ADHD in women

[Sporkle99]

I am convinced I have adhd. So is a close family member who is a GP of 35+ years and my manager who I'm fairly close with, and who used to work in a children with disabilities team (I know, adhd isn't always considered a disability by those who have it, it's more for context to show she's experienced).

Reasons I think I have it:

• I can't focus unless on boring tasks. I'm intelligent but really struggle to get anything done most days. I have to wait until I have a deadline tomorrow then I force myself to finish whatever it was.

• I am disorganised. I cannot keep my house clean. I never know where anything is. I lose my keys every day. I lose everything. I'm a jumbled mess.

• I can't listen. I zone out in meetings. It's painful. I can be talking to someone face to face but just cannot, cannot listen and take in what they are saying.

• I am so, so forgetful. I forget everything. Appointments. Responding to messages. Posting things. I forget everything. I tell myself to write it down when I get home, then forget to even do that.

• I'm shit with money, and ashamed of the fact.

• Im basically a useless mess whose mind is running on a motor but not in the way I want it to.

These are just a few things but I don't know what to do. I cannot afford a private assessment. I don't know if I can deal with the wait for an assessment. I need steering in the right direction, and help in doing so.

Can anyone advise or relate?

Some studies have found a 40% increase in stroke/heart attack risk in first month of middle aged adults taking stimulant meds like Ritalin, Adderall, etc.

No shit, Sherlock.

However, ADHD isn't just a euphemism for not having your shit together.

No, it's not. But ADHD does commonly include all of the things that the OP has mentioned - and there are lots of us on this thread who are also diagnosed with ADHD who struggle with these same things.

You don't have these difficulties. Great. But lots of us do, and they are widely acknowledged as being a typical presentation of ADHD.

Dismissing it as depression just because your ADHD presents differently isn't that helpful.

I'm also surprised that you're diagnosed as having ADHD without struggling with disorganisation, forgetfulness and having a mind "running on a motor". They're pretty much the cornerstones of ADHD diagnosis, regardless of the type.

Saying that cleaning a house "isn't rocket science" is pretty rude actually to those of us who really struggle to start or finish tasks. Again, these are a common difficulty with ADHD.

Yes. I’ve had an ECG to check all is okay before considering meds.

They’re still stimulants, they just work cumulatively rather than individually. The efficacy is the same.

She is rude. If its 'no shit sherlock' then why did you post what you did. You are now implying that you actually knew there are different types now... and obviously, that comes with an understanding of the most textbook behaviours.
Im not sure it comes with a lack of empathy though 😕

Yes! A podcast helps me to clean
If i know its 30 mins long i will clean for 30 mins and if its not all done its not but at least i did 30 mins rather than freezing

The doctors send you out a heart monitor and you can log onto the the portal which is checked by nurses to input your readings.

I’m sorry but it seems we are at the point where every disorganised messy person seems to think they need a diagnosis of a disability. I have all the same things (I have a key place yet I literally loose my keys every time I put them down) and I don’t think I have adhd. I’m just a very disorganised messy person. I think trauma, and dealing with many aspects of modern life (Internet use/stress/diet can all present in ways that are being misdiagnosed as adhd. Also a lot of people are this way, it’s not abnormal. I’ve no doubt it’s being driven by pharma in the same way the ‘psychic stress’ was made up to prescribe people drugs. It will be the next big scandal. A whole generation hooked on amphetamines. In some areas of the US as many as 20% of children have adhd diagnosis. There is absolutely no way that is accurate and it’s being driven by for profit health care. I realise this will be an incredibly unpopular opinion on here.

Am certain I have ADHD and Autism although I mask extremely well. But certain things in life I just can't do.

Oh my god, this is so me and I feel like I KNOW I have it. It didn't bother me for years but now I have a business and it's affecting me a lot. I feel like I want to do something about it but also am embarrassed to be "jumping on the bandwagon" so to speak so don't think I ever will, but I wonder if I be be cured and be a much better version of myself. Sorry to jump in there with no advice just solidarity

@Inmybirthdaysuit Or it could be that in the 90s it wasn't really recognised that women have ADHD as they present differently (social conditioning) so they learned to mask and run on cortisol to get stuff done. Then in late 30s with perimenopause, plus often with small children/lack of sleep, that no longer is sustainable so they reach burnout point and overwhelm where they need a new set of strategies and support.

It's not just about losing keys 😌

Absolute ableist bullshit

Do you have references for these?

For anyone wanting to improve focus for ADHD or otherwise, this podcast has lots of information
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Ahg0IWnyDPpKwIrrogOis?si=71YKNLuIT_6goUDUsCNNhw

I can relate.

Im convinced I have it, although no diagnosis. My son (9) has just been diagnosed.

Ive always been messy and can’t keep my house in a decent state

I can’t concentrate on tasks I don’t find interesting- but if im interested I am really quite clever

I struggle with tasks that have a lot of intricate steps, or that seem like unravelling a knotted wire

I’m terrible with money

If anyone is interested in how much ADHD drugs cost per 28 day supply. This was back in 2018 and prices have risen sharply.

As much as people would like to believe that stimulants prescribed to a neurotypical person would somehow make them into Speedy Gonzales and so therefore proves that you have ADHD, that's not the case.

There are plenty of people who are started on ADHD meds who turn out to have significant trauma or bipolar which clouds the picture of their difficulties.
Why do some people (a minority) want an ADHD diagnosis? Because then they don't have to go through therapy or change their unhealthy habits. I very rarely read on these threads the proactive steps that people have taken prior to ringing their GP. Good sleep hygiene, exercise, diet, reducing phone and tv time, mindfulness, slowing things down and breaking up tasks into smaller ones, no they won't 'cure' ADHD but they could be beneficial and would also be more evidence to provide to an assessment that you've done everything you can to improve things.

3 years ago I lost 5 stone in weight by cutting out all processed foods, all starchy foods and focusing on good quality protein and fresh fruit/veg. I cut out alcohol, caffeine and fizzy drinks. I barely eat any dairy anymore.

Tried mindfulness but my brain is too noisy. I took up weight lifting which does the trick.

I started prioritising sleep. Ditched television for books. Signed up for the degree to force me to read.

Had counselling (still do), coaching, mentoring. Bubble baths whenever I can.

I still do all of these things. But my senior, national role takes a level of organisation I don’t possess. I still need help. Even my psych admits the only thing left to try is medication.

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide well maybe it's the job then. I'm intelligent but I have no doubt that I would be terrible at 70% of jobs out there. I'm impulsive, I don't write stuff down, I forget to communicate, I can't delegate due to hyper focus, I procrastinate. Doing a boring task makes me feel like someone is pulling my toenails out with pliers. That's not ADHD, that's just different levels of tolerance and personality type.

I don’t have any ADHD but had all the symptoms. NHS told me I was normal but I was diagnosed with severe Hashimotos in another country. Now I feel so good. I do think the NHS ignores so many health conditions (I personally do not think GPs are fit for purpose here as ‘gatekeepers’) and especially women’s health conditions that unless you do a full physical work up first to rule everything else out you cannot know for sure.

I have read that you are only really considered for an ADHD diagnosis if symptoms also presented in childhood, which I can say was true for me. Therapy, yep. Meditation, yep. Mindfulness, yep. Sleep hygiene, yep, and so on.

I don’t think looking for a diagnosis is just lazy if you’ve struggled your whole life and have taken lots of steps to try and regulate your life and yet still fail at many things things or find life very difficulty. I’m not articulating this particularly well but I feel aggrieved at posters coming on here saying it might be trauma or bipolar or even laziness. Speak for yourself but don’t speak for me.

@ReginaRegina It's extremely common for people with ADHD to struggle to keep their home clean and tidy. You may not think it's "rocket science" but keeping on top of household chores requires a lot of executive functioning skills which are obviously deficient in people with ADHD.

I have developed a lot of strategies but the things I struggle with in terms of household chores are maintaining a routine, initiating actions, procrastination, organisation (ie what to do when), prioritisation, distraction (starting multiple jobs without finishing the first) and so on and so on. I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

People with ADHD usually feel (and have had a lifetime if being told) that they are stupid or lazy. As you have ADHD, please don't perpetuate that damaging message to your fellow ADHDers with comments like "housework isn't rocket science". Maybe not to you but it's something lots of ADHDers really struggle with.

I tell what is the big scandal - a whole generation of women whose diagnosis of ADHD was missed.

No need to speculate about "big pharma" conspiracies when there's an actual scandal that's already real.

We have to deal with these kinds of really offensive comments all the time about ADHD not being real.

You do realise that ADHD changes how the brain reacts to medication, right? If you take ADHD meds and you don't have ADHD, you'll have a very different effect!!

I am aware that it's now very on-trend to have ADHD and tbh, that hasn't helped our cause at all. It's fuelled the claims that ADHD is a made-up condition with people who are just attention-seekers - which is something we've had to put up with for years and years.

In the UK, it's not easy to get an ADHD diagnosis despite what you might have been led to believe. It's not sufficient just to be a bit disorganised or scatty, or to forget where you put your keys. The symptoms need to disrupt your life to a meaningful degree, preventing functioning. They must have also been present since childhood and they must be of sufficient intensity.

Some of the symptoms may be experienced by the population at large but not with the same consistency, intensity, severity, etc. It's present in every waking moment, every day, year after year after year after year. There's just no escape from the constant barrage going on inside your head.

Give someone with ADHD amphetamines and give someone who's neurotypical amphetamines. You will see two very different responses. If nothing else can convince you that this condition is very real, then this objective evidence should.

Give someone with ADHD amphetamines and give someone who's neurotypical amphetamines. You will see two very different responses. If nothing else can convince you that this condition is very real, then this objective evidence should.

This is trotted out again and again but there is no evidence for it. Low doses of amphetamines generally have similar effects on most people. I’m not saying adhd doesn’t exist but it’s really hard to deny that it’s being hugely over diagnosed. My MIL has a large circle of 50 something female friends and staggering number are suddenly deciding that they have adhd and getting private diagnosis. There is just no way it’s that prevalent in the population. It’s become a bit of a catch all. They’ve expanded the symptoms so much that it could basically fit anyone, and pharmaceutical companies will be behind that, not solid good peer reviewed research. See other big pharmaceutical scandals. Many adult ones rely on self reporting and most if not all is done online. I have a friend who proof reads reports for a private company and most have been copy and pasted and don’t even contain the correct name of the patient. This is one of the first areas that’s been outsourced to low quality private health care and we can see a glimpse of what it’s like in the US where many things are massively over diagnosed, not based on decent science, and run for profit. See also chronic Lyme disease.