To not want to ask for my money back!

[KeepingItTogether23]

Lent my friend some money last week, not much just £30 to get her through Thursday and Friday with the promise she would transfer it straight back Saturday morning.
Its Monday morning, she hasnt transferred it!
I absolutely HATE having to ask for money back.

Is it unreasonable for me to think I shouldnt have to, we made an arrangement and she should have just transferred it Saturday like agreed off her own back?!

I have text her saying, could you let me know when you transfer that money please so I can put it back into my savings account please

Never mention it's for savings as people think that it's 'spare' and you have it to lose. You'd never think that people use savings to get every little bit of interest that you can, or that they can be used as a mortgage offset.

I'm amazed at the over thinking here. Just quick text to remind her that she owes you £30. Doesn't need to be an issue. Suspect she's just forgotten.

She has paid now.

She obviously thought she'd got away with it.

ALWAYS ask for your money back.

I once leant my boss a fiver many years ago (he said he'd pay me back next day). When he didn't pay, I asked him for it a couple of days later.

It wasn't so much about the money, as I give more than that to charity each month. It was the principal of someone being paid much more than me but didn't think to pay me back.

Why is it obvious she "thought she got away with it"?

Because she was supposed to have transferred it by Saturday morning but didn't, and says she hadn't forgotten. As she didn't forget and didn't message OP about the delay, it's obvious she thought she could just keep it.

Saturday means Saturday, not Tuesday. If you would do the same then you've no respect for your friends. It was a big deal when she had to ask for the £30 wasn't it? Vile attitude

You don't need to explain OP. It's your money and you should have it back without asking.

I never lend anyone money. I was caught several times when I was younger- once by a good friend who didn't pay me back £200 that I loaned her when I was working extra jobs to pay my mortgage. She just stopped contacting me or answering phone calls. My cat was ill and I had to borrow £200 from my parents to pay her vet bills. Lesson learned and I never lend money- not that anyone asks these days.

And God only knows when she would have paid it back if OP didn't ask.
I agree it's not nice to think "ah sure I'll just pay it whenever...." that wasn't the arrangement!

OP, now you've told her you've got savings. 🤷

Glad you got your money back though.

So what was that word doing in this message from you? -

"There is also the third type of person who thinks it's perfectly OK to ask for the money back but very petty to make such a big deal about it and the fact it was a couple of days late and to expect a grovelling apology for a couple of days lateness."

Don't be silly enough to try to pretend you didn't intend that to refer to OP.

You're right but it got into my head too much so l let it go. Friendship did change but at least l wasn't thinking about it and watching her spending.
That's why, now l am totally against lending money as the dynamics change and the relationship is not the same.
Lesson learnt.

The word is there because people are acting like she should have made a grovelling apology. She has repaid the money and while it was a couple of days later than OP was expecting it wouldn't be a huge deal to most people.

As I said, I don't borrow money so wouldn't do the same. If I lent money to a friend and they didn't pay me back until I asked or a couple of days late, I would just assume they had forgotten. If anything is a “vile attitude” or shows lack of respect for friends it is assuming they would deliberately try to take money from you. It's a bit sad that to think your friends would steal from you.

She meant she hadn't forgotten she owed the money. Maybe she doesn't remember that she said she would transfer it on Saturday.

So she hadn't forgotten that she owed this money but was just going to wait around for days before sending it?

You are really reaching here, Wombling. It's super quick to send money, if she intended to send it she would have sent it, because she acknowledges she didn't forget.

I'm not “reaching”. I just don't think it's a huge deal that she sent it on Monday rather than Saturday.

But she had to be reminded to send it, and she didn’t even apologise for sending it late. Her message was abrupt, likely because she knows OP is a soft touch and would be unlikely to ask for the money.

No, you said she expected a grovelling apology. How is that any different?

Now you're rewriting the story @WomblingTree86 to suit your own agenda. She repaid it on TUESDAY after a reminder from the op.

And not one person in this thread, including @KeepingItTogether23, has said they expect a grovelling apology - merely a thanks for the loan, sorry I'm later than expected repaying it.

@WomblingTree86 is definitely the friend 😂

Does the fact that she paid early on Tuesday morning rather than Monday make any difference.🙄

She should have paid it on Saturday, as she said she would, or let OP know that it was coming later and when. No one should have to ask for their money back.