ADHD in women

[Sporkle99]

I am convinced I have adhd. So is a close family member who is a GP of 35+ years and my manager who I'm fairly close with, and who used to work in a children with disabilities team (I know, adhd isn't always considered a disability by those who have it, it's more for context to show she's experienced).

Reasons I think I have it:

• I can't focus unless on boring tasks. I'm intelligent but really struggle to get anything done most days. I have to wait until I have a deadline tomorrow then I force myself to finish whatever it was.

• I am disorganised. I cannot keep my house clean. I never know where anything is. I lose my keys every day. I lose everything. I'm a jumbled mess.

• I can't listen. I zone out in meetings. It's painful. I can be talking to someone face to face but just cannot, cannot listen and take in what they are saying.

• I am so, so forgetful. I forget everything. Appointments. Responding to messages. Posting things. I forget everything. I tell myself to write it down when I get home, then forget to even do that.

• I'm shit with money, and ashamed of the fact.

• Im basically a useless mess whose mind is running on a motor but not in the way I want it to.

These are just a few things but I don't know what to do. I cannot afford a private assessment. I don't know if I can deal with the wait for an assessment. I need steering in the right direction, and help in doing so.

Can anyone advise or relate?

And amphetamines don’t automatically ‘work’ for those with a diagnosis. It will make some people feel jittery, paranoid etc. They have the desired effect in much of the population, hence street value, but not in all. Regardless of a diagnosis.

They’ve expanded the symptoms so much that it could basically fit anyone

What now?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/

“Overall, the revisions to ADHD in DSM-5 are less dramatic than updates to earlier DSMs. Importantly, the DSM-5 ADHD and Disruptive Behavior Disorders Workgroup decided neither to modify the core ADHD symptom domains (i.e., Inattention and Hyperactivity/Impulsivity) nor to revise the 18 core symptoms, aside from adding example behaviors to better define some of the symptoms for older adolescents and adults. The retention of the ADHD symptom domains and 18 core symptoms likely reflects a judgment that the DSM-IV definition of ADHD has largely withstood the test of time. DSM-IV ADHD criteria have proven to be quite effective at reliably identifying a population of individuals who have significant impairments across a wide range of outcomes (e.g., academic, interpersonal, occupational, personal, substance use, driving, etc. 7, 8]). Moreover, individuals identified by DSM-IV ADHD criteria appear to have distinct neuropsychological profiles 9, 10] identifiable neurobiological signatures (e.g., abnormalities in frontal-striatal circuitry 11, 12]) and unique genetic correlates 13]. By retaining a similar ADHD phenotype as defined in DSM-IV, the DSM-5 workgroup ensured that the voluminous body of DSM-IV defined ADHD research accumulated over the past 2 decades will largely generalize to the new, yet highly similar, DSM-5ADHD phenotype.
“Although more subtle than changes in prior DSMs, the changes to ADHD in DSM-5 are important and reflect our increased knowledge about the nature of ADHD. In particular, it has become increasingly evident that the DSM-IVsymptom domain thresholds (i.e., 6 of 9 symptoms per symptom domain), while appropriate for young children, are not effective for identifying adolescents and adults experiencing ADHD-related impairment. Prior to DSM-5, some researchers used lower symptom thresholds to define adolescent and/or adult ADHD samples (e.g., 14]), in discord with DSM-IV; many clinicians did likewise or relied on the poorly-defined ADHD Not Otherwise Specified. Research suggests that a lower symptom number threshold more accurately identifies those 17 and older who experience impairments warranting intervention 15].”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3955126/

Can you provide reliable scientific evidence for all of the claims you are making. I'd be interested to read, please and I've only been able to find the opposite.

The DSM manual is what should be used to diagnose. Yet there are so many other ‘symptoms’ that seem to have become gospel, yet aren’t in the DSM. Yet they are being used to diagnose people. Lots of adults wouldn’t fit that criteria because, lo and behold, they can in fact concentrate when it’s something they are interested in. Enter ‘hyperfocus’.

This job, and being in the NHS during Covid. And motherhood. And perimenopause.

But the signs were there in my teens and before. It just took till now to see them because I could mask/get away with most things till now. (And in the 90s we didn’t know that girls could have ADHD because of the presentation.)

I genuinely thought everyone had 300 different things going on in their head. I’d say 80% of colleagues have commented that they’ve never worked with someone like me before. I always said “you should meet my dad”. I thought it was normal. Every single person I’ve shared my diagnosis with, including medics and a clin psych I worked with have been surprised I wasn’t diagnosed as a child. Literally everyone else saw it but me. A teacher spotted the issues in DD when she transferred to high school - she’s always been a carbon copy of me. The paed that did her assessment asked at the end if I had a diagnosis. And if I didn’t, I should really think about getting an assessment.

I don’t want to swap my brain for anything, but if I could just close 200 of those 300 open tabs, and find out where the music is coming from I think life could be a lot more manageable for me. If the drugs don’t benefit me, then I won’t take them. But they’re worth a try. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is lots of research going back decades on how amphetamine medications affect people. There are very few studies on ADHD meds and hardly any that look at long term, meaning over 12 weeks, treatment. I don’t think there are any large studies comparing the effect of the drugs in those with or without a diagnosis because why would they need to fund that? We know the affect of amphetamines have on most of the population. Some people don’t feel great on them regardless of adhd diagnosis or not. Your response to the medication does not confirm a diagnosis and I don’t know where that line of thought has come from, although I have a pretty good suspicion.

Thank you for sharing and make me feel normal!!

That was absolutely what was used to diagnose me.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide
I've been prescribed Ritalin, and this is what I'm hoping for.

People are saying it's not going to work miracles, but if I can get a bit of mental peace then that's what a miracle looks like to me.

I want to focus on one thing at a time, meaning I can experience mental quiet (could you imagine)! And concentrate

I want to not be in a constant state of fight or flight which causes me to have crazy dreams all night, waking up lots of times.

Imagine reading a book and being able to focus on it and not thinking about what needs doing next, plus numerous other thoughts.

This is all I ask from medication, so I have to try. and if it doesn't deliver these I will stop.

My son is on medikinet, as his mum I can see that it certainly helps him as without it he is completely disregulated emotionally, struggles to communicate and is destructive. I want to experience the inner peace it seems to bring him.

This thread reveals a lot of the issues with ADHD in women.

It's been widely missed, because women are largely inattentive rather than hyperactive.

It's then widely dismissed as a "trend", because there's been such an increase in diagnosis and also because it's WOMEN who've been missed, and we broadly dismiss women's experiences as something they just need to get on with.

Sadly, as seen here on this thread, instead of supporting women who are seeking or have a diagnosis, other women even criticise and gaslight them.

Who really wants to be labelled as neurodivergent when they're not? Who wants to be prescribed a medication with possible horrible side effects if they don't need it? Who bothers to join a years long waiting list to get a diagnosis and fill in loads of forms and have a lengthy assessment? Or pay hundreds of pounds to fast track this process? I don't look at people with other conditions and think oh that looks fun, I want some of that??

No it's really not.

I see it, live with it every day and there are lots of people pursuing this diagnosis that don't have it and others being misdiagnosed. It's disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

Do you really think people are paying upwards of £1k just to get a disability, do me a favour!

It's an utterly shit thing to have in my experience, I'd sell my house to be normal not pay £1k to be part of the club.

Can you tell me one good reason you think people (aka women, no one questions the men) want to be diagnosed and medicated for ADHD?

I'm not for one moment saying it's everyone going privately or am I commenting on your personal situation.

I've explained why if you read back. It's what I've also been told by numerous professionals involved with DC and other posters have agreed as their experience has been the same.

It is an utterly shit thing. I had to give up my career to care for DC who are severely impacted. That's why I get so frustrated by the infux of those claiming to have when they patently don't.

I was diagnosed in my mid-50’s after working in C&F team. I am now not working due to health issues (59 now)When I first considered I might have adhd, I showed my daughter a list of characteristics of adhd women and she said, ‘mum, that’s you!’ and I cried. The diagnosis coincided with a disastrous move to a different field of SW and my GP was brilliant and responded with a speedy referral and which then lead to a diagnosis of adhd fromthe Maudsley. I had huge identity issues with such a late diagnosis and regret at what perhaps might have been. I now embrace my eccentricity, my arty bent and have made peace with myself.

This is an ‘ADHD in adults’ rather than ‘women’ thing really - I’m a male and have also been diagnosed later in life with pretty much the same symptoms as you.

Unfortunately I had to pay privately as our local waiting time for referral was 2 years!

I’d consider 2 fast. Been warned it could be 10 here.

I think it’s often labelled as an ADHD in women kind of thing because far more females than males get missed for a diagnosis in childhood.

I believe that’s because women are more likely to have the inattentive or combined type, but I’m only repeating what I’ve been told, I don’t have stats on that.

So definitely all of this can apply to men too but it’s just less likely as even aside from the different types, young boys and girls tend to present differently and it’s just harder to spot in girls. Same applies for autism.

It’s just as rough for undiagnosed men. In some ways it’s even harder as there are lots of conversations now about undiagnosed women but far fewer about undiagnosed men!! I’m glad you got your diagnosis. I hope it’s helped you 😊

I'm sure I posted a stat earlier in this thread. It was something like 45% increased/chance of stroke/heart attack.

It wouldn't surprise me tbh as ritalin is very similar in chemical structure to cocaine which is ruinous on the heart.

Well I'm another one added to the statistics got diagnosed today aged 40! Daughter was diagnosed with autism at 2 and I realised that how I think and behave isn't what everyone does and found out about inattentive adhd. And finally after 4 and half years I'm finally diagnosed why NHS, didn't go down right to choose path just regular

Hi there. I was hoping to have my son diagnosed via ‘right to choose’ Psychiatry uk but obviously they are not taking on any more patients at present. We are prepared to pay for a private diagnosis but we were under the impression that unless the private specialist was NICE approved then the GP wouldn’t get involved and we would also have to pay for any medication prescribed. Could you tell me how you went about it?

Thank you in advance 😊

I agree. Its a minefield and i feel for anyone suffering wondering whats wrong with them and finding things difficult.
I chose not to take medication after my (late) diagnosis but i do take suppliments and have increased my protein intake. I also utilise the skills they give you about managing/compartmentalise things and its helped.
I found after my diagnosis i was kinder to myself and that calmed my self loathing and anxiety but didnt get rid of it.
The waiting lists are horrendous but the diagnosis is helful. My advice would be if you think you have it (genuinely) then utilise the advice and guidance on who to manage and treat yourself as if you had it. If you notice improvements great. Better to focus on this than the (understadable) anxiety of fighting for a diagnosis.

Yeah, you know by adulthood that you dont act or respond as you would like. Reflecting back its actually heartbreaking how much of my life was wasted as it was such a struggle and i did not know why it came so easy to others.

@Redlarge

Same. I really went through a period of mourning for my younger self. Myself as a child who was labelled a problem child and practically ignored. And the wild teen/young adult who made some seriously questionable decisions due to bringing myself up.

My mother has apologised for not knowing what she knows now, but I have lost all respect for her.

My mum is a special needs education expert who didn’t spot my ADHD, or my sister’s autism.

I don’t blame her. The effects of these conditions on girls wasn’t known in the 90s. We had a horrendous relationship when I was a teen, that isn’t perfect now but she couldn’t have known what we now know.