Page 4 | Will nursery find this a strange request?

Amilp · 2023-09-07T10:31:28+00:00

DS recently started nursery. He’s 11 months. I’ve realised that he is given a desert after his lunch and after his dinner. This is chocolate cake, sponge cake, etc. AIBU to ask them to just give him fruit instead? I don’t want to kick up a fuss but I wasn’t planning on introducing chocolate etc until he was 3 or 4??

Original poster

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:35

Didimum · 07/09/2023 17:49

They don’t think it’s ‘impossible not to’, they just have differing ideas on food to you.

My kids are out of nursery now, but similar to what a poster above said, our nursery used to serve main meal and pudding altogether - it taught the kids that ‘pudding’ is not a treat or a reward, but it’s a balanced moderation and that food is just food. The children did not plump for the ‘pudding’ first and disregard their main meal, they just enjoyed the food and ate a bit of everything. I don’t always do this at home, but when I do, my kids still will just eat a bit of everything in whatever order they want, which is fine with me.

You aren’t required to agree with that, but you don’t need to be shocked at how other people treat food and eating.

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@Didimum i’d say possibly the problem with obesity in this country is the fact that few people are shocked at giving an 11 month old cake twice a week after a meal… so yes I am a bit shocked by it! I am a big chocolate lover myself and eat far too much so I am by no means perfect, but my son has no idea what day it is let alone what a balanced diet is, so there’s really no need for him to be eating that yet.

OP posts:

itsmyp4rty · 07/09/2023 18:36

TBH at that age I wouldn't have wanted ds eating a bunch of processed anything, whether it contained sugar or not. The meals will be as cheap as anything to maximise profit and what they call 'beetroot cake' might still have a ton of sugar in it - the catering company will want it to sound good for parents but will also want the kids to actually eat it.
The school dinners at ds's school are appalling - they got a lot worse after covid. It's all a lot of cheap processed crap.

ActDottie · 07/09/2023 18:37

What type of nursery is it? Ours is a sugar free nursery so even when they serve dessert you know it’s not got chocolate etc in it

Original poster

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:37

Olika · 07/09/2023 18:06

It was unbelievable (to me) how much crap they were giving at my DD's ex nursery.

@Olika its genuinely made me want to move to a different nursery 🤦🏼‍♀️ I feel like it’s such a basic thing to get right. I also don’t think it’s right that a place im paying 72 pounds a day is lazy with their food selection.

OP posts:

Original poster

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:38

itsmyp4rty · 07/09/2023 18:36

TBH at that age I wouldn't have wanted ds eating a bunch of processed anything, whether it contained sugar or not. The meals will be as cheap as anything to maximise profit and what they call 'beetroot cake' might still have a ton of sugar in it - the catering company will want it to sound good for parents but will also want the kids to actually eat it.
The school dinners at ds's school are appalling - they got a lot worse after covid. It's all a lot of cheap processed crap.

@itsmyp4rty i have checked what he had for main meals and it all does sound processed. My fault for not checking this before he went, though.

OP posts:

ColleenDonaghy · 07/09/2023 18:39

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:37

@Olika its genuinely made me want to move to a different nursery 🤦🏼‍♀️ I feel like it’s such a basic thing to get right. I also don’t think it’s right that a place im paying 72 pounds a day is lazy with their food selection.

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Are they lazy with their food selection?

Ours cooks all food from scratch on the premises every day, sauces are loaded with veg, every meal comes with fruit after. There's a wide variety on offer with little repetition. So I wouldn't be bothered by a couple of small bits of cake.

If it's all bought in, ready meal type stuff then that's different and in that case that's a bigger problem than the cake.

Workawayxx · 07/09/2023 18:39

I have a 2.5 year old who has been in nursery since 10 months and they’ve only ever given natural yoghurt or fruit as puddings. I love it as at least I know that part of the week is basically sugar free!

I don’t think it’s at all strange to ask that your baby is given fruit. I guess it may get tricky as he gets older and understands the others can have something he can’t.

Original poster

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:40

TheBarbieEffect · 07/09/2023 18:16

Of course I’m judgemental. There’s no need for bribery - it’s lazy and sends an awful message that the kids are in charge. They’re not.

Taking the “easy” way out now makes it harder later on. That’s why your friends end up dealing with this for months - because they’re not parenting effectively.

Some things aren’t a choice. They have to get in the car seat/pram etc. It’s also okay for children to tantrum, and it isn’t our job to fix it. It’s our job to help them through it.

I have a toddler and a baby. A toddler who has woken every two hours for over two years. I understand exhausted. I do not understand sending terrible messages and making life harder for yourself later.

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@TheBarbieEffect @MariaVT65

Sorry to interrupt your debate… the point with my post is that at 72 pounds a day, I’m not sure the nursery should be ‘lazy’? But it’s my fault for not checking this beforehand.

If parents want to bribe their kids with chocolate, go ahead. But I’m paying a lot of money for him to be given a load of rubbish, basically. And no that’s not being precious, it’s just sensible.

OP posts:

Original poster

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:42

ColleenDonaghy · 07/09/2023 18:39

Are they lazy with their food selection?

Ours cooks all food from scratch on the premises every day, sauces are loaded with veg, every meal comes with fruit after. There's a wide variety on offer with little repetition. So I wouldn't be bothered by a couple of small bits of cake.

If it's all bought in, ready meal type stuff then that's different and in that case that's a bigger problem than the cake.

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@ColleenDonaghy thanks, I need to check this. I feel an idiot for not having already done so!

OP posts:

1daughterand3sons · 07/09/2023 18:42

YourNameGoesHere · 07/09/2023 11:34

Is it actually a chocolate cake though? I rather suspect it's not actually anything remotely resembling a chocolate cake as you would think of it, DS has cake at nursery it's made with beetroot. 😂

DD 16 used to love the schools chocolate cake.
One day I was talking to the school cook and she told me there was no chocolate in the chocolate cake it was make with beetroot.

Orange67 · 07/09/2023 18:42

Pudding is fine as part of a normal healthy diet. A small bit of cake isn't going to do your child any harm, but restricting food might.

Your child will definitely come across chocolate before they're 4. Are you never going to allow them to join in at birthday parties?

Echobelly · 07/09/2023 18:44

I'm not sure they could implement it, but honestly I wish there was a national policy of only fruit as dessert in childcare because giving them sweets sets up an expectation that meals are followed by dessert and it's just not necessary and not healthy. Sure, allow kids treats a maybe a couple of times a week, but I seriously think we could improve health of the nation if we didn't give young kids sweets in care and education settings every day.

Olika · 07/09/2023 18:44

@Amilp I know. They were giving them cakes and brownies at our nursery and my DD who had never had chocolate before got really bad skin reaction. And pizza every week. She could go without pooing for days. Now that she is home with me eating homemade food her stools are working on daily basis and I know she is eating healthy. I can see there are differences between what they give from PPs so perhaps you could find a different nursery?

Happyandyoudontknowit · 07/09/2023 18:46

It’s a totally normal request. At my setting we have half the kids who are allowed sweet puddings and the other half have fruit :)

Pigriver · 07/09/2023 18:47

My son's nursery asked us when he started whether he was allowed sweet puddings or not. They asked again when he moved to the toddler room at 2.
Then again if it is a large chain they will have strict criteria and menus and the puddings will be low sugar and tiny.
When it was a small family run nursery to food was terrible but now it's part of busy bees the menu has changed completely.

Didimum · 07/09/2023 18:49

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:35

@Didimum i’d say possibly the problem with obesity in this country is the fact that few people are shocked at giving an 11 month old cake twice a week after a meal… so yes I am a bit shocked by it! I am a big chocolate lover myself and eat far too much so I am by no means perfect, but my son has no idea what day it is let alone what a balanced diet is, so there’s really no need for him to be eating that yet.

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Well no, the obesity epidemic is not caused by eating chocolate every day, but rather the miseducation of nutrition, recognition of satiety, and one’s own emotional connections with food.

Imenti · 07/09/2023 18:50

We asked for fruit and natural yoghurt only for my son and have done the same with my daughter who has just started. It's not unusual here, they said it's about 50/50. We relaxed more when he was about 3 and started to notice what other people were having and didn't mind the odd piece of birthday cake but that didn't really start happening until around that age anyway.

As others have said though, if he did have a cookie it was often no sugar / low sugar home made on site. I'd ask a bit more their menu, but totally reasonable to ask for just fruit/yoghurt when they are tiny.

UntidyFairy · 07/09/2023 18:53

My DC genuinely didn't know what chocolate was aged 2.5

My dd was 6 months when a friend popped a chocolate button in her mouth.
I was in another room so unaware until I came back into the kitchen. Most of it was round her face so not much was swallowed. It wasn't too much of a big deal then as my dds were weaned at 4 months (that was the advice back in the dark ages) so she was already eating solid food. I was a bit miffed that I hadn't seen her face when she tasted it but that wore off in seconds.

I think 3 or 4 is a bit ambitious for them not to discover chocolate. They're going to come across it way before then. As for nurseries giving cake dessert. Are you sure it's every day? Or just some days?

Clefable · 07/09/2023 18:54

Ours is a tiny nursery but there is a chef on site who cooks fresh meals every day, no just reheating ready meals etc. I'd eat the stuff they get! To my amazement DD1 ate two bowls of prawn jambalaya the other day. If I made that, she'd probably cry.

Ohthatsabitshit · 07/09/2023 18:56

Actually I think pudding after every meal, sweets and chocolates for prizes at school or for end of term presents and juice/squash instead of water IS a big part of the obesity problem. It’s a ridiculous amount of processed sugar with very little nutritional value.

Lulubo1 · 07/09/2023 18:56

I've had this exact conversation with our nursery. I don't want my DD having any added sugar until she's at least 2yrs (she's 14mo currently). She is in the baby room and they are fantastic! They happily give her fruit as her pudding instead. At breakfast time, they give her readybrek (as there is no added sugar) instead of Weetabix/cornflakes like the other kids. At the end of the day, she is my child and I make the decisions that affect her health. Every nursery I went to visit before picking the final one said it wasn't an issue and we're happy to.

JaukiVexnoydi · 07/09/2023 18:57

Ywbvu to ask nursery to treat your child differently. If this is important to you then find a different nursery that shares your attitude to chocolate. You can't make your kid be the one who gets given apple while everyone else in the room is eating cake.

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 18:58

Amilp · 07/09/2023 18:40

@TheBarbieEffect @MariaVT65

Sorry to interrupt your debate… the point with my post is that at 72 pounds a day, I’m not sure the nursery should be ‘lazy’? But it’s my fault for not checking this beforehand.

If parents want to bribe their kids with chocolate, go ahead. But I’m paying a lot of money for him to be given a load of rubbish, basically. And no that’s not being precious, it’s just sensible.

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Sorry OP, i’ve hopefully address your specific nursery question in my other posts. If it’s actual cake and not other healthy type cakes people are referencing here, then yes i agree with you.

To clarify, the whole ‘bribery’ subject was brought up in reference to your mention of not giving chocolate to your kid until they 4. I simply listed examples of why kids are exposed to it before then.

2chocolateoranges · 07/09/2023 18:58

I’ve worked in 3 early years centres and we didn’t serve cake of any sort. All were healthy eating nurseries with fruit, yogurt or low fat jelly pots given after lunch.

Confetto · 07/09/2023 19:00

Have the people saying it sets children up for sweet things every tried nursery cake? School cake is DREADFUL. If there is leftovers (which there often is, because the kids know it's awful) it sits completely uneaten in the staffroom. It genuinely tastes as savory as the main course. It is not even remotely sweet. Most nurseries already give a fruit snack morning and afternoon so I disagree with having more after lunch. Just do away with pudding altogether if you're that worried.