My children were invited into a strangers house! Am I over reacting?

[Flowers94]

This is quite long but basically my children are 8&9 and have been playing out at the back of our house for a few months but know where they can and can’t go. a few days ago they’ve gone out and when I’ve gone to shout them in they weren’t responding so I’ve panicked and when they returned about 10 mins later they’ve been in a house about 12 door up stroking a cat.
I’ve explained the them about stranger danger and asked what’s happened and they’ve said the cat was lost so they’ve found it and this couple have said to them that the cat is shy so do they want to come in and stroke/feed the cat.

i went mad at the kids which I maybe shouldn’t have done but they know we don’t go into strangers houses, I am considering going to this couples house and suggesting they don’t invite children into their home as to me that’s extremely odd.
is this an overreaction on my part? Or do normal adults invite children into their homes to stroke there pets

The PP said they shouldn't be out ALONE, not that they shouldn't be allowed out at all. Agree that they shouldn't be out unsupervised by the sound of it.

I agree. It's your kids you need to work on here

It might be an elderly couple who haven't really thought it through so I reckon it would be best to pop round and just meet them, rather than go round and suggest things.

If they're reasonable people you could explain you were worried that your kids were invited into a stranger's home and hope they understand why you'd be worried.

Hopefully it's all innocent and to be honest, I don't think the occasional reading the riot act to your kids does them any harm. As a little kid I always remember wandering off from the garden (and taking my toddler brother) to a schoolfriend's house 4 houses up. I must have been about the same age as your kids and didn't tell my mum where I was going.

When my parents eventually found us they were beside themselves and we got a proper rollicking that we were never EVER to do that again. I never did that again!

but I am asking advise from other parents as to whether adults should be inviting children into their homes

That's a hard one to answer because as much as I'm sure the majority of us wouldn't, the question of should/should not is kind of irrelevant.

I think I'd pop down there tomorrow and have a chat with them. Maybe work it into the conversation that you were very worried when you looked out and they were gone, but make it clear it's them you're disappointed in.

Doesn't matter of adults should it shouldn't

What you going to do with that information?

You are absolutely right to yell at your kids. If they were about to put their head in the oven you would yell at them for that too. They should be thoroughly drilled down then told you love them and you never want anything to happen to them.

As for this couple, yes, they are idiots. They may weirdos or not but they are definitely idiots. Many moons ago, our next door neighbours daughter (age 7) knocked wanting to come in and see our new baby- the answer was of course she could providing she goes home and her parents ok it first. We had a great relationship but no one in their right mind invites in a child without checking a parent knows where they are.

I’d absolutely not be ok with this. I have a very valid reason for this which is the extreme end but absolutely no way would I be happy with this.

Well no-one would be happy with it, surely?

The OP must've got quite a shock when she called for them and they weren't there, just like most people would.

It sounds like your dc maybe aren’t ready for the the responsibility of being out without supervision.
Were these people elderly?

And also yeah they can invite whoever they want in, but they are setting themselves up for vigilante behaviour imo. It’s naive of them at best.

Don't you want advice from non parents.

I probably wouldn't even think much about inviting 2 kids I knew off the street to briefly stoke a cat. (50 something woman)
I would be concerned about a toddler roaming about but not 9-10 year olds. If my partner also there I wouldn't change how I thought.

If someone came over basically accusing me of all sorts I'd be nortified and offended.

Thankyou for everyone who replied to be helpful and not berate my parenting.
I will go down tomorrow and just have a chat with them/explain that the children aren’t allowed in strangers homes.

i would also like to clarify that they’re playing in an old cobbled back street that can’t be driven down and that I can see from my garden, I am not letting them roam the streets.

I'd go and have a word with the couple. Question whether they realise that it's not really the done thing and caused you worry. Tell them your kids aren't allowed into strangers houses. If they were up to something, that should scare them a bit.

My Dd did something similar when she started going out despite being very clear on the stranger danger rules. I banned her from playing out for two months. She never did it again.

Instead of telling your children what not to do, I think it can help sometimes instead to tell them what to do. So, instead of saying, ‘never go into somebody’s house’, tell them what they can do if somebody asks them to come into the house. It might be saying ‘no I’m not allowed’ and then coming straight home for example. But telling them not to do something is kind of giving them a void versus actually the action you want them to do.

But you DID let them roam the streets and you clearly weren't watching them 'from your garden'...

Thanks burnout babe I really appreciate your non parent perspective!
I won’t go and accuse them of anything because they might be lovely and it could have been innocent like you have said. It just scared me and It’s just something I would never think to do

Nothing has happened, why are you jumping straight to vigilantes?

Do you live somewhere that people are targeted for no reason?

Onamidnighttraintogeorgia, why do you care so much haha

Of course I can tell them

I will always challenge adults who behave inappropriately towards my children. My only priority is my children, not being polite to random adults.
I don't care if they 'listen to me' - I want to make clear to them that I'm not going to let weird or harmful behaviour go unchallenged.
People who seek to harm children will push boundaries to see what they can get away with.

vigilante - because of my experience and the memories of everyone on the estate. If another couple on our estate had invited children in, they’d have paedo written across their front door in shit. It’s a bloody stupid thing to do with kids you know, let alone kids you don’t. Anyone with a bad experience would immediately consider the conclusion I have.

after what happened, we’d knock home first and say - am I allowed in so and so’s house before we went in.

It's not a good idea, no matter how lovely they are, to invite children into their house if they don't know the family. Firstly it's eroding children's boundaries about what is and isn't appropriate. Children are taught - and you've taught yours, OP - not to go into strangers' houses.

I would keep an open mind; they may well just not have thought about it, but I would make it clear your children are not allowed to go into strangers' houses.

And tbh if their judgement is iffy I'd not be very happy about allowing the children to visit in future, even if you do go and talk to them and thus get to know them.

I think the question is why DONT you!?

Isn't that the point, if your children can be "enticed" into things you don't want them to do, they shouldn't be out unsupervised.

The cat people just did a nice thing. Personally I don't think it's terrible to invite two children together in for a few minutes to stroke a cat. These people were no risk to DC so what have they done wrong?

It sounds like they just aren't mature enough to play out of sight yet.