Aibu for wanting to speak to HR regarding a smelly colleague?

[Pianoplayer190]

Long story short, I have a colleague who has worked with us for years but has an awful smell.

Unfortunately her body odour is overwhelming and makes me feel very nauseous. I’m very sensitive to bad smells and I get a waft of the bad smell because she’s placed herself directly next to me.

Shes morbidly obese. We have quite a few larger colleagues that work with us but they never have an odour. I’m just really struggling to get through my day without walking up to HR and saying there’s an issue.

Ive not said a word to other people as effectively that’s just me being vile then. But I need to share the issue because I’m struggling to get through my day. I can’t move office space or desk.

The smell is like faecal matter, a period pad left in the sun and a wet mop. That’s all I can say and I’m really and truly suffering. I heaved at lunch today while eating.

AIBU if I complain.

The comments on here re cleanliness and morbid obesity are ridiculous and illustrate people's prejudice.
Anyone who is so very severely morbidly obese as to be unable to wash and get sores would be so big that you would not come across them in the workplace as they would likely be disabled by their weight and unable to work.

Anyway I'm leaving this thread now. Of course it goes without saying that nobody should have to tolerate offensive body smells at work so I agree that the OP should raise this with her manger.
This whole thread could have been conducted in a way that was not offensive to fat people but hey ho that's Mumsnet. I should be used to it by now.

I will put a fiver in a charity pot that her weight has something to do with it. This isn't the bloody Fail trying to fat shame someone under the guise of 'xxx looking gorgeous on the beach' when we all know they look like a blancmange. It's an anonymous chat forum.

To be clear, the vast majority of obese people have great personal hygiene, but this lady clearly doesn't. I apologise if anyone has misinterpreted my posts to think I am generalising a majority. I am not.

But Britain has a fat epidemic and it won't get any better if we pussy foot around it. Had I known size 16 was overweight a long time ago, rather than thinking it was ok because it was UK average, I probably wouldn't be the size I am now. WE need to do something about it. Stop removing weight from discussions where relevant for starters.

Sorry I think I misread your earlier post.

Yes I agree.

That's not necessarily true at all.

Everyone carries fat differently, so some people will be able to reach around themselves easier than others.

Also, you don't have to be morbidly obese to get sores in fat folds.

Stop talking shite. Many people are morbidly obese, work, do not smell and are not disabled! If you can’t cope with the OP asking a question without throwing the ‘prejudice’ line you’re probably best leaving the thread tbh.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Fat people have folds of skin which need cleaning properly and if too fat to have a bath they will smell unwashed

I have to talk to someone at work about this on Monday.

Colleagues have tried to he subtle but it is going over his head so they've come to me.
Dreading it tbh.

The way this thread is turning into 'all fat people stink' narrative is quite frankly, disgusting.

Skinny people are just as capable of stinking to high heaven if they dont shower/wash. It isn't the sole territory of obese people.

I'm 20st and i don't stink, i shower daily, clean/dry properly, wear clean clothes, a normal amount of deodorant/body spray.

If you have a funky colleague problem, it could be hygiene, it could be a medical problem, but making the assumption that it's purely because she happens to be fat is fatphobic.

its called having a shower.

No worries, I often skim read things too ☺️

Just fucking stop it.

Someone has to be REALLY impaired/disabled to not be able to clean themselves to the point of smelling that bad.

Sour yoghurt smell? Fishy? Could be BV

Fat people are able to use a shower....

Because it makes it less easy for some people to wash.

Tell who you need to about your colleague
and hopefully things will improve.
In the meantime, eat your lunch away from your desk in the fresh air.

I quite agree that many people are morbidly obese, work, do not smell and are not disabled. I have been broadly saying that. I meant that for the tiny minority of fat people who are so disabled by their weight that they are unable to take care of their hygiene you would be unlikely to see them in a work arena. I think you misunderstood me. I'm a fat person, working, and with good hygiene!

Some people suffer from depression, others may not be depressed but have other things going on in their life that they overlook personal hygiene. Some may be morbidly obese and they can’t reach the areas that need washed and they SHOULD be asking for help instead of inflicting their body odour on others. What it comes back to is the OP shouldn’t be subjected to gagging because of the smell.

Yes of course, how else do you wash your feet? My balance isn't great so I have a long handled brush which I'm steadier with.

HR person here - that’s not a HR issues it’s a management issue. Speak to her or your manager. If they are not dealing with it after that speak to their manager

DO NOT go to HR!!! People always think HR should do the shitty jobs.

This is for the line manager to deal with and if they don't, then their line manager.

When I was very young and fairly new to HR, I got roped into having to have that conversation with someone. It was so awkward and horrible, and absolutely NOT my job!! People are paid to be managers for a reason - just fucking manage!

As for those who are bitching that she smells because she's morbidly obese - do have a word with yourselves!! It's perfectly possible to be hygienic and overweight, you know!

Maybe the woman has personal issues going on causing her to be depressed and not up to washing as she needs to? Maybe she doesn't have decent facilities?

Surely if one showers in the morning before work but their body has lots of skin folds due to being overweight, after a few hours in the heat the folds will start to smell again?

And I think that would be hard to deal with, as it's not like a quick case of nipping to the loo and washing the armpits/spraying deodorant or something.

So perhaps it's not about being too overweight/disabled to shower, but more about being able to maintain a BO-free body throughout the day?

As @Appleofmyeye2023 mentions, some people have a remarkable sense of smell allowing them to detect medical conditions.

Why we don’t have first line NHS Sniffers, I dunno!?
Maybe we do, it’s just one of those stealth superpowers.

I have walked in to closed meeting room of just male colleagues & the ‘aroma’ has made my eyes water & that is not just the after-shave du jour.
Likewise my OH - who has a semi-professional nose - has worked in a predominantly female environment & has said that no matter how clean & perfumed his colleagues were, the room smelt female & he could tell when his colleagues were menstruating.

I wonder if this is why some cannot take to unisex toilets in the workplace?
Somehow, our primal brains cannot adapt to a mixed set of pungent pheromones when people go to the loo.

My mum when teaching primary grades could smell asthma on some kids, & therefore anticipate their asthma attacks as the child’s smell became more pungent. She became adept at keeping the child calm to delay the onset of attack - long before inhalers were available.

I worked alongside a fellow who had no sense of smell - childhood illness wiped this out - & he was scrupulous about his hygiene, took no chances so everything was clean on, no repeat wearing, no passes by sniffing, & he told colleagues so that if he did smell he was open to being told.

I think that OP should approach HR as they may coach the line manager to have a useful conversation. It may be that the colleague has an underlying health condition or home circumstances beyond their control.

Last but not least, some people just don’t care or have erroneous beliefs about hygiene.

No actually. Even if you have skin folds it's possible to keep hygienic for a day. Morning shower, bar soap, good deodorant (and can spray in skin folds), other things like medicated talc helps. Small deodorant spray in work bag for use during the day if needed. Clean fresh clothes.
Hope that helps.

As a HR Professional... no. Not every issue is for HR to deal with.
Speak to your manager or her manager.

The number of things people come to HR with is annoying.