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AIBU?

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Original poster

Village food competition

262 replies

Sweepies · 01/09/2023 14:14

This is mostly light-hearted, my village has a very large "show" every year with many tents, food vans, entertainment etc. They have the standard exhibitions you can enter, for photography, flower arranging, longest carrot, most attractive onion, etc.

I decided to enter one of the baking competitions with a friend to see if either one of us would place 1st, 2nd or 3rd. The prize for 1st place is £3! So all to play for as you can imagine.

The category was a baked item using ready made puff pastry, I decided to make a "posh" bacon and cheese turnover using some nice bacon, brie and cranberry - finished it off with sesame seeds. My friend made some kind of chorizo twist thing.

After entering it I noticed there we're probably about 15 entries in all, including a rival bacon and cheese turnover though it looked like something from Greggs - I wasn't too worried.

After judging was over and a couple of drinks we went to see the results, neither of us placed, and the bloody rival bacon and cheese turnovers won - but what really annoyed me was the judge hadn't tried a single thing!

Most (not all) items had been sliced in half once (??) but nothing tried. I assume they were sliced to see the quality of the pastry - but as we were told to use ready made pastry that seemed a bit redundant.

I thought okay fair enough, maybe the judge doesn't like puff pastry - but it was the same for every food item. The cake category, pies, salads, sandwiches, wraps - nothing was tasted, just cut in half once.

So Mrs. Judge wouldn't have known my posh pastry contained bloody expensive bacon, brie and cranberry as it never entered her mouth. This, to me, seems to go against the spirit of the competition. If I'd known it went on looks alone I'd have put a lot more effort into how it looked and not how it tasted.

All previous years, even after coming out of covid, at least a small portion of the food was tried, so maybe it's just the judge. Or maybe it's me, expecting too much from a cooking competition.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 01/09/2023 18:17

My GF always used to win the "3 giant tomatoes on a plate of sand" prize. Until 1976 when my toddler sister ate them as they ripened on the window sill. Heveas never placed again, and he thought those people were his friends.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 01/09/2023 18:22

Sweepies · 01/09/2023 14:40

Glad to see I'm not totally bonkers! And in answer to the comments about a fix; all the entrants names were supposedly hidden, so I think the judge just had a bit of an aversion to....well, judging. Here is a pic post slicing. The top most bacon and cheese turnovers won first place, the rather....well done....onion pie thing won second place. Apparently one slice is all it takes to judge the quality!

That fact you lost to that burnt monstrosity has killed me!

Sinamin · 01/09/2023 18:47

I am loving this thread, it is bringing back so many memories for me plus it's not the winning, it's the taking apart (of the competition) that matters 😁

I had two outstanding wins back in the day, one was 'best decorated wellie' and even if I say so myself my entry was truly inspired but I must confess to cheating my way to winning the 'heaviest turnip' competition. The woman hours and effort I put into that bloody turnip had to be seen to be believed!

I'm another that is horrified that a HOYS horse was beaten by a scone though, WFT?

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 01/09/2023 18:54

AffIt · 01/09/2023 14:41

I was once up in the supreme of show at a local county show on my hunter (who went to HOYS) where all sections were judged together - cattle, sheep, horses and ponies, industrial etc.

We were all beaten by a bloody scone. I'm still bitter about it. 😄

I'm wondering how anyone could possibly judge this collection of entries, I too would have been devastated by being beaten by a scone.

ButterRoad · 01/09/2023 19:07

PuttingDownRoots · 01/09/2023 17:07

I'm quite sad they dropped the children's handwriting competition this year at ours!

I'd love to know what voodoo goes into growing the the metre long carrots and boulder sized marrows.

I used to live near a village that had an onion festival — seeds or seedlings were distributed early in the year and the secrecy and POISONOUS rivalry as they were grown, manured, fed, measured, harvested, stored etc was mind-blowing. The judging had wonderfully arbitrary categories — as well as size, there were categories for ‘most beautifully presented’, ‘most identical pair’, ‘best onion plait’, ‘best onion grown by a junior grower’ etc etc. I didn’t envy the judges. I imagine they went in fear of their lives.

Saz12 · 01/09/2023 19:07

I know someone who judged a local flower show. After she'd been round, the organisers changed all her decisions.
I once won a cup for my veggies only 3 years after moving to the village. There was more amused sympathy than ill will, but the ill will was FIERCE!

Sinamin · 01/09/2023 19:19

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 01/09/2023 18:54

I'm wondering how anyone could possibly judge this collection of entries, I too would have been devastated by being beaten by a scone.

Show quote history

This will be the dullest post on this thread, sorry in advance.

When judging multiple breeds/species you judge each against the benchmark for it's own breed/species and then pick the individual that comes closest to perfection for it's own kind compared with the other entries and their benchmark.

Someone that knows their stuff could judge say a horse and a cow and a vintage Massey Ferguson and pick the one that is the most 'true' to how they should be. In the case of the animals it would be about confirmation and temperament and for the tractor it would be about original parts, genuine paintwork etc.

The one that is closest to perfection in it's own world would win.

Scones though? Nah. That comes down to personal taste and is an insult to every other exhibitor and their animals or machinery.

junbean · 01/09/2023 19:22

This happened to me, the first and only time I entered a baking contest. They judged by looks alone! I’m still upset about it and it was probably 20 years ago. Food is for eating and taste is a major component. It goes against the point not to taste.

Ethelswith · 01/09/2023 19:23

PuttingDownRoots · 01/09/2023 17:07

I'm quite sad they dropped the children's handwriting competition this year at ours!

I'd love to know what voodoo goes into growing the the metre long carrots and boulder sized marrows.

I have a voodoo relative who can produce the most amazing, enormous vegetables. And started winning in her local show after a mere 20 years of residence as they were that good.

LuluJili · 01/09/2023 19:33

sockarefootwear · 01/09/2023 17:12

I moved to a village a few years ago (one where at least 50% of the population have have lived there for generations) and have attempted to get involved in village life. In most respects I have been warmly welcomed, but when it comes to village events of any sort I've become aware that there lots of unwritten rules that as a newcomer I cannot hope to know/follow. I wonder if OP has inadvertently fallen foul of some local 'rule' about the pastry competition?

My village doesn't have an annual show but we seem to have loads of cake decorating competitions. The last was for the Coronation and one entry was delivered in a coronation themed cake tin. The judges disqualified it on the basis that a) it had not been removed from the tin by the entrant so was not 'fit for judging'. Apparently this rule is 'common knowledge'. The entrant was not given an opportunity to return to the judging table to remove her cake from the tin as this would, apparently, give her an unfair advantage.

This is giving me Victoria Wood daytime TV parody vibes 😂

"The judges disqualified it on the basis that a) it had not been removed from the tin by the entrant so was not 'fit for judging'. Apparently this rule is 'common knowledge'. The entrant was not given an opportunity to return to the judging table to remove her cake from the tin as this would, apparently, give her an unfair advantage"

Sadly..leading to relationship breakdowns, alcoholism, depression, unemployment and alas...suicide.

LuluJili · 01/09/2023 19:43

Prescottdanni123 · 01/09/2023 16:35

@BigOldBlue1

Country shows don't have massive money pots to draw from. It is meant to be a bit of fun anyway. Any village - even one with a close community - would turn into a war zone if the residents were competing for big money.

And that's what I adore about village shows. That's not at all important but can be very important to the people involved in a very sweet way as I love people finding something completely wholesome to invest in.

I watched a documentary on YouTube recently about 'biggest vegetable' from the 1970s and it was definitely big news in the local largest vegetable competitive sector that Mr Connor had the biggest pumpkin this year, unexpectedly beating the previous champion of 10 years Mr Jenkins so there's been rumours of illegal pumpkin foods being given. And local feuds about allegations of pumpkin sobataging in the
dead of night.

If money was involved there'd likely be violence and willful destruction of pumpkins, setting fire to crops etc.

It'd be anarchy lol!

FlamingoQueen · 01/09/2023 19:45

Have you never seen Midsomer Murders?The judge probably didn’t dare taste the food in case she was poisoned 😂

FelicityFlops · 01/09/2023 19:46

Was the judge Princess Michael of Kent? She has form for not tasting things :-)

Theeyeballsinthesky · 01/09/2023 19:53

It’s our village show tomorrow - I’m already anticipating the Facebook posts if someone from the ‘new estate’ wins anything

NB the ‘new estate’ has been there for at least 20 years

Aqwertyone · 01/09/2023 20:04

Theeyeballsinthesky · 01/09/2023 19:53

It’s our village show tomorrow - I’m already anticipating the Facebook posts if someone from the ‘new estate’ wins anything

NB the ‘new estate’ has been there for at least 20 years

Waves at eyeballs. I think you live in my village - begins with O?

Theeyeballsinthesky · 01/09/2023 20:18

@Aqwertyone it doesn’t but I think all villages are the same in this respect 😆 despite the madness I love it 😊

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 01/09/2023 21:11

So between now and next year, investigate all those things food photographers do to make food look delicious and then you'll definitely win!

WiddlinDiddlin · 01/09/2023 21:21

Oh its witch-craft, the village show... beware!

There are always unwritten rules, often that completely oppose the written ones.

'Pasties, slices, turn overs must be individual portion sized'... and then someone who has made absolute whoppers that would feed six goes and wins because the unwritten rule is 'the portion size is determined by Farmer Rons Missus who made pasties three feet long back in 1893'...

I have judged the dogs and horses in the past. Never. Again.

Sour looks for chucking out the kid who was tormenting her little puppy in the 'Waggiest Tail' class by yanking him around by his headcollar (my stewards had asked her twice to stop!).

Muttering and grumping when I disqualified a glorious pedigree Irish Setter from the 'Best Rescue' class (on the grounds I knew damn well it had come directly from a breeder and been with the owner since 8 weeks and was no more a rescue than I am Kylie bloody Minogue, because it had attended my puppy classes with the handlers Mother!).

Full on row from the Mother of the Tiny Tot who was strapped into the saddle of 'his' lead rein pony... Velcro straps. The pony stood on its hind legs three times in the class, child sat there sucking his thumb or crying, couldn't even make an attempt at holding the reins. Mother had gone round the ring growling 'you little bastard' at one assumes, the pony, but possibly the child too, the whole time, in a tone half the showground could hear.

Oh and HOWLING abuse (stewards actually threw this lot out of the show ground!) from two families with very expensive ponies when I placed a nice smart kid on a pony club loan pony, above theirs. On the highly unreasonable grounds that the loan pony and rider had managed both steering, stopping and standing still, none of which the expensive ponies and riders could achieve (and they had several chances!)

Not in my opinion, worthy of a first ridden lead rein class in the slightest, but this pony had cost her a fortune for in hand showing which it did well at and she wanted her moneys worth, and I apparently, 'wouldn't know a quality animal if it kicked me in the face'.

AffIt · 01/09/2023 21:23

EvilElsa · 01/09/2023 15:11

As a fellow horsey HOYS person, I love this 😂

Show quote history

He was a star that day - won his class (small hunter), section (overall hunter), division (ridden horse), then overall champion (ridden / in-hand horse and pony) THEN went forward to the supreme of show.

I swear he rolled his eyes at me when we got home that night - 'all that, mum, to be beaten by a fucking scone'.

He knew he was the best boy, though. Sadly, he left us about ten years ago, but he was brilliant.

ThinWomansBrain · 01/09/2023 21:28

Best job induction ever was a tour of the building to judge the staff cake competition.
I tasted everything, including coffee cake that I seriously dislike.
I do like cake, but even I felt very sick by the end of it.

MillWood85 · 01/09/2023 21:28

We have a village show, and you could write out the winning/second/third prize tickets the day before as the same people always win. It's the same old village clique that have been doing so for nearly 20 years. And the man who wins all the photography competitions is a fecking professional photographer. He's quite often the only entry now....... Grin

It's always a predictable kick off on FB the next day though - that's the best bit!

NotMeNoNo · 01/09/2023 21:30

Shortly after we moved into a village I won two prizes in the show. The cakes weren't tasted as they were auctioned off- my date muffins as "prize winning rock buns".
If you want strict judging better join the WI, they have a rule book for county shoes etc. And there is most definitely tasting of food entries.

PuttingDownRoots · 01/09/2023 21:35

We have just received this month's village newspaper. They haven't had time to compile the full list of winners... but managed a feature on the family who won lots of prizes as usual.

Overall it was lovely event but that did give as a giggle.