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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leaving a 16 year old home while on holiday

160 replies

Afewweeksofsummer · 31/08/2023 17:54

What are peoples views on this? Completely hypothetical situation.

Teen doesn't want to go on UK holiday anymore, next year he will be 16 and my mum thinks that by then it will be fine to leave him home alone for up to a week. Im not so sure and think 16 is still a bit too young.

OP posts:
Uterusbegone · 31/08/2023 20:28

I think it's different nowadays and in general kids don't grow up as quickly.

That's only because parents won't let them!

gogomoto · 31/08/2023 20:31

Left my dd for 2 nights, her friend was supposed to stay with her - In reality her boyfriend came around Blush parenting fail found out years later

Hollyppp · 31/08/2023 20:35

My parents left my 17 year old brother at home for a week, had 3 parties!!

Cotswoldbee · 31/08/2023 20:37

When I was 16 I left school, started work (with a commute of 35-miles for the induction training) and stayed (on my own) in my parents home while they were on holiday for a fortnight.
Don't think I was any more/less mature than my contemporaries but the idea of filling my parents house with a load of friends (or strangers) just didn't cross my mind and knowing I needed to get to work meant I wasn't going to be living it up.

RoseMartha · 31/08/2023 20:41

No not even for one night. My 16 yr old is not responsible enough. My 15 yr old is more mature tbh. But still too young.

Toddler101 · 31/08/2023 20:42

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 17:55

my parents went away for one night when I was 16

i had a huge party

I went to a huge party when my friends parents went away at that age. Their cat ended up in the washing machine and tins of tuna in the microwave. The fish tank got broken and there was puke everywhere. No animals were harmed and nothing was switched on, I think the cat was hiding or taking shelter 😆

Best party ever and still reminisced upwards of 18 years later!!

No, I wouldn't go away for a week and leave a 16yo by themself.

weegiemum · 31/08/2023 20:44

When ds (now 21) was 16, we left him alone when we went on holiday to our holiday home 7 hours away (included a ferry) for 6 days.

When we were about 3 hours away from home I got a call. "What do I use to clean floors?". I explained that flash was under the sink and where he could find a mop!

When we got home the whole house was sparkling (but had clearly been cleaned with undiluted flash from the smell. It set off dh's asthma!). Ds and his mates were on the sofa playing Mario kart.

He's since admitted he had 25 people there and had had to scrub sick off the walls on the stairs. Plus clean the bathroom and downstairs toilet.

I'm just delighted he cleaned up. The previous year when then 17 yo dd1 had done the same she knew the cleaners were coming the next day and left it to them. We took the price of that weeks clean out of her allowance!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 31/08/2023 20:45

Sil went on holiday and came back to her house trashed.
Ds's were 16 and 17

GeneJeanie · 31/08/2023 20:48

For a completely hypothetical scenario it has quite specific details.

somewhereovertherain · 31/08/2023 20:51

We left ours around that age both for a week and a couple do weekends. Never had an issue but grandparents where fairly close.

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 31/08/2023 20:53

Sprinkles211 · 31/08/2023 17:56

Sex alot of sex that week happening in your bed while your away lol 😆

That's what happened when my folks left me at 16 🙈

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 31/08/2023 20:54

clary · 31/08/2023 17:57

Left Ds2 when we went away a couple of years ago. In UK if that makes a difference, but about four hours away.

He was 17. It was fine. Called him every day. You’ll get ppl piling on saying your home will be trashed and they’ll have their mates over drinking…. Guess I trusted ds2 (also didn’t leave any beer!). House was so tidy when we got home.

Yeah because they tidied up after the party!!

Dramatic · 31/08/2023 20:57

Layinwait · 31/08/2023 18:56

Were you sweeping chimneys aged 5 by any chance?

Show quote history

No 😂 and I'm not sure why you're bringing up a 5 year old, I'm pretty sure no one is considering leaving a child that young on their own for a week.

What I said is true though, I was doing that at that age so obviously some 16 year olds are capable of that. And I'd say most, if not all, 16 year olds should be able to manage for a week.

clary · 31/08/2023 20:57

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 31/08/2023 20:54

Yeah because they tidied up after the party!!

Show quote history

I’m hoping you are having a joke but on the offchance that you are serious… I trust my son, I give him that much credit, and he actually cares about the house he also lives in.

Also agree with the pp who said, if not at16, then how will they be able to leave home and go to uni at18?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/08/2023 20:57

I think it depends entirely on the teen in question.

I think my daughter in a year or so (she will turn 16 in just over a year) would be able to cope but would be lonely, and maybe a bit scared.

Zanatdy · 31/08/2023 21:01

I think 16 is ok, just. My DS was left at 16 for 2 nights as DD was admitted for an emergency blood transfusion. He was absolutely fine. Then I left DS age 17 and DD 14 for a week as they didn’t want to come and visit family. They were absolutely fine, no parties as have ring doorbell! They aren’t the party type, I’d have actually been quite impressed had any invited any friends over, but nope, they both did school work etc. If there’s family nearby and aren’t party type teen then yes

Zanatdy · 31/08/2023 21:02

I had a baby at 16, 2 months before I was 17 and whilst I lived at home until 18 I was perfectly capable of caring for 2!

mambojambodothetango · 31/08/2023 21:04

My parents left me for a week at 16 with a fridge full of food. I was fine. Some 16 year olds live alone or care for others with no parents around.

Strokethefurrywall · 31/08/2023 21:04

Remembering what my sister and I got up to when our parents buggered off to Borneo for 3 weeks when she was 18 and I was 16, my immediate reaction is a hard no.

We had a load of parties- thankfully nothing got trashed and we knew everyone there, our friends were good kids, just clumsy oafs really. But we still did things we shouldn't.

I remember getting collected early from a friends house party when I was 16 (thank god!) and it descended into an absolute shit show, about 100 people showed up, someone's cigarette set the curtains alight, and every room was trashed, covered in vomit, booze and cigarette burns in the carpets etc.

Teens + booze + people you don't know + limited sense of responsibility = recipe for disaster!

If your child isn't that social, my bigger concern would be them being lonely if they've not got a close circle around them.

rhino12345 · 31/08/2023 21:05

I was left home alone at 16. Loved it. It was fine. Depends on your trust though - I would be concerned about parties etc.

AuntieEsther · 31/08/2023 21:07

I would, because my DS would spend most nights sleeping over with friends and wouldn't mind. If he was going to be alone I only would if he was insistent he was happy and I believed him.

chickbean · 31/08/2023 21:10

My DS is 16, almost 17. We have just left him for 2 weeks while were abroad (he didn't want to come). We alerted the neighbours, DM who lives locally and DMIL who rang every few days. He's not a party animal. so we weren't worried about him having loads of people round. He did ring us after two days to say that he missed us, and being independent wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He survived, the house was fine, apart from a load of mouldy food in the fridge. If he had come with us, I am sure he'd have moaned. Next year I think he may choose to come with us - so I see that as a positive.

dnasurprise · 31/08/2023 21:12

I suppose there is also the question of what if they refuse to come with you. You can't force them at that age.

DanceMumTaxi · 31/08/2023 21:14

My parents went abroad for two weeks not long after my 16th birthday (yr 11). I stayed with a family member for the first week, but stayed on my own the second week. I went to school every day and was absolutely fine. I had a few friends round (who would have been allowed anyway) but no parties.

USaYwHatNow · 31/08/2023 21:14

So I'm a female, and was left alone at 16yo for 10 days. Moved my boyfriend in with my parents consent. I was and have always been really mature and can honestly say we had 2 other equally mature couples over for dinner. We just enjoyed playing house to be fair. But I definitely think I'm not the norm 😂