to stop DD going to this house because of the dog?

[gonaenodaethat]

My DD is 5 and in reception. She is very fond of another little girl who has been to play at our house several times.
When her daddy came to pick her up last time he said 'We'll arrange for you to come to ours soon' to DD.
However I know that they have one of those Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dogs and I'm just not happy to take the chance of DD being around it.
So, do I make an excuse when they ask and not let her go or should I broach the subject with the parents and ask them to keep her away from it?
Or am I just being precious and slightly ignorant?

Sorry... pressed send too soon... My point was to what Kitbit said: That dogs are dangerous REGARDLESS of what the owner said.

I wouldn't want someone who was pretty much out to prove that point around my dog or in my house.

I often say to complete strangers: ''Your DS / DD is welcome to pet my dog, He's fine.'' I also go on to hold his nose because he will LICK the child, which I find unacceptable.

I have never come across this anti dog attitude in rl.

I agree with fio, we trust others to take care of our children all the time. would you leave a list of instructions for other things with a parent? "I trust that you won't be letting him cross roads on his own, after all cars are dangerous and I'm afraid he might be run over/actually I'd prefer you didn't go anywhere in a car as you might crash and my child might die, after all, a car can crash at any time, you know." "I assume that your oven is supervised at all times in case one of the children goes near it and burns themselves - an oven can turn at any time, you know." "I'd prefer it if you didn't leave my child unsupervised with your husband because... well, you never know, he might be a paedophile, and men can turn at any time, you know."

I can understand some peoples' phobia of dogs but this paranoya about them is ridiculous imo. Plus, unless you have reason to actually be concerned, based on something other than what you've read in the media, then i actually think having a chat with someone who has a dog and qalso has small children is quite insulting.

Why not just forbid your child to go anywhere because no-one can possibly look after her in the way you can.

Well said, Wannabe.

Yes, good post wannabe!

I have to agree I have never come across this in RL either. We have two dogs which can be quite scary I suppose, quite large and the puppy does bark at strangers at first.

People who come here generally trust me to know what I'm doing, after all I have sole charge of their children anyway, once they've gone.

... and actually, of all the various kids who come trooping into my house, none has a parent who has shown any interest in checking that the dog is safe. Even for sleepovers. I often volunteer info about my dog policy, but I've never been asked about it.

TBH parents would be better off quizzing me on my skateboarding/stickfighting/treeclimbing policies.

TW- do you have a 'dog policy'?

I've never even thought about it, well not until I discovered MN, then again, if I didn't think my dogs were trained properly and under my control they wouldn't be around anyone in the first place!

In triplicate!!

Not really. But I am a bit wary because my dog isn't really a people person. I usually put him in the crate when stray kids are around. He's happier that way.

You know the scene in the new HP film where they keep putting up new policies/ rules etc - it could be like that at your house...

Chocolate policy
Fruitshoot policy
Dog policy
Shouting policy

I have a vision

tv policy.
sausage roll policy

I am not anti dog and I am well aware that life is full of risks many of which I take myself and allow my children to take.
However, I just don't see the point in taking unnecessary risks with my child's life/face/fingers.
You are all obviously responsible dog owners who know your own dogs.
I don't know this dog and am apprehensive of letting my little daughter be around it, possibly unsupervised.

I agree with Chequers. I am an avid dog lover, and we have 2 dogs (beagles) who are the softest dogs you can get with kids, but I never have them running about if there are other kids in the house. I'm a vet and I've seen SOOOO many dogs put to sleep for biting children "out of the blue". If a child isn't used to dogs their body language can be confusing for the dog and can lead to problems. Some children might torment the dog. For the record, I actually like staffies, I don't think they are less child-friendly than most other breeds. Its most commonly collies and their crosses that I see biting kids, mainly because their instinct with small people is to herd them and bring them into line! IMO it's more relaxing for me, the kids AND the dogs, to be put in another room/ area while I have visitors in the house!

as to the OP- speak to the owners, as others have suggested. Say that you are a bit nervous and unsure of dogs and that your dd is too, could they possibly put the dog out the room when she is there? I wouldn't be offended at all. Some of my best friends are nervous of even my little softies! ON the other hand, I have a friend who has small nippy dogs that are KNOWN child biters (they have bitten her own child!) and she doesn't see any reason to put them out when my kids are there. She is a very old friend, and they are small enough to deal with, but I would never leave my kids alone with her- I always keep them beside me, and it makes me very tense, so I don't visit her often. I get a bit annoyed about her atitude, but know if I said anything she would take major offence. It's a nightmare cos my kids are dog lovers and WANT to play with them, and I have to explain that they can't, even when the little horrors are stealing the food out of their hands!

i did have a completely wierd experience with a mum who said her dd could come to tea, said she was fine with dogs but phoned THREE TIMES during the play date to see if dd was ok and had eaten her tea. she also knew where our house was because she had 'done a trial run' at the weekend to make sure she knew how to get here. And she sat outside our house in her car until EXACTLY the right time to come in.

Thanks Jooly, that's really helpful and reassuring.

I have a Staffie and a Staffie X, both are well crate trained and are in the kitchen when we have kids friends round. They are not locked up though and some of the friends are happy to go in and say hello ect... others would rather not which is fine.
At meal times or if the kids friends want to do crafts in the kitchen then the dogs are put outside or in their crates.
This is mainly because one of them is rather bouncy which for some children thats fine if they are used to dogs but for those that are not it's a bit daunting.

The older girls and their friends are allowed in the kitchen without me, but the 4 year old would not be allowed to take her friend in there without me just to be extra cautios.
I am a huge dog lover, expecially staffies but I am still wary of other dogs and teach my children to be the same

Gona... Sorry - we're only being flippant.

The point is, though... most dog owners ARE responsible and WILL NOT mind you raising this issue...

I do make it clear to my DSD's friends' parents that we have a dog, so I am aware of any allergies / phobias (I have a phobia of birds, so I appreciate how bad this can be!)

Personally, I think you should ask to see how your DD interacts with the dog. You are being friendly, and getting to know DD's friends' parents at the same time....

It's perfectly reasonable to say to the owners 'My DD hasn't been around dogs much and I want to check that she understands how to interact with dogs' or 'Please keep a close eye on DD as she's not used to dogs' No harm in checking up at all.

THEN, see if you have conerns.

I meant to add I would not be a bit offended if a parent asked me where the dogs were ect.. when friends were round.

Yes sorry for flippancy gonaenodaethat. Your op and all of your other posts are completely moderate and reasonable.

Nothing wrong with being apprehensive and wanting reassurance gone didn't mean to imply that at all, your posts are completely reasonable - I do think there is something wrong (as others have said, not you) with refusing to allow your child on a playdate if there are dogs in the house though.

If a dogowner does not take your fears seriously then you have your answer whether to allow or not. It's like everything, children are better off being taught how to socialise safely with dogs and if you never allow your child the opportunity then your fears will be passed on and they run more risk of not knowing how to approach a dog in the future.

magnolia74 just seen your pics on your profile. your dogs are lovely.

One of my dd's friends got a staffie puppy, who bit the younger son, the dog was re-homed. DD has been to the house with the puppy there and whenever any other children were around it was put in a large cage they had in the garden, so because of this I was more than happy to let my dd play there.

I am very nervous of dogs and was bitten badly when I was a child by a stray dog. We dont now know of anybody with dogs and I think my fear of dogs has now been transferred to my kids.

Most puppies nip - they have to be trained out of it....