Mrs and Mr Smith

[Oysterbabe]

When I write client letters I always put the woman's name first in the address and write
Dear Mrs & Mr Smith. The letters have to be checked before posting and my boss always swaps the names back because 'it doesn't flow properly'
AIBU for always writing the woman's name first?

I knew it! It's such bullshit that many women keep their maiden name! 😆This may be a 7 year old survey, but the % is still roughly the same!!!

As I said, the vast majority of women - from 'GCSE educated.' unskilled workers, to the most well-educated, senior-management top professional women, change their surname when they get married - even though some on here claim 'most women' keep their maiden name... LOL, no they don't!😆

Also, 'Mrs and Mr' sounds ridiculous and stupid.

@Superfood · Yesterday 07:58

It genuinely does my nut in that a woman intelligent and driven enough to get a doctorate would change her name to her husband's.

LOL get a grip. 😆

Some women act like they are soooooooo superior if they keep their maiden name when they get married. You're not! And you're not any better than women who changed their surname to their husband's. Get over yourself!

The 'maiden name keepers' seem to get so annoyed and offended that the vast majority of women change their surname. Keep your neb out. It's none of your business. Quit trying to tell other women what to do, quit trying to make them feel bad for THEIR choices, and quit acting all smug and thinking you're superior, because you (allegedly) kept your maiden name. Most women DON'T and that is a fact, whether you like it or not. So get over it, and deal with it, and stop acting all high and mighty eh?

@IdleAnimations

A question in good faith here.

Whats the point in getting married at all? If you’re truly against the patriarchy you’d be against marriage because it was a way of moving women from the property of the father to the husband. Or am I misunderstanding here?

See, this is what makes me laugh about these 'feminists!' They do the lion's share of the housework, the childcare, the home admin, the domestic shit, and the grunt work, but won't change their surname 'because patriarchy!' 😂 You couldn't make this shit up!

I presume it's because you want to make it clear that the "Mrs" is more important than the "Mr". Why, surely they're equal, but by making it an issue makes it look like the "Mrs" IS more important.

See below
@JSmithIloveyou

The 1930s called. They want their article back.

I always put Mrs and Mr Smith. I'm happy to write Mr and Mrs Smith. But I'll be damned if I ever write Mr and Mrs John Smith. That can fuck right off.

My young grandson sometimes gets letters addressed to master. My granddaughter's don't get letters addressed to mistress. Another injustice?

I'm separated and can't think of any occasions in the last few years when we've received a joint letter. Even stuff relating to the kids comes to the parent/guardian of....

While it shouldn't always be the men first, and you should be able to swap them round, I would think that you were awkward and contrary if I noticed this on an email sent to me.

I'm Mary Smith.
DH is John Jones.
When we married we came Mary Smith-Jones and John Smith-Jones.*

We used to get passive aggressive post from an aunt who addresses us as Mr and Mrs John Jones. The aunt was at our wedding and knows it's double barrelled. Also I am not Mrs John. She doesn't use a computer and she wanted me to sign some important forms for her, so she sent them in the post to Mrs John Jones. I glanced at the name and though it was for DH so left it on the side (DH was away with work that week). I got a frantic call about a week later asking if I'd sent the forms to her. I said no, nothing had come in the post only a letter for DH. Turns out the forms were important and she missed a deadline which costed her some money... since then we get addressed properly on post from DAunt.

*Not really John Jones and Mary Smith

I think it's good to be awkward and contrary. I think that's the only way moves towards great equality can be achieved. I don't think change ever happens if no one challenges it. Even in small ways.

I’m intrigued why this aunt wanted you to sign some forms for her!

Strange point to try and tie onto a post that showed no understanding of the legal and financial implications of marriage. After all, women who cohabit with men do all those things, and they (mostly) don't change their names.

If you (and she) are using his surname then you already have

But you just did...

Oh my god. I couldn't bear it if someone thought I had hairy legs.

Absolutely. What could be worse? We're women, after all.

Your boss is correct.