Hosting loud teenager parties in gardens in residential streets

[RudsyFarmer]

Is this reasonable?

Next door neighbour has given us (and the street) a few days notice of a party that will go on until 12am with loud music and lots of cars arriving /departing. Not enough time to get a room somewhere unfortunately.

I have two primary aged kids and early plans on Sunday morning. Honestly would never be so selfish and would always hire a hall, but I have a feeling I’m in the minority.

AIBU to feel peevish?

@cimena I couldn't cope with that, I would have to move. I have actually moved house in the past due to inconsiderate neighbours being loud all through the night. Left my house of 11 years - well, driven out really.

Re the right of people to have parties , legally after 11pm is night hours and there are defined decibel levels that are permitted. Realistically party should go inside at the time but as a one off not the end of the world until midnight

I agree with you on this. Our neighbour had a teen birthday party last weekend and thoroughly took the piss.
Had a vague acknowledgement when they asked if we knew about the party which we didn't. Fine, they're not awful neighbours so should be ok.

It was fucking terrible. The music went UP at 1am and then up again at 2am. Finished around 3am and my DP who can usually sleep through anything had given up and was cleaning the kitchen until they finally shut the fuck up screeching over the ridiculously loud music. They'd already had a daytime party prior to this for the adults and decided to have a follow up party the day after too. Luckily that one finished at a reasonable time.
My kids are very young and somehow slept through most of it - very disturbed sleep but they did at least sleep.

There was no consideration at all for anyone else and certainly no apologies or prior warning it was going to be into the early hours. They have both a hot tub and a bar so maybe I should have anticipated them being twats 😄. They have at least kept a low profile since.

Yes. YABVVVU.

Don't get me wrong, I sigh when the youngsters next door have another gathering when their parents go away, but that's all - sigh.
If you don't live in complete rural isolation then you will have neighbours, and sometimes neighbours timings are out of kilter with yours, but it isn't in any way unreasonable to have a party as a one off.
Bit unusual they have gone to the trouble of letting everyone know, but that would generally be seen as a kind thing rather than an irritant.

No, they can't "hire a hall" as halls won't hire to teens / for 18ths / for 21sts on the whole.

As for the idea that it is somehow a new thing to have a house party
I went to plenty of parties in people houses and gardens as a teen and in my 20s, and that was in the 80s, not sure how you are making a link with COVID.

I can imagine reporting a known drunk driver who is about to get in a car.
But to report someone who you don't even know has had a drink, simply because they have gone to a party next door, just isn't fair. It's also a waste of police time, even if they are able to spare the time to go.

Did you really never go to a house party as a teen/student/young adult?

Of all the OP's weird takes the weirdest is his/her notion that house parties and garden parties have only existed since Covid.

You live near people, you overhear their noise. That's just the way it goes. A party on a Saturday night that only goes til midnight is one of the least annoying types of neighbour noise I can imagine - I love hearing people have fun and usually there'll be a few tunes I enjoy too.

@SpiderExtinction
For example, my autistic daughter would have a complete meltdown and it would be constant torture for her due to her sensory needs. It's just very inconsiderate.
whilst this is stressful, you surely cannot expect ppl to live their lives to suit you, that's inconsiderate.

@HerMammy Is there really any need to have loud parties in a residential neighbourhood though? Potentially upsetting a lot of people such as the elderly, disabled, young children etc?

It's not a need though is it, it's a want, a celebration, one of life's good days.

It's also a one-off with parents on site who are clearly sensible and sensitive to their neighbours.

Honestly; the absolute miseries on this site.

@LetMeEnfoldYou Not miseries, people just don't want to be kept up all night, it's like torture to some people. We don't know if it's a one off or a regular occurrence as OP hasn't said.

You said yourself that it's not a 'need' but rather a 'want'. Perhaps people should start thinking of others, no?

The knobs are out in force again I see, ready to give the OP a kicking for simply expressing the thoughts in her head that she hasn't actually acted on or intends to act on.
It's like witch trials on here.

@HerMammy et al,

’You cannot expect others to lead their lives to suit you’.

Umm, yes you can, and we all do. We just all draw our lines in different places.

Would you be happy with a neighbour nude sunbathing in their own garden for all to see (including children)? Would you be happy with your neighbour having a smoky bonfire while you were drying your washing outside? Would you be happy with a midweek all night party (maybe you would in this one)? These are all examples of you expecting others to live their lives to suit you.

Living close to others is all about consideration. In this case it is a question of whether being considerate to a bunch of teenagers wanting to party outweighs being considerate to younger and older people wanting to enjoy their homes in peace and go to sleep before 1AM. Personally I think the latter outweighs the former; clearly I am outvoted 4:1 in this forum.

@Newbutoldfather I agree with you and in my scenario, the needs of a disabled child should outweigh the 'need' for teenagers to get drunk and cause disturbance.

Perfectly fine. And I'm a grouch.

Till midnight is not ‘being kept up all night’.

I don’t mind occasional parties but my neighbour has one female friend who squeals non stop when drunk. Fills me with rage. I dislike that kind of woman anyway but standing in their hot tub squealing and 1.30am a weekend when my dd had a gcse exam on the Monday did make me yell out the window like a crazy lady to shut up. His parents were on holiday. They are fine, older brother lovely, he however is a selfish twat.

I don't think covid started it off. My friends and I always had parties at our houses as teenagers. Teenagers parties don't involve running around in the way small kids do. They mostly involve sitting around and yelling/talkimg and drinking alcipops. Most venues don't allow them to drink if they're under age.

It's just a very normal thing. Lots of my middle aged neighbours here have parties as well. I can't understand getting worked up about it and I also have young children and early starts at the weekend.

Wow what a misery you are! Its a teenage party lighten up! Sending a copy of the letter to the council??? Thank God you are not my neighbour.

A total misery guts. One party for one night triggers such upset. People are so weird and insular.

Some unnecessarily harsh responses to the OP here.
I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. I hate how people inflict noise on others. I have a real sensitivity to noise due to illness.
Lucky if it is just a one off though.

If it was every weekend, then I see your point. But as a one off, you are really unreasonable to expect all of your surrounding neighbours to not socialise in their own homes because it doesn’t suit you and your household.

Reasons not to have parties in halls

1. It is their home and they can entertain in their home and garden

2.Safety as parents may be there or close by

1. Cost
2. Caters for different ages eg 17 going on 18

5 Easier to cater for 6 Easier to clean up after.

I think your neighbours sound responsible.

I am hoping this is a joke.
Why would you assume that there would be drug taking?
Drink driving?

Most teenagers are picked up by their parents.

Right miseries here
House parties aren't new. We used to have some great ones at my aunts, nearly all adults, 3 times a year
Bottom of our garden will have parties every other week during summer that go on until 1am. A bit of music but mostly the noise is people talking.
We grumble but it doesn't keep us up once we're settled

They gave you notice, time to buy some ear plugs.