to stop DD going to this house because of the dog?

[gonaenodaethat]

My DD is 5 and in reception. She is very fond of another little girl who has been to play at our house several times.
When her daddy came to pick her up last time he said 'We'll arrange for you to come to ours soon' to DD.
However I know that they have one of those Staffordshire Bull Terrier type dogs and I'm just not happy to take the chance of DD being around it.
So, do I make an excuse when they ask and not let her go or should I broach the subject with the parents and ask them to keep her away from it?
Or am I just being precious and slightly ignorant?

Yes. I wouldn't be at all offended by a parent asking me about safety in my home with a dog around. But I would feel offended if they just assumed it was dangerous and kept away.

I don't have any other concerns. I just don't have any experience of this type of dog.
I did ask DD's friend generally about the dog and she seems to love it.
It's just that every time you read about these attacks in the papers the owners almost always seem to say that the dog wasn't aggressive and that the attack has come as a shock to them.

I think you're right Threadworm and others. I'll just have to talk to them.

How can some people say OP is BU?!

In almost every news thread you read about dogs attacking kids, the dog owners always say "the dog has never been aggressive before" or "the attack was totally out of character for the dog" or "he's usually really good with children".

Don't take that risk, tell the parents you want the dog away from your DD at all times

YANBU, I would speak to them about your concerns. We have a Border Collie who is ok with children, but we always put her in the garden when dd's have friends over.

i dont think it unreasonable for you to have concerns about your child being in the same room as a dog if you werent there or werent sure if they would be supervised. i was bitten by an alsatian as a child as she was startled by a loud bang outside. in no way was it my fault or hers but she was reacting in a protective/ defensive way towards a threat and lashed out at the nearest thing which happened to be me. i am really nervous about my DD being around dogs esp unsupervised and always ask for the dog in question to be removed from the area as a safety precaution. she does come into contact with dogs alot and is not scared of them (neither am i btw) but its better to be safe than sorry i think as dogs can be very unpredictable and once they turn it is extremely hard to save the child from injury or worse. i would speak to the parents and if they insist on having the dog around your DD then maybe reconsider allowing her to go there.
xx ei xx

I hate dogs.

Been attacked twice when i was a kid myself.

One of the most scary incidents of my childhood was being pulled off my bike and mauled by an alsation.

I wouldn't take the chance either. It's a small risk but one i wouldn't take now because of my experiences.

You just don't know for sure how the owners are with the dogs and how they have been brought up.

We have a spaniel and don't leave her alone with DS (10 months) more for her safety than his. I always warn parents we have a dog and keep them apart or are closely supervised. Our dog has never snapped but I do feel if it was my fur/ears being swung on I would lose patience eventually.

Staffies are naturally family dogs but have a bad rep due to dubious ownership. I would definitely talk to the parents - I wouldn't be offended by this. My sister-in-law has got a rescue dog and I said I don't want DS anywhere near it as she doesn't know the history of the dog. I think his family think this is unreasonable but a dog will be quicker than you if it 'turns'.

i love dogs but am cautious with other peoples. years ago my sister had a lovely dog who wasn't aggressive ever but just once went for her baby son. she had an injury trying to pull it off him (successfully) and the vet put him down. astonishing to all of us but it happened. we think baby son made an odd noise and frightened the dog. so although my dog is very friendly i dont risk it. i respect other peoples views and would never inflict a scared child on my dog and vice versa.

yes so anyway ask the parenst and if you are at all worried ask them to put dog in another room. genuine doggie poeple will be fine with it

I agree with Threadworm. I wouldn't mind at all being asked about my dog, but would be offended if someone just assumed the dog was dangerous.

Sure, there are horror stories of previously non aggressive dogs biting.

But, come on, kids get knocked over by cars and we don't stop them crossing roads for ever and a day!

Be realistic! Ask the owner or even ask if the owner would mind if you stayed for the first time for a cuppa just to watch the dog. Any reasonable dog owner will be proud to show off his mutt!

People who have dogs such as these always say "ooh but he loves kids" and "he's always really good with my kids" er well yes, but that's because he KNOWS them and what will he think of an outsider coming in and "threatening" his family? Especially if the outsider is little and looks as though he can be defeated easily.

Call me paranoid and I'm sorry if I spark a "dog lover v. wary of dogs" debate but I speak from bitter personal experience. No way would I let ds near any type of powerful or dangerous breed no matter what the owner said. Trust your instinct!

Oh shit, don;t let your children GO ANYWHERE! It's not just dogs you have to worry about, but the dog might be a peedafil aswell. Or an illegal immigrant. Or someone who knows the family might have once smoked a cigarette! Life is so frightening, why don't we all just kill ourselves?

Madamez

And Kitbit - ANY dog can be powerful.. but most (thankfully!) don't see small 5YO are outsiders who are threatening their family.

For fear of continuing said debate over dogs - ANyone who had such a bad attitude towards dogs wouldn't be welcome in my house. I'd be too bloody scared the stupid human would provoke the dog - or worse still just make something up.........

Message withdrawn

YANBU. I don't understand why anyone would choose to have a dog that isn't of the known softy variety when they have children.

I'm quite relaxed about a number of things, but I just don't trust other peoples dogs as there is a real and actual chance of something happening.

Just explain your concern, maybe they would have the dog in another room as standard practice anyway. My dog is always in his bed in the kitchen when there are kids / visitors about, maybe they automatically do this too?

I think it's perfectly reasonable to explain to the parents that you and your dd are very nervous of dogs and could they keep it away from her. We have a lively sheltie who loves to chase children (as she sees them as another puppy to play with ) Some of dds friends love her playfulness but one or two are terrified of dogs and I wouldn't dream of leaving the dog out if they visited. I always shut her away in the kitchen under these circumstances and never leave her out unsupervised even with kids who like dogs.

Any resposible dog owner should do the same. I would not be in the slightest bit put out if a parent asked me to keep my dog away from their child.

For fear of continuing said debate over dogs - ANyone who had such a bad attitude towards dogs wouldn't be welcome in my house. I'd be too bloody scared the stupid human would provoke the dog - or worse still just make something up.........

Waves to all fellow stupid humans.

My fil was brought up on a farm with lots of dogs he always maintains that all dogs are trained hunters and you just never know when one will turn.

"it wont touch them/you" makes me want to scream.

Definetly talk to the parents about keeping the dog in another room. TBH, I am worse than you and wouldn't let mine go!

Sorry but I'm with wannabe on this - you are being a little ott I think. Go and meet the family & meet the dog yourself before you make decisions. Staffies are usually great round children. It is obviously a family pet so used to children - there's nothing wrong with ensuring that the dog isn't left alone with the dcs though - I would be quite happy if a mum asked me to ensure I was supervising my dogs at all times.

For the record all these 'oh he's usually so good round children' quotes after dog attacks are quite possibly not true anyway. If your dog has been aggressive in the past and you then knowingly allow it to be alone around children etc then you can be prosecuted but if people say it was unexpected/ out of character etc then it is accepted as an 'accident'

Would you just make up an excuse lilaclaire?

Fimbo... I NEVER said.

I wouldn't ever leave my dog unattended with kids........

My point is that you cannot assume that ALL dogs are aggressive (or even could be) OR that ALL owners will take risks.

I wouldn't EVER take a risk with my dog, EVER.

Do you know I find this thread somewhat amusing.

There was a thread a few days ago about using a baby monitor when abroad or away, and it finally got to the point where one mother said that she had to be on the same floor as her child otherwise she would worry and the general consensus seemed to be that even if you were in the same hotel/building with a perfectly functional monitor it was deemed to be an excessive risk.

And yet most people are now saying that its fine for your child to play in the same house as a dog without knowing at all if the dog is likely to harm or not.

I don't see what asking the owners is going to do quite frankly if it is the type of dog that is agressive, they are not going to say, well yes it is a vicious old soul but out love for it outweighs our concerns for someone elses child.