To have walked out the car dealership after this blatant rudeness, perhaps sexism?

[Sorentolove]

DH and I went to upgrade our shared family car (I drive it 80% of the time) at the local dealership.

The car was purchased 4 years ago at another (same brand) dealership and we're coming to the end of the Lease.

It was purchased under his name, this one will be purchased under my name.

The appointment was made in his name.

We arrived slightly ahead of time and we're greeted pleasantly, offered coffees and waited for the staff member. Another pleasant staff member passed by and had a brief chat with us both.

Our fellow came up to us at the wait area introduced himself to my DH, shook his hand, and started talking about the car we'd expressed an interest in.

Rather taken aback at being ignored, I stood up, offered my hand and introduced myself as Mrs SLove.

He shook my hand and guided us to his desk where we talked for a couple of minutes about the car, then he said he'd get the keys and then show us the vehicle.

DH and I looked at each other and we saw we were on the same page that this branch did not deserve our money and we decided to leave.

I caught the manager's eye on the way out and explained our disappointment.

He was furious and tried to convince us to stay, even stopping us as we were driving off the car park. We were resolute though, and they lost a sale.

Wwbu?

‘Edwardian introductions of women’ - please, you know it has nothing to do with sex. If you’re meeting someone, and bring along a third person unannounced, it is entirely normal and polite to introduce the new person.

I bet it was actually PCP.

Unfortunately, I think it is more a case of you who is not 'getting it', let me explain- I don't agree with stripping a woman of her right to respect and courtesy because she uses the 'Mrs' title to introduce herself. I don't think all married women exist to be subjugated as they have forfeited their right to equality when they chose, 'chose' to get married, just because 'marriage', in some eyes, is a tumble from the moral high ground! Are you honestly suggesting any crappy treatment of a married woman that uses her DH's surname is 'fair game'? What is your point as it all seems a bit vague and desperate with the resort to insults!

There you go again @Goldenbear. Rudely arguing a point that hasn't even been made. Nobody has "honestly suggested" any such thing, as you'd know if you'd actually understood any of the posts you're railing against.
Btw, who has insulted you?

This one

This one

This one

There are many others with their simplistic feminist credentials but this is a bit boring.

How is my post suggesting she is fair game for ‘crappy treatment’….?

The OP is trying to teach the car salesman a lesson about sexism. Good! I 100% support her in that, and as I said in the post you quoted, him not acknowledging her is appalling.

Then introducing herself with Mrs Husband’s Surname completely undermines her message.

As I say, never in nearly 20 years of marriage, have I introduced myself as Mrs Cecil - even though it’s my name. And I certainly wouldn’t if I was trying to teach a sexist man not to be so sexist.

Why she didn’t just say, ‘I’m Jane’, or ‘I’m Jane Blogs’ is beyond me.

Look, the OP’s even admitted upthread that it was a bit of an odd thing to do, so…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Here, see? ☝️

Yes, you were ignored from the start. Would it have hurt for him to greet you as he had greeted your DH? Obviously it would have. So what the appointment was in your partner's name? Again would it have hurt to greet you as well? Good for both of you for taking your money elsewhere

Ultimately noone can really judge a human unteraction is nuanced.

I think the fact OP didng stand when approached and there was no indication of sexism following the introduction I'd lean towards mistake i.e didn't think you were together.

Incidentally, when i was buying a car recently I did a lot of people watching whilst waiting (I went to a lot of garages) and there are still a lot of women who don't greet assertivly when their male counterpart will greet assertivly.

I remember thinking about it in depth i.e is it social conditioning that historically girls arent taught to sake hands like boys? Or is it that a lot of women still see car buying as mans work.

YANBU. I don't understand people here fixating on who made the appointment/who will be financing the car; obviously if you're met by two people you say hello to both of them.

It was rude of him not to greet you, but sometimes people do these stupid things. It’s something to roll your eyes at, sure, but you massively overreacted.

I've had a worse experience. I went to look at a new car for myself, and DH tagged along. The salesman directed all conversation to DH until he pointed out I was the one looking for a car. Then later when I said I'd think about it, the salesman turned to DH and said, 'Ah, would you not just buy her a car?' At least DH told him I had my own money and would buy what I wanted.

Welcome to the car industry.... mostly all the sales men and service men out there barely acknowledge a female in their showroom. This is coming from a female that owns a high end car, that knows more about the car then they do, as all they actually know is what is written in a booklet. The stories I could actually tell people are hurrendous that I have dealt with over the years. You wouldn't think we are in the year of 2023

You sound like a nightmare.

You made the appointment under your DH’s name and that’s most likely why he greeted your H.

It sounds like a simple mistake that you’re choosing to blow up into something that it isn’t.

Yes he should have acknowledged you but the appt was in your husbands name. Why was it sexism? Think you may have misread the situation.

Is that it?

Have read only the OPs replies. How utterly ridiculous. It was booked in your DHs name. The car game is absolutely ruthless about customer service and he's probably been given a really hard time if not a written warning by his manager for this. My husband worked in the car game for many years and people like this made his job hell. Just because they are there to serve you doesn't mean you have the right to make them feel like crap and not give another chance. Remember there is a human at the end of your actions just trying to make a living.

I had this when I’d booked a sales appointment for double glazing and the salesman totally ignored me and started to address my plumber! After a while I told him who the mr was and that it was my house and I’d made the appointment, I then told him to leave and tell his firm not to contact me again!

YABVU. appointment made I husband's name. trade-in vehicle in husband/s name. you introduced yourself with reference to husband (mrs X). they are not mind readers.

My gosh how on earth do you survive in life if you are this easily offended 🤦🏽 This is the least wrong post I have ever seen on here and that's saying something!!!

Men rarely if ever get ignored. Odd, that.

For gods sake , the world today , the sales person probably had a million other things on his mind , and all other details were in a MANS name - so he introduced himself to the man , talk about being precious!