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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a 16 year old home while on holiday

160 replies

Afewweeksofsummer · 31/08/2023 17:54

What are peoples views on this? Completely hypothetical situation.

Teen doesn't want to go on UK holiday anymore, next year he will be 16 and my mum thinks that by then it will be fine to leave him home alone for up to a week. Im not so sure and think 16 is still a bit too young.

OP posts:
Layinwait · 31/08/2023 17:55

my parents went away for one night when I was 16

i had a huge party

CeeceeBloomingdale · 31/08/2023 17:56

I have a 16yo and I personally think it’s too soon for that length of time.

Sprinkles211 · 31/08/2023 17:56

Sex alot of sex that week happening in your bed while your away lol 😆

MiddleAgedMess · 31/08/2023 17:56

My parents left me at 16 (may have even been late 15) to go up to Scotland for a week which is about 12 hours drive away from home. I felt grown up at the time but also I didn't really like being in the house for a week by myself. Do they have a friend or someone they could have stay with them?

CustardySergeant · 31/08/2023 17:57

I lived alone at 16, but not everyone is fully mature at that age. It depends what you're concerned about. Do you think he'll have a party or ?

clary · 31/08/2023 17:57

Left Ds2 when we went away a couple of years ago. In UK if that makes a difference, but about four hours away.

He was 17. It was fine. Called him every day. You’ll get ppl piling on saying your home will be trashed and they’ll have their mates over drinking…. Guess I trusted ds2 (also didn’t leave any beer!). House was so tidy when we got home.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 31/08/2023 17:57

Is there a relative or adult friend close who could look in on them?

Are they sensible?

ShanghaiDiva · 31/08/2023 17:59

Depends on child. We left dd aged 17 for a week this year and she stayed with a friend for two nights and was home alone for the remainder of the time. She was fine and had done the ironing!

Lincslady53 · 31/08/2023 18:01

I was left alone for a week at 16. Had a belting fancy dress party on the first night, spent the rest of the week cleaning up the mess, thought I had got away with it till a neighbour asked my mum who the 2 arabs were going in the house while she was away. Then she cleaned under my bed and found the dried up puke someone had kindly left there. They never let me forget it, and when our DCs reached 16 kept asking when we were going on holiday and leaving them behind.

Original poster
Afewweeksofsummer · 31/08/2023 18:01

Haha, I don't think there's much chance of him having a party unless he has a personality transplant in the next year, but I do think he'd be still a bit too young to manage properly and be very lonely.

I've got no plans to do this by the way, just interested in other pov.

My mum was married and had a dc by 17, but I think it's different nowadays and in general kids don't grow up as quickly.

There is literally no one he could stay with. I can't really understand why he doesn't like going but that's another story.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 31/08/2023 18:03

ShanghaiDiva · 31/08/2023 17:59

Depends on child. We left dd aged 17 for a week this year and she stayed with a friend for two nights and was home alone for the remainder of the time. She was fine and had done the ironing!

What a ⭐ you have.

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:04

Not a chance I’d leave my 16 year old alone for a week irrespective of personality. Not a chance. All meal prep, washing, dealing with any home emergencies, locking up every night and ensuring property secure and, most importantly, being alone at night, every night, for a week.

not. A. Chance

BethDuttonsTwin · 31/08/2023 18:04

I think it’s too young tbh.

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:05

I am sure you can understand why your 16 year old son isn’t leaping for joy at prospect of a UK family holiday.

but that is by the by. He’s 16. He comes!

clary · 31/08/2023 18:06

I meant to add, op, I would absolutely only do this if they were fully on board. Ds2 could easily have come with us, but didn’t want to.

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:06

There is literally no one he could stay with.

That is quite sad op. No friends that he could split 3 days and 4 days with?

Original poster
Afewweeksofsummer · 31/08/2023 18:07

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:04

Not a chance I’d leave my 16 year old alone for a week irrespective of personality. Not a chance. All meal prep, washing, dealing with any home emergencies, locking up every night and ensuring property secure and, most importantly, being alone at night, every night, for a week.

not. A. Chance

This is it exactly.

It's not that I wouldn't trust him, I just don't think he'd cope with all the responsibility all day everyday for a week.

Not sure what is the right age though, 17-18?

OP posts:
User1659463 · 31/08/2023 18:07

We did, DS was nearly 17 and we went away for a week in the UK, all was fine

NotAMug · 31/08/2023 18:08

My DSs would be fine at 16 for a week. It really depends on the child so not sure anyone could answer for you. We have friends/family nearby so there is always someone to call if need he.

DS1 would never have a party, DS2 not so sure but I think if I made it absolutely clear then he wouldn't.

caringcarer · 31/08/2023 18:08

I think 16 is too young for a week. One night I think it's ok but not more than that. He'll either have to come with you or stay with a relative or friend for maybe 5 days. He could probably stay alone the first night you were away and last night.

Beachywave · 31/08/2023 18:09

I mean, I had two jobs and a baby at 17 so would obviously have been fine at 16...

I left my 15 year old for two nights and made him promise not to use the oven incase he forgot about it! Planning to leave him for a long weekend in April (he'll be 16 by then) and I'm trusting him.

AlltheFs · 31/08/2023 18:14

I did stay home from 16 but we lived in a small development of 6 houses where my parents knew all the neighbours well and so they kept a close eye on things and I knew I could ask them for help anytime. I was sensible anyway, so they need not worry. I spent all my time riding ponies, the worst thing I did was have the odd sneaky cigarette.

My parents did 3 weeks in France every summer but I wasn’t left for the full 3 weeks until I was 17. At 16 it was a week and my grandparents came for 2 weeks.

I would absolutely never have had a party though. I wouldn’t have one now and I’m 45 😂

huuskymam · 31/08/2023 18:15

Get a ring door bell so you can see who's coming and going 😂😂 I noticed 2 of my the 17 year olds friends knocking at 2am while I was away. Turns out they were getting cans of coke from my son(everything was seen on camera)

Peakypolly · 31/08/2023 18:15

We left DS at home at 16. I knew he would be fine, or as fine as any adult. He was assisting with coaching at the local cricket club on 3 of the 5 days so even managed packed lunches as well as his own meals. On the last two nights he had a mate to stay. The house was tidy, he'd put the bins out, although the cricket kit hadn't been washed.
I'm not sure how, the less than two years between 16 and leaving home for Uni, changes a person from not being capable of staying alone overnight to being equipped to run an independent life.

izzygirlis4 · 31/08/2023 18:18

I'm leaving my 16 year old for a week. I've left him overnight on his own quite often. More recently a long weekend.
He works full time, is a clean freak and pretty sensible kid.
The worse he will be doing is having a few drinks and friends over.

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