School bans ALL physical contact

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The parents haven't been informed by the school of this rule, but the kids have been told they will get a warning for the first transgression and then a detention is it happens again. No physical contact at all permitted. How are they going to enforce it and is this the case is any other school (from a quick Google I found that a school in Essex has done this) and AIBU to think it's ridiculous? I have 2 DCs in this school so it will affect them.

But neither is it inappropriate

That's so sad to read.
Hugging and holding hands is such a normal thing for children/humans to do.

It is part of school culture, it is very very easy to regulate, no issues at all

It isn't a common school rule. The fact that you have encountered it doesn't make it common.

If children can't touch each other, they can't physically/sexually assault each other. If there is inappropriate touching its much easier to penalise the perpetrator if there is a blanket ban on all touching. As UK schools seem to be hotbed of sexual and physical assault I would say a no touching rule seems to be a sensible starting point.

And the overwhelming majority of people on this thread thankfully agree with me.

I don't really understand why people think this is "the way the world is going" - this has been a bog standard school rule in many schools, forever. Nothing new about it

I’m sure whipping children was easy to regulate; and very much a part of school culture at one time.

Thinking about a family member who lost their mum at 13 to cancer. How her frineds supported her in the 5 years her mum was battling it and when she died. How their friendship and hugs helped soothe her through the most difficult time in her life. Her home life was traumatic in other ways too, so no, she couldn't have got that same comfort at home. Her dad wasn't in the picture and she was being raised by a grandfather who was also grieving.

There are MANY similar things that teenagers will be going through and different circumstances why they might need to seek comfort from friends. It actually sickens me that people can be okay with depriving them of that.

So many people seem to miss the point when on about work by mentioned "inappropriate" and "unwanted" and "consensual"

Of course unwanted contact is banned.

But consensual hugs and touches are allowed

Here they've banned it all.

That's extreme and too far the other way. It teaches that any touch is some how evil and wicked. That physical contact is wrong no matter what

Children spend much more like half their time at school. Building healthy relationships is important and consensual touch is part of that.

Covid showed us that without human touch things were horrible and depressing. I remember hugging one friend very quickly because we hadn't for ages and we needed it but the "rules" didn't allow it. It felt so good even for that brief second. Human contact is, for most people, incredibly important

Do you ever wonder why.

Have you ever worked in a secondary school?

I wonder why teachers believe exclusions are on people's CVs for life? I've never seen one that detailed anything about a person's school life other than the qualifications they gained. Employers really have zero interest in how someone behaved at the age of 13.

Seriously? I genuinely feel sorry for you, that you have such an aggressive and hateful view of boys and men. Yes they’re undoubtedly many men out there that are cruel and vicious. But to feel such hatred for the entire male population is not healthy. I’m assuming you don’t have male a child?
Throughout my life I have experienced equally negative, cruel and violent behaviour by both males and females.
We need to focus on instilling respectful behaviour on all children not instilling hate and creating barriers against an entire sex- no good will come of that.

It really hasn't. Fortunately most schools have more sense.

I assume it makes it much easier to stop/punish genuinely problematic behaviour (which was rife in my secondary school days, boys grabbing girls whenever they felt like it) but they wouldnt actually punish a child comforting another child eg best friend's arm round shoulder of crying child, because teachers are also humans. In which case, fine.

I'd be so incredibly sad if this was introduced in DC's school. Neither DD or DS touch other people inappropriately, but it's completely normal for the school nurse to comfort an upset child, or the PE staff to fist bump a child who has just won a race/scored a goal/try and for the kids to give a congratulatory back slap/group team hug, when someone has just equalised for the team. Or even if they've lost a game but played well.

This was standard in the (ordinary and typical) school I taught in until the early 2000s.

Parents:

Schools should do something. My child was hurt/bullied/assaulted/jostled/is scared at lunchtimes/etc

Schools: do something

Parents: but not that

😏

The workplace is totally different. Adults work in the workplace - their brains are pretty much fully developed, unlike those of secondary school age children. Contact in lots of forms is vital for forming bonds and learning.

The most important thing your kiddos school should be doing instead, is focussing on teaching the kids about forming their own personal boundaries.
Thats a skill/personality trait skill that often is lacking in older teens/young adults and which often will carry on into older adulthood - leaving those people vulnerable in all sorts of ways.

For my own child, forming their own boundaries is becoming really important now at age 21, and they have realised this being at uni in clubs and bars where they get a lot of very unwanted attention.
That doesn’t mean they don’t love hugs or whatever from those people they are close too!

Your child’s school clearly has their ‘woke’ goggles on and they need to get back to basics and stop being so clinical and stupidly strict.

That simply isn't true. You sound depressingly batshit.

The most important thing your kiddos school should be doing instead, is focussing on teaching the kids about forming their own personal boundaries.

Well, yes. Imposing a blanket no touching rule clearly doesn't teach them that, though, does it? It just teaches them to conform to a wholly arbitrary boundary imposed by a third party.

Spot on.

and what has that got to do with anything?

I’ve never heard of this before so I don’t think it is ‘common’. The reason they haven’t told parents is clearly that it’s absolutely ridiculous, detrimental to the children and they’re going to get kick back from parents. I’ve had numerous hugs of colleagues, all when something awful has happened and it’s been appreciated. There’s a very important message around consensual touching and you actually can’t teach and model that without allowing any contact.