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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a training tomorrow and my 16 dd has just been sick

175 replies

Pinktrousers2020 · 09/09/2023 03:47

She has d&v like I had the last couple of days. I have a training all day, what would you do ? Stay with her or go ? I was really sick with it at first. I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
Webmeister999 · 09/09/2023 11:05

Until recently young people of 16 were allowed to marry so a 16 year old is competent to manage for a few hours while you go to a training event. As other posters upthread have pointed out if you believe you are still infectious that would be your "out" with your employer - not leaving a young adult on her own.

ilovesooty · 09/09/2023 11:29

Appleontherocks · 09/09/2023 10:15

"Wow, I’ve really touched a nerve haven’t I? For(check notes) suggesting that a sick 16 year old can manage for 8 hours whilst mummy is out at work."

Yes I take the emotional neglect of children seriously. I have to
I'm the one who tries to help them when they get into trouble because they come from a home with parents either too focused on their vices, their relationships or their work. As my population becomes more gentrified, more and more of these rich but neglected children are requiring mental health and social support due to poor and neglectful parenting by parents who just want out

A shame you don't appear to take client confidentiality seriously.

TwoShades1 · 09/09/2023 12:39

DoughnutDreams · 09/09/2023 10:04

I keep emesis bags in the bathroom, so no one needs to make this decision! (Available on Amazon).

Show quote history

Top idea. We have a proper plastic lidded bin next to the toilet for sanitary products or toilet rolls. Comes in handy at times like this. My policy is if in doubt sit on toilet and grab bin. Nothing worse then cleaning up when you feel sick.

LaydeeDi · 09/09/2023 16:09

sleepyscientist · 09/09/2023 08:44

@LaydeeDi actually it moving into a more D&V like bug is a good thing! OP I wouldn't want to leave her but would break the 48hr rule for an essential course. Can anyone sit with her?

How do you figure that out? A D&V like bug is much harder to deal with than the mild cold they said it would be.

AllyArty · 10/09/2023 18:13

Stay with her. 💐

sydneyinsummer · 10/09/2023 18:15

some of you just stop being parents as soon as your kids hit the teenage years. She might be 16 but she is still her daughter! People on here really lack empathy, odd!

linsey2581 · 10/09/2023 19:08

Have you been clear for 48 hours after your last episode? If not you should not be going in. If you have leave her, she’s 16 and is probably more capable than you think. Bed rest and a basin should do the trick. Plenty fluids

lto2019 · 10/09/2023 19:26

I wouldn't want to go and leave her if she was feeling awful - and would either see if it is possible to reschedule the training - arrange for someone else to be in the house. By tomorrow she might be feeling significantly better.

YukoandHiro · 10/09/2023 19:28

How long did it last for you? She'll probably be over the worst of it in the morning and just be laying in bed all day. Don't miss your training, she can stay in touch by phone.

Pumpkinpie1 · 10/09/2023 19:31

Stay. You could be contagious.
Many of us have vulnerable relatives who could be serious ill if they contract viruses.
Be responsible

Rosejasmine · 10/09/2023 19:39

If she’s not still being sick, then go, she’s 16. Norovirus is very very contagious, make sure you wash your hands a lot in case you pass it to others, you’ll probably still be carrying it if you had it so recently.

SuddenlyOld · 10/09/2023 19:39

I train customers on our systems. Unless I was ill enough to be in hospital there's no way I could miss training days. Far too much goes into organising it with the trainees needing cover for their day job etc. I don't have a back-up trainer who could take over for me (very small company). It's online training so no danger of passing on germs, but I understand how it feels to be dependent on.

Hbh17 · 10/09/2023 19:41

She's 16! I mean, she'll probably be able to go to school tomorrow but, if not, just leave her in bed and be grateful that you've got a good reason to be out of the house.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 10/09/2023 19:50

The most sensible advice on this entire thread.

Also, just to say it is simply inaccurate to call a 16 tear old an adult, or even a young adult.
Young adults would be, say 18 to 21 year olds, despite some 30 somethings behaving like teenagers at times.

In law you become an adult at age 18. 'Young person' would be better for a 16 year old if people find it hard to acknowledge that a 16 year old is a child.
Ridiculous talk of babysitters on here, that's not what the OP has said

Mummamap · 10/09/2023 19:54

While she is old enough to look after herself, if it could be contagious you need to stay home as well rather than spread it about

Gingernan · 10/09/2023 20:01

Mmm difficult! Some 16 year old still need mum at such times I found.
I'd give e myself another day recovering to keep her company, but then d and v knocks me out completely now I'm older.
Ask her what she wants I guess.

Beezknees · 10/09/2023 20:11

Wouldn't even occur to me not to go. My 15 year old would find it hilarious if I said I was staying home with him while he was sick.

Clafoutie · 10/09/2023 20:11

Hbh17 · 10/09/2023 19:41

She's 16! I mean, she'll probably be able to go to school tomorrow but, if not, just leave her in bed and be grateful that you've got a good reason to be out of the house.

She should absolutely not be ‘going to school tomorrow’, from a contagion point of view, regardless of how she feels. I wish people could grasp this.

Beezknees · 10/09/2023 20:12

sydneyinsummer · 10/09/2023 18:15

some of you just stop being parents as soon as your kids hit the teenage years. She might be 16 but she is still her daughter! People on here really lack empathy, odd!

People have to go to work and not all enployers would look kindly on parents staying home with a 16 year old. I know my old employers would not be happy if I did that.

Morgysmum · 10/09/2023 20:27

Stay at home with her, yes she is 16. But if it is D&V. That is horrible and been alone, when you are really sick isn't nice.
You have had it, so know how nasty it is. Training can wait until, she is feeling better.
Go be a mum.

user1478112490 · 10/09/2023 20:34

I don't think I would leave her-I have had a couple of fainting episodes when I have been sick (apparently my blood pressure drops whilst vomiting) so I'm probably being over cautious.

Original poster
Pinktrousers2020 · 10/09/2023 20:51

I didn’t go ! I stayed with dd

OP posts:
Runnerduck34 · 10/09/2023 20:57

I would have stayed with her too OP ( i have 16 year old DD)
If you are in throws of violent tummy bug, room spinning etc its not nice being alone.

Somanycats · 10/09/2023 20:58

How embarrassing for you both. I hope you didn't tell work or anyone she knows.

Adreno · 10/09/2023 20:59

And we wonder why women of child-bearing age and with children are perceived as poor hires.

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