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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that my boyfriend left my bathroom like this

170 replies

Mummaof1boyx · 03/09/2023 22:59

After a face shave and chest shave

To be upset that my boyfriend left my bathroom like this
To be upset that my boyfriend left my bathroom like this
OP posts:
HowAmYa · 04/09/2023 07:32

Is he a teen? His reaction sounds like that of an inept teenager.
Gross. Get a grown up partner not a disgusting moron who can't even clean their own mess!

Sayitaintso33 · 04/09/2023 07:34

How did you ask/ tell him to clean up?

If you bollocked him and put him in detention like he was in primary school I'm not surprised he is in a huff.

Blackscrackleanddrag · 04/09/2023 07:34

It’s his sulky reaction that’s the biggest concern. That bodes ill. He should have just been slightly shame faced, apologized and cleaned it up.

Not attacked you, as if the fault is really in you and not him. That’s a pattern that will repeat, you know.

Kucinghitam · 04/09/2023 07:56

Naunet · 04/09/2023 07:26

Because grown adult men need a woman to tell them to clean up the mess they made and couldn’t possibly be expected to know off their own backs?

This! Until I looked at this thread, I didn't even realise that shaving "leftovers" were a thing 🤢.

Somehow this phenomenon entirely passed me by despite growing up in a household with dark-haired dad and brother, and being married for a couple of decades to a dark-haired DH. I certainly don't remember my mum having to tell my dad or brother to de-scum the sink, and I've never told DH.

Hibiscrubbed · 04/09/2023 08:03

Mummaof1boyx · 03/09/2023 23:02

He has implied I am over reacting and has shut the bathroom door and is begrudgingly cleaning it

He is a disgusting twat. He expected you to clean that. Because woman.

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:20

Naunet · 04/09/2023 07:32

Wow, what a hero you’ve raised, and then prepping women to expect to take over from you in being his doormat.🙄

Yes because you know everything about my son from one comment about a sink. The raised eyebrows is you love. Time for an internet break, some of the women who post here really need to get a life and stop making judgments and assumptions on people they have absolutely no clue about

Cardboardcup · 04/09/2023 08:23

HeadacheEarthquake · 03/09/2023 23:05

Could you shave your bikini line and leave his sink in a similar state?

His sink? Do people have two sinks? 😂

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 08:24

"Just keep communicating with your bf and letting him know your boundaries."

Bloody hell-the bar is low for men! You would have thought "Don't expect women to clean the bathroom after you" is not something that needs to be communicated to anyone after the age of about 14.

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 08:37

@Zanatdy I'm sorry you're upset. But people can only comment on what you post. And you posted that you had to clean the bathroom after your 19 year old. That he made an attempt, but you needed to finish the job for him. I'm guessing from your response that there is more to the story-maybe that he has additional needs. But we can only comment on what you actually say. We're not psychic!

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:47

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 08:37

@Zanatdy I'm sorry you're upset. But people can only comment on what you post. And you posted that you had to clean the bathroom after your 19 year old. That he made an attempt, but you needed to finish the job for him. I'm guessing from your response that there is more to the story-maybe that he has additional needs. But we can only comment on what you actually say. We're not psychic!

I’m not upset, I just cannot be bothered with people who nip pick peoples comments and build up a whole narrative about someone from one sentence. It’s the one thing that drives me mad about this forum as every post someone builds up some kind of impression about someone that’s usually totally wrong and then a load of people jump on it and take it as fact. If I have to put a cup of water over a few hairs that my son left before when he shaved before he went to work so what? He’s now a future terrible husband who will drive his wife to distraction, and she will be posting about it here in 10yrs time.

Naunet · 04/09/2023 08:47

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:20

Yes because you know everything about my son from one comment about a sink. The raised eyebrows is you love. Time for an internet break, some of the women who post here really need to get a life and stop making judgments and assumptions on people they have absolutely no clue about

So if he goes round his girlfriends and leaves her sink in that mess, you’ll tell her to stop making a fuss and just clean it up like you do, like you’ve told OP? Why can’t your son clean up his own mess?

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:49

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 08:37

@Zanatdy I'm sorry you're upset. But people can only comment on what you post. And you posted that you had to clean the bathroom after your 19 year old. That he made an attempt, but you needed to finish the job for him. I'm guessing from your response that there is more to the story-maybe that he has additional needs. But we can only comment on what you actually say. We're not psychic!

additional needs? My God, not only is he a future terrible messy husband he’s now got additional needs! If only you knew the truth you’d realise what an idiotic comment this is. Dear God I needed that laugh right now, funniest thing on the internet today.

CherryMaDeara · 04/09/2023 08:50

Cardboardcup · 04/09/2023 08:23

His sink? Do people have two sinks? 😂

Think she means the sink at HIS house.

CherryMaDeara · 04/09/2023 08:50

Naunet · 04/09/2023 07:32

Wow, what a hero you’ve raised, and then prepping women to expect to take over from you in being his doormat.🙄

So true.

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:50

you guys, all go and log off and do something with your day rather than talking absolute crap on the internet. Have a nice day

Skyrim41 · 04/09/2023 08:52

Tell him to leave and not come back. Why do men keep getting a pass for being awful people

Skyrim41 · 04/09/2023 08:55

And yes people have two sinks. Between me and my partner we have three. My in-laws have four or five.

HotWaxToTheMax · 04/09/2023 08:59

I dumped a FWB for similar issues (more to it but that behaviour irks)
Fucking rude & disrespectful 😤

CherryMaDeara · 04/09/2023 08:59

Zanatdy · 04/09/2023 08:50

you guys, all go and log off and do something with your day rather than talking absolute crap on the internet. Have a nice day

Whilst you go off and clean your son’s pubes from the shower because he’s too lazy to do it himself. What a lovely day.

Smartstuffed · 04/09/2023 09:26

So, for whatever reason, he didn't clean up after himself. Maybe he just plain forgot or maybe he's an entitled arse, or somewhere in between. His reaction when it was pointed out wasn't especially mature but then most us of aren't perfect all the time. The key thing for me, though, would be whether he took the message on board and he made the effort/remembered to clean up after himself 97% of the time going forward. (3% allowance given as otherwise you have to be be 'perfection personified' yourself at all times.)

CurlewKate · 04/09/2023 09:28

@Smartstuffed "The key thing for me, though, would be whether he took the message on board and he made the effort/remembered to clean up after himself 97% of the time going forward. "

He's an adult man who has presumably been shaving for some time and has eyes!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/09/2023 09:32

Hi OP. I think your post shows the beauty of being able to use photographic evidence. It can't be argued that it was nothing. (I've had this issue with teens) If polite requests are ignored its the way to go. That said, you shouldn't have to resort on car insurance claim level of evidence, to prove to someone that its not fuss about nothing.

There's two things really. Perhaps he's always had a mum cleaning up after him and just doesn't realise because the mess magically vanishes. That's just a question of re-educating him in the idea that you are not, in fact, a House Elf!

Secondly if he'd seen it, said fair enough and cleaned it up, that would be one thing, but his reaction is awful. It doesn't imply he has now seen the light and won't just do it again. Back to the House Elf notion. I've come across this attitude in the past and the offender always thinks its unreasonable telling off. That is a teenage approach and he needs to grow up. Its not a telling off, its a request to do things differently and that is something that would cover more than just cleaning the sink.

You know best how to approach this with him, especially as he has compounded the initial fault with a very resentful grudging attitude a very unattractive trait in a partner (and a potential life partner further down the line?) For me it would be a case of shape up or ship out I'm afraid.. He hasn't passed the first audition. Stand firm OP!

whatthebejesus · 04/09/2023 09:36

Urm yea sorry that's disrespectful. My husband doesn't do this!!

jannier · 04/09/2023 09:40

Mummaof1boyx · 03/09/2023 23:04

No, I’d half cleaned it up!

Why? I'd just hand him the cleaner and say that's disgusting

CassiniG · 04/09/2023 09:41

He's a messy slob.