Daughter has wrecked the walls

[whatthehell1e]

8 year old daughter in a tantrum as I told her off for her behaviour yesterday (she painted the wardrobe in my room with her paints). I walked upstairs and she has sprayed her room, my room, hallway and her brother’s wall in baby oil. Whole brand new bottle. I have wiped it with towels but it’s not coming off. It looks like it has but after 5th attempt the wall dries but oil marks very visible. I’m really stressed. We cannot afford to decorate it all and it looks horrendous. I actually thought it was damp before I saw the empty oil bottle.

@MoxieFox This 100%. It’s quite shocking how frequently this sort of nonsense gets dished out in an attempt to sound self important. It’s such a disservice to the OP as well

I was shocked to read it.

It happens frequently, unfortunately, and there have been a few posters pushing this on this thread.

Wow. This is a reach and a half

Approx 1 in 100 people are psychopaths
Much higher stats for sociopathy and bpd.
Experts tend to put npd at anything between 1 in 20 and 1 in 7. So no, cluster b personality disorders are not rare.

So no its not scare mongering to point out that its a possibility. A very real possibility.

If you think it's remotely normal to have a child threaten an adult with 'getting them in trouble by crying' I don't know what kind of children you know. But they, just like ops kid, need some serious therapy, fast.

I'm all for consequences, but they should if possible relate to the effects of the transgression.

Taking away tech is more like punishing with a fine than teaching that actions themselves give rise to unintended consequences.

And the autistic children from the dark ages of parenting, like me, have life-long trauma from beatings and other abuse.

The good news is that you won’t notice most psychopaths because they blend in well. You are also deliberately omitting the fact that the % of females with this particular pd is a fraction of the overall number.
There are tons of reasons why this child is acting in this atrocious fashion. It’s clear from the OP’s posts that there are issues at home that might explain why she is acting out. Obviously it needs to be addressed and counselling might be a good idea. But don’t start off with possible diagnoses.

I have this disorder that you suggest as a cause and as stated earlier on the thread I would never have tried to do this at home because I knew the consequences would be severe. You pick targets that are too weak or pliable to vent your anger, and if an 8 year old has a parent sussed for that role than you know that you need to make changes.

It is less than 1% for both psychopaths and sociopaths for females. The stats for sociopaths are not much higher for females.

The DD is a female.

Why did you add BPD to the mix when it is a fact those with BPD harm themselves and not others? So suspected BPD would indicate the DD is a danger to herself not her little brother.

It is not a ‘very real possibility’ at all. Not when you look at less than 1% compared to 1/3rd of children being nuerodiverse, the fact that the DD has not exhibited any behaviour patterns associated with either psychopathy or sociopathy, and the fact that psychiatrists do not diagnose any children with these disorders because their brains and ability to regulate emotions are not yet fully developed.

Someone has been watching to many medical dramas.

Utter ignorant nonsense.

A) bpd, npd and psychopathy are not the same. B) non of these diagnoses necessarily make someone dangerous. C) the child’s behaviour does not indicate any of these and d) even if it did, children are not given any of these diagnoses.

You sound like a GCSE Student who has got their hands on their first psychology textbook and wants to be edgy.

Also @Pinkbonbon sociopathy is not a diagnostic or clinical term. That would be APD. This behaviour doesn’t mean the little girl has that either.

You could also try washing the oil off with neat ( or slightly diluted) white vinegar. It will pong for a bit but just might do the trick. I think I’d get your daughter to help with this.

@Pinkbonbon

FYI @Dilapidateddilapidate has form on other threads for resorting to personal insults to put down other posters' intelligence.

So take from that what you will.

Where do I say they are all the same?

Well we're going to disagree if you think a child threatening an adult in such a way is neurotypical behaviour.

Is autism a possibility? Sure.
Or perhaps that the child has been abused unbeknown to her mother. Also a possibility.

But although certain disorders are not diagnosed in childhood as the personality is still forming, they do start to form in childhood. And childhood is the only time anything can be done to prevent them becoming established in adulthood.

All kids can be bad sometimes...but even as kids we knew the ones that were on a different level. So let's not deny that children can be bad, very bad. As uncomfortable as that might make us. The good news is they are young enough that they can be helped. But not if we pussy foot around pretending that kids are saints.

@Pinkbonbon
”Well we're going to disagree if you think a child threatening an adult in such a way is neurotypical behaviour.”

I have just re-read all the posts by the OP and cannot find any mention of the DD threatening the OP at all. Can you please point out what you see as a threat?

Stop stalking me across threads.

You know full well that your comments on the other tread were extremely unpleasant, were reported by many people and have now been deleted by mnhq because they broke the guidelines.

Actually laughable.

@Dilapidateddilapidate
Some specific ones because probably of someone like yourself finding fault with my exact wording.
However the vast majority of my comments remain. All in the very same spirit.

If you think that someone reacting to a poster being subjected to a personal attack and their intelligence being insulted has something to do with you outside the fact that you are the one doing those things, we'll have to agree to disagree.

I didn’t report any of your posts 🤷‍♀️.

Yeah i went back and had a look, took a screenshot to save you hunting for it, it's about half way down the second paragraph, onwards.

@MoxieFox
Sorry my above was for you.

@whatthehell1e I might have missed this being suggested already, but I’d try spraying a lot of hairspray on the stains then once they are saturated, wiping with kitchen roll… I find this works for nearly everything!

@Pinkbonbon

Is it this part “she told me before crying that she’s going to get me in trouble by crying!”

So, to be clear I am getting this right. Do you think that DD who was crying about being afraid that her inability to control her crying might get her mum in trouble is “a threat”?

Nope.
Are you reading that whole post I screenshotted?
Nowhere does op say her daughter is afraid.
Re read it through.

Op even finishes the post by saying 'for some reason she would just turn on me'.
Op herself is saying the kid has form for being scary.