Will nursery find this a strange request?

[Amilp]

DS recently started nursery. He’s 11 months. I’ve realised that he is given a desert after his lunch and after his dinner. This is chocolate cake, sponge cake, etc. AIBU to ask them to just give him fruit instead? I don’t want to kick up a fuss but I wasn’t planning on introducing chocolate etc until he was 3 or 4??

We did this, often he had fruit or a Greek yogurt instead. He had a wristband stating no sweet foods in the same way children with allergies, intolerances and vegetarians were identified. They knew I wasn't too precious about it and it was fine on occasion like a lolly in the heat, birthday cake etc. Only gave in for probably the last year when he went off yogurt and we ran out of feasible alternatives.

We didn't keep him sugar/chocolate free we just wanted some control of when and what he had. He was essentially eating 3 meals a day, five days a week there so it did matter.

Everyone suggesting it's not real cake, it really is. It might have fruit or veg in it, or honey, but it's definitely still sugary and developing a taste/expectation for regular sweet food!

I’m really surprised at people essentially telling me it’s fine and he will have it soon anyway etc… why on earth would you introduce to it them?! A four year old can’t go and buy their own chocolate can they?!

I genuinely don’t get it 🤷🏼‍♀️ They could all just have something healthy for desert?

I was the same as you with my first, my 3rd had a McDonald’s at 6 months old when weaning 🤷🏻‍♀️
It is hard to keep them away from it, kids will bring in sweets/cakes etc on birthdays, you’ll go to the park with other parents and they’ll pull out a packet of mini rolls and hand them out, they’ll be invited to parties, and so many more things. Now I just go with it, anything they’re given out of the house or at parties etc I just let them have. At home I cook nutritious meals and if they have dessert it’s Greek yoghurt, fruit, a spoonful of peanut butter (They ask for that!)

Our nursery o key ever served fruit and yogurt children don't need stodgy sweet puddings and babies definitely don't.

I wouldn't be happy with this at all

@FrogsWormsandCaterpillars yes I get that but what I’m saying is why? Why buy them mini rolls? Why do people do this? It doesn’t make sense to me at all. I’m not actually that strict with my child generally, but really it’s quite easy not to buy them mini rolls?

All the nurseries my ones went to did Pudding. Must admit it didn't bother me in the slightest. If it bothers you I'm sure they wouldn't bat an eyelid if you asked for fruit instead. As pp I think it will be harder the older they get.

I think the point is whether healthy or not it’s introducing the routine of cake after every meal. I don’t think it’s a strange request and I would do the same. No need to introduce things like this that early in when there are plenty of fruits as an option.
The cakes in my school are all ‘healthy’ options but not daily maybe once per week as a treat. Other days it’s yogurt, fruit and on an odd occasion ice cream.

“I’m really surprised at people essentially telling me it’s fine and he will have it soon anyway etc… why on earth would you introduce to it them?! A four year old can’t go and buy their own chocolate can they?!

I genuinely don’t get it 🤷🏼‍♀️ They could all just have something healthy for desert?”

Everyone is different, OP. There’s no point getting riled up about it.

I’d ask I think it’s stupid giving pudding at every meal.

@Didimum i am questioning it and expressing my surprise that people would feed their kids food like that as if it’s impossible not to…

Nursery food is incredibly bland, and low sugar. The times my kids have brought cake home, I've just binned them for being so un-sugary.
Talk to the nursery though.

You want to send the message to your child that all food is equal - everything in moderation.

No good food, no bad food, no junk food, no treat food. Food is just food.

If you refuse to let them have chocolate/cake etc then you are teaching them very unhealthy lessons in regards to food.

I agree with this. Growing up (I lived with my grandparents) they didn’t allow “unhealthy” food in the house, as soon as I had a job I brought as much crap as I could.

Your DC will get exposed to more chocolate at bday parties, playdates etc. Grandparents and relatives started buying it for him as gifts. Ice cream was introduced during hot weather.

Also, they don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing. Toddlers are little monsters sometimes need to be bribed.

As long as they have other healthy food, are not overweight and have their teeth brushed, does it really matter?

@MariaVT65 no it doesn’t really matter. I just genuinely find it astonishing that my 11 month old baby has had chocolate cake twice this week when he could have had a piece of fruit.

They don’t think it’s ‘impossible not to’, they just have differing ideas on food to you.

My kids are out of nursery now, but similar to what a poster above said, our nursery used to serve main meal and pudding altogether - it taught the kids that ‘pudding’ is not a treat or a reward, but it’s a balanced moderation and that food is just food. The children did not plump for the ‘pudding’ first and disregard their main meal, they just enjoyed the food and ate a bit of everything. I don’t always do this at home, but when I do, my kids still will just eat a bit of everything in whatever order they want, which is fine with me.

You aren’t required to agree with that, but you don’t need to be shocked at how other people treat food and eating.

Oh yeah i totally get that. I wouldn’t have given my 11 month old that much chocolate (or any really) at that young age.

Though the info I was given was that it was actually salt to be more weary of at that age!

Hi there ,as an ex Nursery Nurse I would say this isnt usual.At the Nursery I worked at ,Bananas and Custard were usual desserts .Usually fruit or yoghurt. At Birthdays A plastic "Cake" which could be separated and rejoined with velcro was presented .Any parents bringing a real cake in would be asked if they wanted some to take home . Maybe have a word in their ear

Firstly, you should never bribe your child in the first place, that’s awful lazy parenting, and secondly, you should never, ever use food to do so even if you do.

That’s again creating a very unhealthy relationship with food.

Our menu for desserts this week: fruit salad, Jaffa orange loaf, mixed berries with Greek yoghurt, sponge and custard, strawberry and banana crunch.

Next week is banana loaf, fruit fool, oat and cranberry cookie, melon wedges and grapes and fruit crumble.

Our nursery is fairly standard for food I think. It got a very good write-up for nutrition at last inspection.

Chocolate cake twice in one week is a bit weird/lazy I must say. Is it actually chocolate cake though? Or 'chocolate' cake (ie. no sugar and made from vegetables and tastes like crap)?

It's cost isn't it.

Chocolate cake is really cheap to make compared to the same quantity of fruit 🤷🏼‍♀️

You ask why a parent pulls out mini rolls, well fake ones (the brand ones are really expensive now!) are cheaper than a pack of strawberries. It's where we are these days

Stop being so fucking judgemental.

I’ve had quite a few friends who told me they went through long periods of their toddlers refusing to get into car seats, screaming etc, so they had to resort to bribery. Sometimes as an exhausted parent you just have to get things done and it’s not forever.

I don’t always feed my 2yo pudding but when I do I serve it with her main meal so that’s it’s seen as equal and don’t deny her anything, she eats cake, sweets, donuts (all in moderation ofcourse) and has done since weaning at 6 months. I don’t want her growing up with unhealthy views of food. As part of a balanced diet and especially since you don’t feed anything like that at home I’d say it’s fine, but I am sure you can ask them to feed fruit instead if you don’t like it.

I have a child in nursery and mine only does fruit, yoghurt, crackers and such as snacks. Personally it would be a deal breaker for me and it’s against nhs advice so despite what some mumsnetters are telling I think you are definitely not unreasonable.

It's because it becomes impossible to eat those foods yourself. If your child is used to trying things off your plate, you can't suddenly say no when it's cake or whatever. And there are just so many people around constantly offering treats eg complete a scavenger hunt, the prize is a Freddo. It's massively easier with your first child but second one, no chance. I think you're also perhaps underestimating how 'old' a 2.5 or 3 year old is. They change loads from 1-2 but say 3-5 isn't actually that massive a change. They know what things like chocolate are just from hearing others talk about them.

Having said that, children are very accepting of rules. My children had veggie food at nursery and very much accepted some had meat, some had veggie (weren't fully veggie at home). Their nursery happily adapted any meal for under 1s too.