What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?

[Cantsleep1234]

For context I have been messaging this person and sometimes I don’t reply quickly due to working or other things and this is what he says. Top message supposed to say ‘at messaging’ I’m guessing..I’m mid twenties and he is mid thirties.

it's not enough to draw a definite conclusion

It absolutely is if OP decides it is.

There's no dearth of women giving horrible men more chances than they deserve.

I've got the Ickes reading these messages

In a bubble maybe where no allowances whatsoever are made for people that may be different and need a bit of understanding and kindness before getting rid?

I can be kind and understanding about the challenges people might face without dating them. When it comes to dating, I absolutely will be very, very judgemental. It's the point of the exercise. I only want someone who is compatible with me. And that means someone who values education and is educated. I had enough of school bullies at school, people who were probably quite like this man and who didn't really want to learn despite being offered education for free.

So if I'm recruiting for a job I'll recruit to a particular person specification and that will make allowances for people's circumstances. Or if I'm just interacting with people in daily life, I'll make allowances. But letting someone into my personal space and my life? I'll be as picky as fuck and reject people out of hand.

And once again, there is a big difference between the way people spell because they're dyslexic and the way they spell because they're bone idle and don't care. I'd put good money on this man being the latter.

At the very least it’s just so cringe 😬

No, I'm not saying that, because the OP didn't mention that he's dyslexic and why should I jump to that conclusion?

There's usually a correlation between literacy and intellect. Look at the comments on any FB news page. The badly written ones almost exclusively represent certain views - "close are boarders" etc. I don't think these people are dyslexic, they're just not very bright.

People are entitled to want compatibility when dating and in the absence of knowing that somebody is dyslexic, it's absolutely fine to pass over the ones that can't write properly.

‘smak bum’ 😂😂😂

*you're

He's a demanding idiot. You don't owe him an instant reply. Bin him off.

It's an informal term used to express revulsion in contexts such as the one described by the OP. It's also used in posts that demonstrate significantly higher standards of grammar, punctuation and syntax than in yours.

Shall we really have a discussion about hypocrisy - or would it be better to just leave it right there?

Say "BYE" and don't waste another second on this loser.

I’m in a relationship at the moment, and this happens to me all the time. It’s an early sign of controlling behaviour. Get out while you can. Prob got issues of some sort and needs all of your attention. The light hearted joke was to soften what he actually wanted to say.

No, that's not what the thread is about at all. But it's what you're using to derail it from the issue of men being sexually aggressive and coercive towards women they barely know.

I wonder why.

Nope. Aaalll the red flags!

Quite. The only person on this thread determinedly making the disablist correlation of neurodiversity and learning disabilities with creepy and sexually inappropriate behaviour is Keyworks.

And then using that "correlation" to tell young women to put up with creepy shit from older men just in case they are ND or LD>

As you say, I wonder why.

Assault? Your taking the piss now surely???

And as predicted, there’s a Be Kind type complaining about women expressing distaste for any male behaviour and trotting out all the excuses. Can’t be having women with boundaries and the willingness to say No, now can we?

Maybe he is trying to start a sexual chat with you. Dirty talk and he wants to find out if you would like this. He would be able to judge by your reply what type of things you are in to.
lots of people like to be spanked and others don’t . It is a fantasy.
I would be worried if he used this as controlling though and this was part of a longer term thing

Context - I was 14 when having dial up just came in and MSN was exciting.

As someone who has spoken to a lot of people on the Internet via different channels, he is coming across as a typical horny dude. He's just being polite about it and beating about the bush in hope you'll reciprocate and egg him on. A lot of people are getting offended but it's literally so obvious what he's doing. If you had low self esteem or confidence you'd perhaps take it as a compliment and it can be damaging to you longer term. I'd just ignore the sexual references and gradually fade away and focus your attention on someone else that actually has conversation with you and takes interest in you.

I'm not saying anything bad about this guy, he's clearly just wanting a girlfriend and is lonely and perhaps doesn't know how to go about it. Probably innocent enough but just not right for you perhaps since you're flagging it on mumsnet. Especially if you have kids, you will want someone worth it to bring into their lives 👌

Best of luck OP!

be more worried about his spelling of "smak"

@Royanne I agree. A spell on twitter or should I say x will show you that all the 'lock up anyone daring to be a bit liberal' and ' close our boarders' mentality as you say may well be dyslexic but are also hideous idiots that are best left in the pile for similar minded people. The two are not exclusive. It's not this guys spelling necessarily - it's the content- sexual overtones and neediness when you have yet to meet someone are rarely a good sign.

With grammar like that I’d block him immediately.

Just because he’s obvious doesn’t make him inoffensive. He’s gross whether one’s used to this crap or not.