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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop DD going to this house because of the dog?

336 replies

gonaenodaethat · 03/03/2008 11:38

My DD is 5 and in reception. She is very fond of another little girl who has been to play at our house several times.
When her daddy came to pick her up last time he said 'We'll arrange for you to come to ours soon' to DD.
However I know that they have one of those Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dogs and I'm just not happy to take the chance of DD being around it.
So, do I make an excuse when they ask and not let her go or should I broach the subject with the parents and ask them to keep her away from it?
Or am I just being precious and slightly ignorant?

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 03/03/2008 11:40

This reply has been deleted

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castille · 03/03/2008 11:40

YANBU. Too many awful news stories.

Previous neighbours of ours had a Rottweiler and I wouldn't let my DDs play there.

RubyRioja · 03/03/2008 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Troutpout · 03/03/2008 11:43

yanbu

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:43

What's the dog like? I don't think any dog is 10% trustworthy regardless of breed, but I don't think there's a particular problem with Staffordshires, is there? They are a completely different thing to pit bulls and pit bull types, if that's what's worrying you. Or at least, i always thought they were - perhaps I'm wrong?

shatteredmumsrus · 03/03/2008 11:43

If they see reasonable tell the parents your fears. Im not keen on those types of dogs either and i would worry. Shame to ruin a friendship though so id ask

seeker · 03/03/2008 11:44

100% obviously

bigbumhole · 03/03/2008 11:44

YANBU at all, i would 100% feel the same. However, i don't think you should stop DD going over there. Talk to the parents about how you feel and put across your concern, im sure they'll understand, and maybe ask them to keep the dog away from the kids when your DD goes over there.

There are just too many horror stories in the news theses

jellybeans · 03/03/2008 11:45

YANBU I would make excuses.

bigbumhole · 03/03/2008 11:45

*these days

Smurfs · 03/03/2008 11:46

I am the world's biggest fan of dogs and experienced handling dogs, we have them at home and I would say that in some cases I prefer them to humans however it is all about risk and I wouldn't allow my DC to a party if that bred of dog was present - they have a very powerful bite pressure and are unpredictable in my opinion. Yes there are Staffis that are softies and would never harm a child but there are also those that would. No UANBU.

Original poster
gonaenodaethat · 03/03/2008 11:46

Her parents do seem nice. I think I'll just be honest and tell them my fears even if they do think they're irrational. I almost wish she had a dog allergy then I'd have a nice easy out.

OP posts:
Smurfs · 03/03/2008 11:47

oops....YANBU

ska · 03/03/2008 11:48

we have a lovely labraddodle and always ask parents if their kids are ok with dogs. if they aren't we shut our dog in another room until either they feel safe enough to see him or until they go home. i would expect other dog owners to do the same without taking offence

Chequers · 03/03/2008 11:48

Message withdrawn

Threadworm · 03/03/2008 11:48

I'd ask the parents what their policy is. I don't think staffs are more dangerous than a lot of other breeds, but with any dog I'd prefer to make sure they are sensible about risk.

I crate my dog when young friends are around. Unless I'm actively supervising the dog's behaviour around the children.

2shoes · 03/03/2008 11:49

unbu staffies are lovely dogs(as long as it is a staff and not a pit bull) but I would just ask nicely.

hippipotami · 03/03/2008 11:49

Staffies are not born agressive, they are made agressive by their owners. So if the owners are a nice family, with small children, then the staffie is no more likely to attack your dd then a poodle would.

So talk to the parents about your fears, but I do think you are being a little over panicky.

Don't get me wrong, the media has hyped these dogs up something rotten, but staffies are the sweetest dogs really. In olden days they were referred as 'the nanny dog' as they were/are exceptional with children. Which is probably why this family with young children have chosen to have a staffie in the first place

wannaBe · 03/03/2008 11:49

I'm going to go against the grain and say I think you're being a bit precious. Unless the dog is known to be agressive, it's unlikely it is suddenly going to turn on your dd.

I don't like staffies, but generally they have a reputation for being very good family pets and good with children - their reputation is for not being good with other dogs.

Plus your dd will likely encounter many other dogs in her lifetime, you can't project your fears on to her - most dogs are completely fine.

ska · 03/03/2008 11:50

no dog should ever be left alone with a child (of any age). they are animals after all and could be scared and reacte out of character (i mean the dog but guess the kids too). my dd who has been brought up with ours is never left alone. not worth the risk

Chequers · 03/03/2008 11:52

Message withdrawn

themildmanneredjanitor · 03/03/2008 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chequers · 03/03/2008 11:52

Message withdrawn

itsahardknocklife · 03/03/2008 11:54

I have a staff, and I would be a bit offended if one of DS's friend's parents wouldn't let him over because of it, but I completely understand your concern. Could you explain your worry to the parents and maybe go over yourself for a cuppa and see what the dog is like. I wouldn't mind that at all if I were the other parent concerned.

Youcannotbeserious · 03/03/2008 11:55

Do you have any other concerns - other than the press stories?

I mean, do you have worries that the family might mistreat the dog, or that the dog might have shown agression in the past. Do you think the owner might leave the dog alone with the kids?

Yes, there are horror stories, but there are also a lot of mundane issues too... My labrador is THE BIGGEST SOP in the world and I trust him with my life - BUT, he would happily lick the face of a child (NOT hygienic!!!) So I always monitor him around kids but he plays freely with my SDs....

The owners shouldn't mind you asking. I wouldn't mind someone questioning my dog!