Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/09/2023 08:18

I do not feel in the least bit sorry for men.

skippy67 · 03/09/2023 08:19

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/09/2023 08:18

I do not feel in the least bit sorry for men.

Nice.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2023 08:21

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/09/2023 08:18

I do not feel in the least bit sorry for men.

Why not?

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/09/2023 08:21

What about it ? I mean it’s possible for humans to regret not having kids and this human regrets it. That’s all. Not much else to say about it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 08:22

Interesting closing:

there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone

Too busy not wanting children until they can't get a younger woman interested - and then it's regret they don't have anybody to take care of their needs.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/09/2023 08:22

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/09/2023 08:18

I do not feel in the least bit sorry for men.

or any human, right ? I mean why have empathy and all that bollocks.

sleighbells00 · 03/09/2023 08:23

Newnamehiwhodis · 03/09/2023 08:18

I do not feel in the least bit sorry for men.

Can you expand on why you feel this way?

andrainwillmaketheflowersgrow · 03/09/2023 08:24

I guess it's that anyone who wants children can't have them. I don't think there's much else to feel about it really

aurynne · 03/09/2023 08:24

I think Hollywood movies have played a very important role in giving men false expectations, like the one that every young, attractive woman is attracted to older guys, or that guys can find awoman to have children with as late as they wish.

I klnow a lot of guys like this one, unfortunately, who felt cheated that young, intelligent, sexy, fertile women were choosing young, attractive, sexy guys to procreate with instead of old buggers who would need nursing care when their children were pre-teens.

FloweryName · 03/09/2023 08:25

I think the same as I would after reading an article about a woman who couldn’t have the family she wanted. It’s just sad for them.

Its nice that it is being recognised that these things are a struggle for men too.

BCBird · 03/09/2023 08:25

I read it and felt sorry for him. As women we are told there is a time limit to conceiving. Men know they have longer. I think most people presume it will happen. I am childless simply because i didn't meet anyone during my fertile years. I don't have regret because it wasn't an option. As for not having sympathy for 50 percent of the population, that I don't agree with. Each to their own.

StoatofDisarray · 03/09/2023 08:25

The article doesn't seem to explain why he's in the position he's in, so no comment! If he was infertile I would get it but that doesn't seem to be the case.

JorisBonson · 03/09/2023 08:25

It's sad when anyone is childless not by choice, regardless of gender.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/09/2023 08:26

No sympathy- a man who knows he has all the time in the world left it as late as possible hoping a woman would be available and able at 40 or that he could pull someone younger. Tough.

Harryyourenogoodalone · 03/09/2023 08:26

I felt sad for him.

fourelementary · 03/09/2023 08:26

Yabu to not give a view yourself…

I think it’s an interesting read and worth people talking about. We can’t complain that men are emotionally immature and then slag them off when they begin to open up about issues that upset them surely?

Men probably do find it trickier to have meaningful interactions with children without seeming like dirty perverts… women can get away with smiling and cooing at babies or speaking to toddlers… but not so, men.

My husband and I met when he was in his 40s and he is such an amazing dad that I can’t imagine him not having that opportunity… but he nearly didn’t as he wasn’t planning on marrying as he assumed he’d missed the boat love-wise.

So yes I think regret and sadness are very valid feelings for childless men.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2023 08:26

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 08:22

Interesting closing:

there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone

Too busy not wanting children until they can't get a younger woman interested - and then it's regret they don't have anybody to take care of their needs.

Edited

That might not be the story for all those men.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2023 08:28

FloweryName · 03/09/2023 08:25

I think the same as I would after reading an article about a woman who couldn’t have the family she wanted. It’s just sad for them.

Its nice that it is being recognised that these things are a struggle for men too.

Exactly. It's a human sadness, but some posters see an opportunity to sneer at men and put the boot in.

CurlewKate · 03/09/2023 08:28

I feel sorry for anyone whose life doesn't turn out the way they want it to. However, I find it hard to sympathise with anyone of either sex who regrets not having children because it means they will regret ending up "old and alone." Maybe they would have been better nurturing their relationships when they were young.

NutellaEllaElla · 03/09/2023 08:28

I mean it's hard to have sympathy where there is a known issue of men abandoning their children, having limited involvement with their children, older men wanting to date younger women and being surprised that (unless they're wealthy!) they're not the catch they think. (NAMALT I know).
It's like it's a bed of their own making? It IS for a want of trying on their part. So, it's a shame they realise too late? I dunno, it seems like this guy only wants someone to look after him.

doroda · 03/09/2023 08:29

I'd feel sorry for a man who was childless due to infertility or loss.

But that's not what the article is really about...it's about men who have no interest in commitment until it's too late. Boo hoo.

cruffinsmuffin · 03/09/2023 08:29

I feel really sorry for people in that position, I work with people in a similar situations, one who's mid forties - several long term relationships that didn't work out mean that by the time lockdown approached he was already (in his words!) an old bugger for starting all of that again, post lockdown when people could socialise again he felt totally out of the game and "past it" age wise. Another chap is late 30s and lovely but quite quiet and doesn't really go out of his way to meet people IRL and finds online quite daunting. Again pre lockdown he was only mid thirties so thought he had loads of time! They both said they just thought they had longer, which seems to be a common misconception.

I feel sorry for anyone in that situation, male or female. I probably hear more about the females in every day life, so it's nice that it's being spoken about from both sides.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 03/09/2023 08:30

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/09/2023 08:26

No sympathy- a man who knows he has all the time in the world left it as late as possible hoping a woman would be available and able at 40 or that he could pull someone younger. Tough.

Same as many women then. No different. Sympathy for both.

Original poster
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 03/09/2023 08:30

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2023 08:22

Interesting closing:

there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone

Too busy not wanting children until they can't get a younger woman interested - and then it's regret they don't have anybody to take care of their needs.

Edited

Yea I was kinda with him and thought it sad, but then he's "there's no one to take care of me"

He obviously had his career and met his wife later and married, so they didn't have kids, but I guess that's his lookout, perhaps he though a young 20 something would give him kids?

Male entitlement to children, whenever they want?

Chucking out ideas...

OP posts:
ChocolateCakeOverspill · 03/09/2023 08:31

FloweryName · 03/09/2023 08:25

I think the same as I would after reading an article about a woman who couldn’t have the family she wanted. It’s just sad for them.

Its nice that it is being recognised that these things are a struggle for men too.

100% agree with you.