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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?

485 replies

Cantsleep1234 · 08/09/2023 01:12

For context I have been messaging this person and sometimes I don’t reply quickly due to working or other things and this is what he says. Top message supposed to say ‘at messaging’ I’m guessing..I’m mid twenties and he is mid thirties.

What would your thoughts be if you received this text message?
OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 09/09/2023 18:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Maybe we should just lock up all disabled, SN, dyslexic, autistic, thick people, anyone that's not perfect?

Well personally I'd settle for being able to block them from sending coercive smut to women's private phones and not pressuring women to date them if they do, but hey, you're the expert.

Chippy4me · 09/09/2023 18:11

Sounds like English isn’t his first language.

You are obviously getting a bad vibe from him and you believe he’s coming on too strong etc so it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

Just tell him you’ve moved on and then block and then carry on with online dating.

It’s not meant to be difficult.

SSThomassen · 09/09/2023 18:12

He's clearly horny and wanting you to reciprocate that kind of texting. Delete. Move on.

DrSbaitso · 09/09/2023 18:13

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

lol think u need a smak bum lol

samqueens · 09/09/2023 18:14

YoureALizardHarry11 · 08/09/2023 01:35

He’s laying down his controlling expectations early while disguising it as a joke. He also comes across a bit thick, so it would put me off for that alone.

This ^

🚩🚩

MonderMomen77 · 09/09/2023 18:16

The replies to this post are hillarious. So much insight from 2 lines of a text! I think he is keen and maybe testing the water to see if the relationship could go down a sexual route. As someone who would probably cring at messages I've sent in the past, I'd need to see another example of his previous messages before throwing out some of the wildly dramatic previous accusations on this thread.

brentwoods · 09/09/2023 18:20

Ew, he's so gross and it's obvious it's all about sex to him. He's looking for a hookup, not a relationship

Panpastels · 09/09/2023 18:22

Needy/controlling and thick

Rtruth · 09/09/2023 18:22

He’s used it as a way to see if you like a power dynamic relationship. Is it best attempt ever- no, but a bit of spanking might float your boat and get you to reply…. If you don’t like it, just stop chatting. If you do, then flirt away

Alicat63 · 09/09/2023 18:23

It reminds me why I haven't given a local dirty old man my mobile number despite him pestering me for ages..btw he's 75 and I'm 60 🤣

Fontofallknowledge23 · 09/09/2023 18:23

To be fair I would need to know more about him. Put this would definitely give me the ick. The typos and content 🤣

JellyFish73 · 09/09/2023 18:25

Creepy! Block!!!

abigailthespiderinthehat · 09/09/2023 18:25

Sends Benny Hill vibes to me 🤮

Fallingthroughclouds · 09/09/2023 18:27

It's giving you the ick which is enough for you to cut contact. I'm not a fan of dreadful spelling and grammar, but I know mines not perfect. I think making a fuss about your/you're their/they're etc is deeply unattractive and condescending though. I'd (marginally) prefer a poor speller to someone picking me up on a typo.

MadeleineMummy · 09/09/2023 18:34

DrSbaitso · 09/09/2023 18:09

Maybe we should just lock up all disabled, SN, dyslexic, autistic, thick people, anyone that's not perfect?

Well personally I'd settle for being able to block them from sending coercive smut to women's private phones and not pressuring women to date them if they do, but hey, you're the expert.

Show quote history

We don’t need to lock these people up. We just need to stop them from procreating. if women were slightly more discerning with their choice of partners, there would be a lot fewer psychopaths in the world.

He does sound like a potential date rapist. Just block him and move on.

Loubelle70 · 09/09/2023 18:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I get it, but whether a disability or not (either wouldn't bother me if on same wavelength)....if anyone ive only known a little while texts me that, im outta there. Its crass, common, chavvy. I want a man with a little class. This sort of talk is for when youre together and know each other...then i still wouldnt like it...but he would know that. Im sexual but theres no nos and thats 1 of them

Kiwimum75 · 09/09/2023 18:35

YUCK. Get rid

JDEE72 · 09/09/2023 18:37

Yeah… that’s made to sound all jokey, but I am certain it’s controlling behaviour.

if you get together, he will be wanting to know where you are and what you’re doing, who you’re talking to… nah. Major red flags.
we can all be a bit crap at responding, but if he’s sending those regularly, before you can even get a chance to respond… not good.

OhcantthInkofaname · 09/09/2023 18:38

What it says to me is that he is threatening to assault you.

BearKey · 09/09/2023 18:41

I think a lot of people are being quite harsh! I obviously don't know the context but I read that as someone who is interested in you, and could be nervously waiting for your texts back. They are probably trying to be flirty but are just crap at it!

So many people seem to just jump to the worse conclusions on mumsnet!

Shehug · 09/09/2023 18:41

Steer clear. He is so weird. Block him.

DrSbaitso · 09/09/2023 18:43

BearKey · 09/09/2023 18:41

I think a lot of people are being quite harsh! I obviously don't know the context but I read that as someone who is interested in you, and could be nervously waiting for your texts back. They are probably trying to be flirty but are just crap at it!

So many people seem to just jump to the worse conclusions on mumsnet!

I obviously don't know the context

Yes you do. The context is that he's sending this crap to a significantly younger woman and making her really uncomfortable and uneasy.

What conclusions do you think we should be drawing?

WildRose42 · 09/09/2023 18:49

I don’t know about these messages, I’m more concerned the amount of posters who keeping using the word ‘ick’ all time, it’s so annoying! This needs to be banned from our vocabulary for good. 🙄🙄🙄

stayathomer · 09/09/2023 18:50

I’d say an idiot drunk friend grabbed his phone and sent it

stayathomer · 09/09/2023 18:54

I think making a fuss about your/you're their/they're etc is deeply unattractive and condescending though. I'd (marginally) prefer a poor speller to someone picking me up on a typo.
Amen to this!!!