Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hosting loud teenager parties in gardens in residential streets

303 replies

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 17:55

Is this reasonable?

Next door neighbour has given us (and the street) a few days notice of a party that will go on until 12am with loud music and lots of cars arriving /departing. Not enough time to get a room somewhere unfortunately.

I have two primary aged kids and early plans on Sunday morning. Honestly would never be so selfish and would always hire a hall, but I have a feeling I’m in the minority.

AIBU to feel peevish?

OP posts:
NotMadeOfStone · 05/09/2023 20:46

Newbutoldfather · 05/09/2023 20:31

@NotMadeOfStone ,

You are missing the point. Maybe a loud lunch time BBQ on the Sunday before Maths GCSE, going on into the early evening?

I mean, who would be a killjoy?

Honestly this wouldn't ever register with me.

I was brought up on family house parties! We were probably terrorising all of the terribly naice pre-Mumsnet parents.

Itwasntmeguv · 05/09/2023 20:47

They given you notice, they've told you where and when and what will be going on, all sounds pretty considerate to me. Assuming they don't do this every weekend, then live and let live - it's one night, your DC will be just fine and it will probably bother you way more than them!

SpiderExtinction · 05/09/2023 20:48

shitetatts · 05/09/2023 19:25

If it's a one off party on a Saturday then I don't think they're being unreasonable.

If it was every weekend I'd think it was unreasonable.

Sometimes people have weekend parties. Conversely, young children and babies cry and scream in the night at times and keep other neighbours awake.

It's just what you get living in close build residential areas.

These two things are completely different. A baby crying in the night cannot be helped and most people would have sympathy for the parents trying to handle the situation.

A party with loud music is deliberate, showing completely disregard for everyone around them.

I never attended parties like that as a teen, managed to get through 40 years of life not holding a party like that and my own kids also don't attend these kinds of parties or hold them. There's no need for it.

GodessOfThunder · 05/09/2023 20:49

Chill.

roarrfeckingroar · 05/09/2023 21:02

It's one night. Don't be so miserable.

DiscoBeat · 05/09/2023 21:05

If it was a one-off I'd not mind, especially with the heads up. But a few days' notice isn't much!

TheFifthTellytubby · 05/09/2023 21:05

We held a party for our daughter's 18th in the garden, having warned the neighbours and invited them over for a drink, not expecting them to actually want to come... then several of them turned up as they were enjoying the 80s music... 😂

DiscoBeat · 05/09/2023 21:06

NB midnight isn't late for an event like that, anyway,!

Elmerchecks · 05/09/2023 21:11

Maybe see if you can all be invited. The best place to be would be at the party imho

SpiderExtinction · 05/09/2023 21:13

I don't think people are appreciating how much of an impact this kind of noise can have on people. For example, my autistic daughter would have a complete meltdown and it would be constant torture for her due to her sensory needs. It's just very inconsiderate.

waterrat · 05/09/2023 21:14

wow you are unreasonable!

It's midnight at a weekend as a one off - this is life!

Itwasntmeguv · 05/09/2023 21:15

RudsyFarmer · 05/09/2023 20:26

Bit of shrieking occasionally but no they don’t bounce balls and no they don’t swear loudly in the garden.

Show quote history

Give it a few years, OP....

waterrat · 05/09/2023 21:15

@SpiderExtinction I empathise with this as my children are neurodiverse and would also find this stressful - but does that mean nobody can have parties ?

I think regular parties are not acceptable - but a one off - til midnight I think is part and parcel of living on terraced roads - sometimes it happens.

I probably would feel irritated while it happened though!

SpiderExtinction · 05/09/2023 21:19

waterrat · 05/09/2023 21:15

@SpiderExtinction I empathise with this as my children are neurodiverse and would also find this stressful - but does that mean nobody can have parties ?

I think regular parties are not acceptable - but a one off - til midnight I think is part and parcel of living on terraced roads - sometimes it happens.

I probably would feel irritated while it happened though!

I just don't see the need to have these loud parties but that's just me. I appreciate everyone is different.

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2023 21:23

Respectfully @SpiderExtinction one child’s needs don’t overrule the right of the potentially 4/5+ houses around you to host in their own space. Obviously if it was every week then that’s different, but as a one off and if you were given notice as OP has been you can make arrangements to minimise the impact to yourselves on that 1 night, and that is by far fairer than all of your neighbours being prevented from hosting in their own homes/gardens forever.

It’s as I said earlier, everybody has different needs and different things they would find irritating/inconvenient. Hence why in the spirit of being neighbourly we all put up with a certain level of disruption from our neighbours as they do with us, as after all these are the people who can look our for your house while you are away, take your parcels in etc! X

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 05/09/2023 21:24

LlynTegid · 05/09/2023 17:59

Perhaps send a copy to the local authority or whoever is responsible for noise enforcement in your area, in advance. Also if you think there is anyone likely to drink and drive, or any hint of drug taking, call the police straight away on the evening.

Wow. Just wow

Hotcuppatea · 05/09/2023 21:30

You sound like a total misery OP. It's one night.

LifeWithADrinker · 05/09/2023 21:31

If its a one off occurrence, give them a break

ConsuelaHammock · 05/09/2023 21:34

Midnight on a Saturday night is fine . As long as it’s not every Saturday. Sounds like it could be a birthday party.

SpiderExtinction · 05/09/2023 21:34

@Mrsttcno1 If I knew a child was suffering, I could not put them through that for the sake of me having drinks and blasting music out. Completely selfish and entitled.

I don't understand why people have to be so loud to have fun.

HikingforScenery · 05/09/2023 21:43

I’d completely hate this too, OP. Thankfully, after living in our current house for years and years, nobody has ever done this.
During the day? Yes. Night time? no. I’d hire a hall with a dj, etc, too if i held a party for a teen.

Hopefully your children will be able to sleep well with the windows shut.

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2023 21:44

I would argue it’s extremely entitled to expect all of your neighbours to cater to one household’s wishes. Everyone pays their mortgages/rent and so can use their space as they so wish.

SaySomethingMan · 05/09/2023 21:44

wow, just wow st reporting drunk driving? why?

SpiderExtinction · 05/09/2023 21:58

Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2023 21:44

I would argue it’s extremely entitled to expect all of your neighbours to cater to one household’s wishes. Everyone pays their mortgages/rent and so can use their space as they so wish.

That's not really true. There are limitations that a household can engage in, even if the house is owned. It would depend if it became a statutory nuisance or not.

cimena · 05/09/2023 21:59

Between this and the other thread about people Playing Music Outside Sometimes, I’m feeling such love and protective feelings for my grotty neighbourhood where kids play out and people have parties and listen to music and actually, not infrequently at the moment, set a BBQ up in the street, and as a result I know all kinds of things and people and experiences that aren’t mine and I bloody LOVE it.

If you’re not into it then hey you do you, but dear god I hope where I live never changes and I hope I never ever care about a kid bouncing a ball.

Swipe left for the next trending thread