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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will nursery find this a strange request?

152 replies

Amilp · 07/09/2023 11:31

DS recently started nursery. He’s 11 months. I’ve realised that he is given a desert after his lunch and after his dinner. This is chocolate cake, sponge cake, etc. AIBU to ask them to just give him fruit instead? I don’t want to kick up a fuss but I wasn’t planning on introducing chocolate etc until he was 3 or 4??

OP posts:
sequin2000 · 07/09/2023 19:01

My daughter wasn't allowed lollies. I had to think twice when she became fixated on the forbidden fruit and I caught her asking any child with a lolly for a lick!

sequin2000 · 07/09/2023 19:04

This is in response to denying chocolate before 4. I agree that babies don't need sugary puddings.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/09/2023 19:05

I think you are being a bit unrealistic to think you will wait until school age. As a baby I'd ask for choc not to be given, sure, but toddlers will absolutely be able to see and compare what they are getting to others. I would think that being the only kid who is excluded from treats is more damaging that a bit of choc cake.

I think that when you decide to use group childcare, you have to largely accept the norms or the environment. If you want control over all choices you need a nanny.

Pregnantandsweaty · 07/09/2023 19:11

Do you know for sure it’s chocolate cake?

Original poster
Amilp · 07/09/2023 19:13

Olika · 07/09/2023 18:44

@Amilp I know. They were giving them cakes and brownies at our nursery and my DD who had never had chocolate before got really bad skin reaction. And pizza every week. She could go without pooing for days. Now that she is home with me eating homemade food her stools are working on daily basis and I know she is eating healthy. I can see there are differences between what they give from PPs so perhaps you could find a different nursery?

@Olika thanks. I’ve just checked on the online portal and there’s pizza every Friday! Fab…

OP posts:
Original poster
Amilp · 07/09/2023 19:15

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 18:58

Sorry OP, i’ve hopefully address your specific nursery question in my other posts. If it’s actual cake and not other healthy type cakes people are referencing here, then yes i agree with you.

To clarify, the whole ‘bribery’ subject was brought up in reference to your mention of not giving chocolate to your kid until they 4. I simply listed examples of why kids are exposed to it before then.

Show quote history

@TheBarbieEffect @MariaVT65 sorry I realise how passive aggressive my post looked about ‘interrupting’ you both! I was actually being sincere, I didn’t want to interrupt! Haha. Thank you for your input, it’s genuinely helped to discuss it here. Just found out they do pizza every Friday so that’s put the tin lid on it for me now (pardon the pun!)

OP posts:
AD1996 · 07/09/2023 19:15

YABU, but we don’t restrict certain food here so maybe I’m just more laid back about it (mine is 20 months and has been going to nursery since 9 months)

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 07/09/2023 19:17

It won't be chocolate cake as you know it!!!! It'll be made with natural yoghurt and courgettes or something.

TookTheBook · 07/09/2023 19:19

These threads pop up every now and again and give me a chuckle.

In the real world, I was "that" parent like you OP and nursery treated it as a perfectly normal request, so we can't be the only ones! My kids (and others!) got yoghurt and/or fruit instead of big wodges of cake daily, and I'm still glad they did.

It meant we knew what treats they were having all week if we chose to have something nice as a family, rather than them having dessert every day.

TheBarbieEffect · 07/09/2023 19:28

@MariaVT65 Do you actually even have children? Confused

FrogsWormsandCaterpillars · 07/09/2023 19:28

I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with pizza either. I bet it’s homemade with low sugar tomato sauce, it won’t be a Domino’s 😂

Allhailkingcharlie · 07/09/2023 19:28

Normally they are very very small portions too

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 07/09/2023 19:35

What's wrong with pizza? Grin

NuffSaidSam · 07/09/2023 19:36

I think you're being a bit silly about the pizza. It's bread, tomatoes and cheese. All fine.

The cake is bad practise though. Absolutely no need for babies or toddlers to have pudding at all. It's a really bad habit to get into. If they must have pudding, it absolutely doesn't need to be cake. Food in nurseries is often very poor though.

AntiHop · 07/09/2023 19:40

I agree with you op.

Both my girls were at nursery 4 days a week from aged 9 or 10 months. They didn't have nursery sweet desserts until they were 2. Even sweetened yoghurt.

Watchthedoormat · 07/09/2023 19:42

I'm pretty sure fruit will have more sugar than the cake/desert.

RaininSummer · 07/09/2023 19:46

My daughter asked the nursery to stop giving desserts and sweet treats as she wanted the children to be able to share the things she made at home without having too many sweet things in one day.

MariaVT65 · 07/09/2023 19:48

TheBarbieEffect · 07/09/2023 19:28

@MariaVT65 Do you actually even have children? Confused

Yes i have a 2 year old and another one on the way. The bribery thing is what i’ve heard from several of my friends.

What’s your point?

NuffSaidSam · 07/09/2023 19:49

Watchthedoormat · 07/09/2023 19:42

I'm pretty sure fruit will have more sugar than the cake/desert.

But all the nutritional benefits of fruit as well presumably? Whereas the cake...

whatsappdoc · 07/09/2023 19:54

2chocolateoranges · 07/09/2023 18:58

I’ve worked in 3 early years centres and we didn’t serve cake of any sort. All were healthy eating nurseries with fruit, yogurt or low fat jelly pots given after lunch.

Surely no parent in their right mind would prefer their child having a jellypot over cake? The Hartley's ones have ingredients that read like a witch's potion.

wutheringkites · 07/09/2023 19:55

Watchthedoormat · 07/09/2023 19:42

I'm pretty sure fruit will have more sugar than the cake/desert.

Not all sugars are the same.

QuestionableMouse · 07/09/2023 19:56

PinkRoses1245 · 07/09/2023 11:40

I'd be challenging the nursery on that - a sweet dessert with every meal is totally unnecessary. Should be fruit or yoghurt only.

Lots of fruit and yoghurt will have more sugar than the cake!

It's mad to withhold foods - everything in moderation is fine.

ASCCM · 07/09/2023 19:57

Hahah this is hilarious. Seriously, don’t die in ditch over this kind of thing. Chocolate isn’t going to kill your kid. Save your energy and battles for things that matter!!

RhiWrites · 07/09/2023 19:59

I think this division of food into bad (cake, pizza, according to OP) and good (fruit, yoghurt) is actually most likely to promote disordered eating.

I agree with whoever said that meals don’t require a pudding. But equally some sugar or chocolate is not wrong. These foods exist.

Balanced, proportionate, nutritious food is what’s important not artificial or arbitrary decisions about what age a child can learn that chocolate exists.

Illbebythesea · 07/09/2023 20:01

I honestly do not believe a nursery is feeding a child chocolate cake twice a day. Either it’s ‘healthy’ cake or it’s not that frequent. Either way I agree banning certain foods entirely is not the way to go. If his full time maybe ask he only has cake twice a week and fruit 3x or something. I would really check the ingredients though because I can’t imagine it’s a big standard sugary chocolate cake they’re serving up.