to think dp can cook dinner at 8:30pm vs a ready meal?

[Henrietta89]

i work until 10:30pm and he finishes at 8pm. I have asked if he can make something for us for when I get home and he says he is happy to have dinner on the table for when I get in but it will be a ready meal with extras basically, he has done a tomato pasta ready meal with say added chicken or sausages/cheese and garlic bread or a sausages and mash one with added vegetables and extra gravy, stuff like that. I just don't see why he can't make the mash or cook pasta and make a sauce up etc, it doesnt take very long and really changes the meal, he says he just doesnt want to be doing that + the clear up at that time. I do think it's a bit lazy and means we only get actual cooked food at the weekend when I do it, he isn't assed for it and says he doesnt expect me to do it either and would be happy with these ready meals + extras every day of the week... I really find it silly. AIBU? To think surely some days a normal home cooked meal isn't too much to ask for?

He cooks something. If it isn't good enough for OP, she can make her own alternative.

I'd say the same if OP was the man in the situation. It isn't like her DH expects meals from scratch but refuses to do it himself, it's late and it isn't a priority to him like it is OP.

Because expecting someone to piss about cooking a meal from scratch, eating at 10.30, then having to clear away all the pots and pans is fucking unreasonable.

not getting to bed til after midnight because a ready or quick and easy meal isn’t “good enough”?

fuck that. I’d be in bed when she got home and if she wants a meal cooked from scratch she can do it herself. I’d like to see her peeling potatoes at 10.30 rather than nuking something quickly.

I wouldn't start cooking a meal from scratch at that time but I also never eat processed ready meals. So I use a mixture of slow cooker, batch cooking and lighter homemade meals like beans on toast, soup and bread etc.

Eat a proper cooked meal in the morning instead

🤣🤣🤣

So you expect him to cook from scratch 5 days a week while you do 2?8pm is also not a good time to be cooking. Perhaps both look at batch cooking or slow cooker meals.

Gousto is your solution. Particularly the ten min ones.

I wouldn't eat with you at that time, no chance. But I would fairy regularly cook a meal from scratch that you could heat up when you came in. But I would have eaten my portion earlier. I think you're being a bit unreasonable.

Yabu and ungrateful. He's had a hard day too. You can cook if it means that much to you.

If a man came on here posting this about his wife he'd get flamed!

Yabu sorry.
Not for wanting to cut down on processed food but for thinking wanting fresh cooked meals at 10pm at night is totally fine for you to walk in from work to from a partner who has also worked a late shift.

They deserve to rest also, not have to work on your preferred menu once they finish work. I'm assuming wanting to rest is why you don't cook your meals before you go to work. Otherwise you'd come home to one every night wouldn't you.

Sort yourself out a meal plan, spend the time you normally do your preferred meals at the weekend prepping together. So many insta, you tube and tiktok accounts cover freezer meals and meal prep now. There's an easy compromise here if you cared to look for it.

funny there was a thread on here not too long ago with the dh moaning that the op didnt cook everything from scratch and mos people said tell him to do one

You’re ungrateful. I wouldn’t expect anyone to cook that late or wait for me. You’re lucky he eats with you and he makes you food. You could just make your own and then there wouldn’t be a problem?

I finish work at 8pm and cooking is the last thing I want to do! Just cause you finish at ten doesn't mean he's less tired than you.

oh sweet lord I finish work between 4 and 6 and even then I detest turnng around and having to cook a dinner. its one part of adulting I hate. but when I do have to work late and not home till 8pm it's fish fingers and waffles or scrambled egg or sometimes nothing. as it's way too late. if you both work late what's stopping you working together and meal prepping so you both have something quick and easy to do when home? if either one of us know we will be late next day we will cook extra of what we cooking that night so have it next day or get a takeaway

Look into slow cooker meals (spag bol works great and is very quick to prep) and stuff like pre-cut stir fry mixes + straight to wok noodles that you can do yourself when you're home or that your partner might not mind sorting out.

When DH cooks, I'm so pleased not to have to do it that I don't mind it's usually frozen pizza etc.

Please use the quote feature, it makes it hard to read

YABU, anything more effort than beans on toast at that time of night can do-one for me.

Can’t you batch cook together at the weekend so you can both eat healthily throughout the week? 8:30 is very late to be home from work and I’d not want to be cooking at that time either.

Do you get a tea break at work at something more like a meal time? I used to work late shifts (2pm - 10pm) but I always took my meal in a box to work. I never ate at 10 x

Do some batch cooking at the weekend or you can make yourself something quick and homemade at 1030pm.

Sod that. I wouldn’t come home at 8.30pm and start peeling potatoes and serve dinner at what 11pm?? No way! I’d be grateful for the ready meal.

Have you thought about meal planning and shopping around meals that are fresh and still quick and tasty? My partner and I eat late, but a burger with cheese, lettuce and some fries on the side can be done in the time it takes to cook chips. Soup is another great and quick meal, can either make another time or buy fresh soup that just needs heating up. Also packet couscous with some mince, green beans and peppers all cooked and tossed together is quick and delightful.

If the problem is he is not big on lots of cooking late at night and you woukd rather eat fresh food, then a compromise needs tk be made. If you value eating together and appreciate that time, I'm sure you can both work it out!

Batch cook at the weekend and freeze. All the salt and sugar in daily ready meals will not be good longer term.

Suppose it depends on what time you go to bed on whether there's time to digest or not

I think you’re both being unreasonable. As you both finish late I’m assuming you start late so surely it round make more sense to prepare it during the day. There’s no way I’d start cooking a full meal at 8.30pm.