). So while it is likely your friend is pulling a fast one, just ask her to pay you!

Webmeister999 · 11/09/2023 23:46

An aquaintance owed me money once when I was in their car and it broke down. He didnt have enough for the breakdown truck. He was a uni lecturer (so good salary) and I a student (not his uni) so in very different financial positions. After asking twice for the money back I asked his GF to remind him. The money was put through my door next day. I made sure neverto lend him money or do him a favour again.

Original poster
KeepingItTogether23 · 11/09/2023 23:49

@Gmary20 I'm not being petty at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
KeepingItTogether23 · 11/09/2023 23:52

@meganorks I have asked her for it, she hasnt replied.

OP posts:
mumda · 12/09/2023 00:24

Cost you £30 to find out what sort of person she is.

Hairballing · 12/09/2023 02:02

when are you due to see her next?

blisstwins · 12/09/2023 02:43

This. And saying you need it for your savings is going to make her think she is ok I’m not sending because you don’t really NEED it.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 12/09/2023 02:47

“I really need that money back pls. It wasn’t a gift.”

Luciferspickles · 12/09/2023 03:05

Stop lending people money.