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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will nursery find this a strange request?

152 replies

Amilp · 07/09/2023 11:31

DS recently started nursery. He’s 11 months. I’ve realised that he is given a desert after his lunch and after his dinner. This is chocolate cake, sponge cake, etc. AIBU to ask them to just give him fruit instead? I don’t want to kick up a fuss but I wasn’t planning on introducing chocolate etc until he was 3 or 4??

OP posts:
Chatsworth364847 · 07/09/2023 11:32

I would want my 11 month old eating chocolate cake or a sweet dessert after every meal so no, I don't think YABU.

Chatsworth364847 · 07/09/2023 11:32

Sorry that was meant to say WOULDN'T!!

Original poster
Amilp · 07/09/2023 11:33

@Chatsworth364847 is it normal dor nurseries to do this?

does anyone know?

OP posts:
SecretVictoria · 07/09/2023 11:34

Not ‘strange’ in the grand scheme of things. Won’t he notice though and try and share what the others are having?

YourNameGoesHere · 07/09/2023 11:34

Is it actually a chocolate cake though? I rather suspect it's not actually anything remotely resembling a chocolate cake as you would think of it, DS has cake at nursery it's made with beetroot. 😂

MuggleMe · 07/09/2023 11:34

It's usually low or no sugar desserts, but I don't see why they're giving at all in the baby room.

sunnydayhereandnow · 07/09/2023 11:37

My nursery was similar and I asked them to give none or small pieces. However, after the baby room it's not really possible to ask for your kid not to get cake whenever everyone else does, as it's just not fair. At ours there was always cake at birthdays etc, sometimes ice lollies in the summer, and once he was in the toddler room he just had what others had. We don't really have desserts at home but it doesn't seem reasonable to refuse him when everyone else has (and good luck keeping a toddler away from chocolate until 3)!

pleasereassureworried · 07/09/2023 11:38

It will probably be low sugar / beetroot or something. You could ask for a list of ingredients and nutritional values to check it

PinkRoses1245 · 07/09/2023 11:40

I'd be challenging the nursery on that - a sweet dessert with every meal is totally unnecessary. Should be fruit or yoghurt only.

Clefable · 07/09/2023 11:41

I'd be very surprised if it was real chocolate cake every day! The only time our nursery gives chocolate cake is when someone has a birthday or occasionally when they make one at nursery as part of a baking activity. Otherwise it's stuff like fruit crumble, etc.

Clefable · 07/09/2023 11:43

I think it's OTT to complain personally but we are laid back about food and don't really care if either DD has a bit of chocolate at nursery or whatever so it wouldn't really bother me in the first place. DD1 just had three birthdays in one week in her nursery, lots of Colin the caterpillars being wheeled out!

Hufflepods · 07/09/2023 11:46

Nursery desserts are usually sugar free sponges if they are cake. The reality is after a few months you don't particularly be able to stop it, your child will see other children eating things and want the same.
Our nursery serve a dessert every day, most of the week it is fruit, very occasionally with custard or ice cream and then once a week or so a sponge or rice pudding.

BarnacleBeasley · 07/09/2023 11:53

I agree with PPs that it will be difficult to stop your child wanting things others are having. You'll probably manage while he's a baby, but in our nursery at least the toddlers serve themselves from the middle of the table so it's harder to police (presumably they do something different for allergies though).

My DC genuinely didn't know what chocolate was aged 2.5 - I had to introduce it on purpose as I needed to bribe him but he didn't know what the incentive was! But our nursery only serves fruit.

CatsOnTheChair · 07/09/2023 11:54

You could ask for no pudding, but not for something else in it place, imo.
But equally, just live with it, or find a nursery/childminder who has similar food ideas to you.

Chatsworth364847 · 07/09/2023 11:56

Amilp · 07/09/2023 11:33

@Chatsworth364847 is it normal dor nurseries to do this?

does anyone know?

I don't know sorry 😂 mine only went to preschool when they were older and that was morning only.

ramby · 07/09/2023 12:01

I've worked in several nurseries & there's always been children that can't have puddings, so yes normal request. Only time it becomes a problem is when the child starts realising they're having something different, so think hoping to last until they're 3/4 is a bit ambitious!!

QforCucumber · 07/09/2023 12:02

both my kids have been through nurseries and there's always been a 2 course lunch - atm it's apple cake or apple crumble as the trees at nursery have a glut of apples.

Personally think YAB a bit U but, as a PP we're not at all precious about food and have never had any intentions of not letting them have chocolate etc DS1 is 7 and has no fizzy drinks or those hard lollies but they are the only rules we really have.

TheBarbieEffect · 07/09/2023 12:03

As a baby, fine. As a toddler? It won’t happen. You can’t keep him away from chocolate till 3 or 4 😂

Notsuredontknow · 07/09/2023 12:30

At 11m I would ask them to stop offering them. Yes of course when they’re older you won’t be able to control it but that doesn’t mean you have to start him on these foods this early (unless you want to). I bet you won’t be the only parent from your child’s class to say something

BertieBotts · 07/09/2023 12:32

Wanting to avoid chocolate/sweets until 1 or maybe 2 is quite a common request - wanting to avoid it until 3 or 4 is very extreme.

DaffodilSunshine · 07/09/2023 16:49

When my child started nursery we were explicitly asked if we were happy with him their standard pudding or if we'd rather he had fruit

Magenta82 · 07/09/2023 16:53

YABU just for imagining you can keep him away from chocolate until he is 3 or 4!

BBno4 · 07/09/2023 16:54

Hi, that's a normal request.

We have children that say no sweets or cake unless its a birthday.

Timmytap18 · 07/09/2023 16:54

If he's in nursery or has cousins/friends that eat chocolate then there's no way you'll be able to wait until he's 4. As an example my 16 month old just took a chocolate biscuit off her big sisters plate and ran away eating it 🤣

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 16:56

sunnydayhereandnow · 07/09/2023 11:37

My nursery was similar and I asked them to give none or small pieces. However, after the baby room it's not really possible to ask for your kid not to get cake whenever everyone else does, as it's just not fair. At ours there was always cake at birthdays etc, sometimes ice lollies in the summer, and once he was in the toddler room he just had what others had. We don't really have desserts at home but it doesn't seem reasonable to refuse him when everyone else has (and good luck keeping a toddler away from chocolate until 3)!

Agree with this!

I’ve definitely heard of other nurseries giving dessert. My nursery doesn’t, but I know they bring in birthday cake whenever it’s a kid’s birthday. I’d say realistically, you may be able to keep your DC away from chocolate until 2, but not 3.